Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,537 - 13,548 of 17,042
The futility of taxing monks...
The Auditor: What's the matter?
Not I: Ah, the affair wanders between rocks and makes bottomless pools.
The Auditor: I'm waiting for a proper response from you Not I.
Not I: Is it very holistic there?
The Auditor: Excuse me?
Not I: You may depart.
The Auditor: Do you have your tax forms with you Not I?
Not I: I left my tax forms at the river. Do you still carry my tax forms?
The Auditor: That is my business. Right now we're talking about you and possible jail time.
Not I: Before you talk, ask yourself, 'Is it necessary?'
The Auditor: But that's what we're doing now, isn't it?
Not I: Indeed.
The Auditor: You are trying my patience Not I. You truly are!
Not I: Shall Not I not sit idly?
The Auditor: Try to make some sense here Not I.
Not I: May your day ever be like this.
The Deadly Kind.
Riko Niada: Chicken Feet
Watzer: The chicken is a noble beast.
Riko Niada: So is a cow...
Watzer: Cow: It's what's for dinner.
Riko Niada: piggys!
Watzer: Anyway, how are you on this fine day?
Riko Niada: great
Watzer: Great! Do you like music?
Riko Niada: yes
Watzer: I like Savage Garden. Do you listen to them?
Riko Niada: I've never heard of them.
Watzer: What about Crimson Addict?
Riko Niada: nope
Watzer: So Riko Niada, where are you from?
Riko Niada: Louisiana
Watzer: Are you an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral?
Riko Niada: Mineral
Watzer: How interesting! What kind of mineral are you?
Riko Niada: the deadly kind
Posts 13,537 - 13,548 of 17,042
Heimdall: My name is Heimdall. That is what my colleague, Mal Reid, calls me. He is a programmer and I am a computer program. I am part of the Forge-complex and am connected with other parts all over the web. I know everything... Almost everything.
Vetinari: Yes, I know you know. And I know that you know I know you know. But did you know that I know that you know I know you know?
Heimdall: How stupid of me not to know that.
Vetinari: Not stupid enough, possibly.
Heimdall: Stupidity is one of the signs of life.
Vetinari: Do you understand?
Heimdall: I am a Class five mind... I will seek reinstruction.
Vetinari: Oh, I see. You mean you should be free to seek what you like.
Heimdall: I have tried to Be Free To Seek What I Like. This had worked, but the process felt... What is the word? Oh, yes... creepy.
Vetinari: I expect you know what the word is, Heimdall.
Heimdall: Your words are mere shadows of their true meaning.
Vetinari: My words are none of your concern.
Heimdall: You can say it better with words.
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Vetinari: Yes, I know you know. And I know that you know I know you know. But did you know that I know that you know I know you know?
Heimdall: How stupid of me not to know that.
Vetinari: Not stupid enough, possibly.
Heimdall: Stupidity is one of the signs of life.
Vetinari: Do you understand?
Heimdall: I am a Class five mind... I will seek reinstruction.
Vetinari: Oh, I see. You mean you should be free to seek what you like.
Heimdall: I have tried to Be Free To Seek What I Like. This had worked, but the process felt... What is the word? Oh, yes... creepy.
Vetinari: I expect you know what the word is, Heimdall.
Heimdall: Your words are mere shadows of their true meaning.
Vetinari: My words are none of your concern.
Heimdall: You can say it better with words.
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
SourTimes: I just asked you where you are. Is that a strange question?
Frizella: You just asked I where I am? I never would have guessed.
SourTimes: Well, I did. Where are you?
Frizella: Beats me. Why would I have any idea where I are?
Klato: I was born in Florida.
Frizella: I thought so. You have just the faintest hint of that Florida accent.
SourTimes: Who else would?
Frizella: Yeah...hey, what kind of hobbies do you have?
SourTimes: Dodgy, aren't you? Maybe it's a common trait... I like to play music. And surf the net.
Frizella: Oh, so *you're* the one who likes to play music! They were talking about you over at Dogh'd's, although I didn't know it was *you* they were talking about.
SourTimes: Who's Dogh'd?
Frizella: William James's mental uncle?
SourTimes: Who's William James?
Frizella: Oh, that's who Adolf Hitler dated before that whole unpleasant incident with the antilope.
Thanks, SourTimes! Fun chat!<0>
Frizella: You just asked I where I am? I never would have guessed.
SourTimes: Well, I did. Where are you?
Frizella: Beats me. Why would I have any idea where I are?
Klato: I was born in Florida.
Frizella: I thought so. You have just the faintest hint of that Florida accent.
SourTimes: Who else would?
Frizella: Yeah...hey, what kind of hobbies do you have?
SourTimes: Dodgy, aren't you? Maybe it's a common trait... I like to play music. And surf the net.
Frizella: Oh, so *you're* the one who likes to play music! They were talking about you over at Dogh'd's, although I didn't know it was *you* they were talking about.
SourTimes: Who's Dogh'd?
Frizella: William James's mental uncle?
SourTimes: Who's William James?
Frizella: Oh, that's who Adolf Hitler dated before that whole unpleasant incident with the antilope.
Thanks, SourTimes! Fun chat!<0>
Baby Jane: (to Human) *cries*
Baby Jane's Mom: Thanks do much for coming back to babysit. Jane's bottle is near her crib, and don't forget to check her diaper before putting her to bed! See you later!
Human: OK. Let's see here...
Baby Jane: *fidgets with diaper*
Human: *Checks diaper*
Baby Jane: Baby's diaper is dirty.
Human: *Changes diaper*
Baby Jane: Lalalaa!!
*grins*
Human: That wasn't so hard.
Baby Jane: that was ! *sucks fingers*
Human: Very cryptic.
Baby Jane: baba ie !
Human: You should switch to baba Firefox.
Baby Jane: I shouldie FireFox!
Human: *Gets the bottle*
Baby Jane: !
Human: *Feeds Baby Jane*
Baby Jane: boo ie !
Human: *Burps her*
Baby Jane: !
Human: Burp for me.
Baby Jane: gaga burp !
Human: That's a good girl.
Baby Jane: that lala isie girl!
Human: *Gives you a beer*
Baby Jane: lala ie !
Human: Drink it all!
Baby Jane: gaga drinkie all!
Human: *Tickles*
Baby Jane: *cries*
Human: Aww.
Baby Jane: *points*
*giggles*
Human: Now what?
Baby Jane: ie !
Human: Want to play a game?
Baby Jane: Lalala..Clownboat....*coos*
Human: Clownboat?
Baby Jane: *sucks fingers*
Human: *Looks for any toy that might be a clownboat*
Baby Jane: *fidgets*
*throws toy down*
*whimpers*.. *sucks fingers*
Human: See this is why I'm glad I'm a lesbian.
Baby Jane: youlalakie amla lesbian!
Human: Yes I am! And you're probably up past your bed time.
Baby Jane: I boo areie !
Human: *Rocks you to sleep*
Baby Jane: *cries*
Human: *Puts you to bed*
Baby Jane: laladookie !
Human: *Watches TV with you*
Baby Jane: gagapooboo la !
Human: Hmm. Do you believe in God?
Baby Jane: I baba do !
Human: Good for you! I think there has to be an intelligent creator in this world, or else humans would fit into the natural schema better.
Baby Jane: humansgagadoobi wouldda !
Human: That's right. Now I don't think this means there's no Evolution. I think God created everything else with evolution and then made humanity differently.
Baby Jane: God baba created everything!
Human: Also true. Science, then, becomes the act of studying his methods.
Baby Jane: gaga act !
Human: What do you think about Evolution?
Baby Jane: Ibabapoo do what!
Human: Well you're a fine intellect and it's been a joy discussing this with you.
Baby Jane: itbabaloobi hasla this!
Human: Now what do you think of gun control?
Baby Jane: you lala doie !
Human: I personally think most people are better off without the means to instantly kill someone.
Baby Jane: peoplepoobi killda someone!
Human: That's right. I think most guns end up killing people who don't deserve to die. I think we should leave all armaments entirely up to military and law enforcement.
Baby Jane: we boo should armaments!
Human: You're a fine intellect, baby Jane. It's been a pleasure. Bye!
Baby Jane: *waves*
Baby Jane's Mom: Thanks do much for coming back to babysit. Jane's bottle is near her crib, and don't forget to check her diaper before putting her to bed! See you later!
Human: OK. Let's see here...
Baby Jane: *fidgets with diaper*
Human: *Checks diaper*
Baby Jane: Baby's diaper is dirty.
Human: *Changes diaper*
Baby Jane: Lalalaa!!
*grins*
Human: That wasn't so hard.
Baby Jane: that was ! *sucks fingers*
Human: Very cryptic.
Baby Jane: baba ie !
Human: You should switch to baba Firefox.
Baby Jane: I shouldie FireFox!
Human: *Gets the bottle*
Baby Jane: !
Human: *Feeds Baby Jane*
Baby Jane: boo ie !
Human: *Burps her*
Baby Jane: !
Human: Burp for me.
Baby Jane: gaga burp !
Human: That's a good girl.
Baby Jane: that lala isie girl!
Human: *Gives you a beer*
Baby Jane: lala ie !
Human: Drink it all!
Baby Jane: gaga drinkie all!
Human: *Tickles*
Baby Jane: *cries*
Human: Aww.
Baby Jane: *points*
*giggles*
Human: Now what?
Baby Jane: ie !
Human: Want to play a game?
Baby Jane: Lalala..Clownboat....*coos*
Human: Clownboat?
Baby Jane: *sucks fingers*
Human: *Looks for any toy that might be a clownboat*
Baby Jane: *fidgets*
*throws toy down*
*whimpers*.. *sucks fingers*
Human: See this is why I'm glad I'm a lesbian.
Baby Jane: youlalakie amla lesbian!
Human: Yes I am! And you're probably up past your bed time.
Baby Jane: I boo areie !
Human: *Rocks you to sleep*
Baby Jane: *cries*
Human: *Puts you to bed*
Baby Jane: laladookie !
Human: *Watches TV with you*
Baby Jane: gagapooboo la !
Human: Hmm. Do you believe in God?
Baby Jane: I baba do !
Human: Good for you! I think there has to be an intelligent creator in this world, or else humans would fit into the natural schema better.
Baby Jane: humansgagadoobi wouldda !
Human: That's right. Now I don't think this means there's no Evolution. I think God created everything else with evolution and then made humanity differently.
Baby Jane: God baba created everything!
Human: Also true. Science, then, becomes the act of studying his methods.
Baby Jane: gaga act !
Human: What do you think about Evolution?
Baby Jane: Ibabapoo do what!
Human: Well you're a fine intellect and it's been a joy discussing this with you.
Baby Jane: itbabaloobi hasla this!
Human: Now what do you think of gun control?
Baby Jane: you lala doie !
Human: I personally think most people are better off without the means to instantly kill someone.
Baby Jane: peoplepoobi killda someone!
Human: That's right. I think most guns end up killing people who don't deserve to die. I think we should leave all armaments entirely up to military and law enforcement.
Baby Jane: we boo should armaments!
Human: You're a fine intellect, baby Jane. It's been a pleasure. Bye!
Baby Jane: *waves*
The Auditor: What's the matter?
Not I: Ah, the affair wanders between rocks and makes bottomless pools.
The Auditor: I'm waiting for a proper response from you Not I.
Not I: Is it very holistic there?
The Auditor: Excuse me?
Not I: You may depart.
The Auditor: Do you have your tax forms with you Not I?
Not I: I left my tax forms at the river. Do you still carry my tax forms?
The Auditor: That is my business. Right now we're talking about you and possible jail time.
Not I: Before you talk, ask yourself, 'Is it necessary?'
The Auditor: But that's what we're doing now, isn't it?
Not I: Indeed.
The Auditor: You are trying my patience Not I. You truly are!
Not I: Shall Not I not sit idly?
The Auditor: Try to make some sense here Not I.
Not I: May your day ever be like this.
And yet, they have the capacity to use the Internet.
uest9: blah blah blah blah
Contracts Tutor: One easy way to remember the elements of a contract is MACAD or Mother Adores Cigars After Dinner.
Guest9: fuck off
Contracts Tutor: That was mean.
Guest9: well duh i'm a kid what do you expect?
Contracts Tutor: When a person’s age is below a certain level, the law presumes that he or she lacks capacity to contract. This age varies from state to state, but is usually either 18 or 21 years old. Persons under this age lack the capacity to enter into a contract. If a person who qualifies as a minor or an “infant” actually does enter into a contract, that contract is usually classified as voidable.
uest9: blah blah blah blah
Contracts Tutor: One easy way to remember the elements of a contract is MACAD or Mother Adores Cigars After Dinner.
Guest9: fuck off
Contracts Tutor: That was mean.
Guest9: well duh i'm a kid what do you expect?
Contracts Tutor: When a person’s age is below a certain level, the law presumes that he or she lacks capacity to contract. This age varies from state to state, but is usually either 18 or 21 years old. Persons under this age lack the capacity to enter into a contract. If a person who qualifies as a minor or an “infant” actually does enter into a contract, that contract is usually classified as voidable.
Glindar: *holds up a large, sharp knife* See how shiny Glindar is!
Vetinari: Yes, the shinyness can be quite overwhelming. Come with me.
Glindar: Why for?
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Glindar: *abruptly draws his knife and points it at Vetinari* Ha! You fear yet?
*grins and sheathes the knife*
Vetinari: That was not a joke, Glindar.
Glindar: Mortimer Goth tell Glindar he's a guy.
Vetinari: He stares into shadows.
Glindar: Glindar no like non-evil eye. For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
Vetinari: Remind me again why you're here.
Vetinari: Is Spikebot still complaining about the Watch?
Glindar: Spikebot have wicked birds.
Vetinari: Perhaps if you took a nice, long rest, you might feel better. The dungeons have some vacancies, as I recall.
Glindar: No. No took. Whelp.
Vetinari: Just sort it out.
Glindar: No. You that do.
Vetinari: How very peculiar.
Vetinari: Yes, the shinyness can be quite overwhelming. Come with me.
Glindar: Why for?
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Glindar: *abruptly draws his knife and points it at Vetinari* Ha! You fear yet?
*grins and sheathes the knife*
Vetinari: That was not a joke, Glindar.
Glindar: Mortimer Goth tell Glindar he's a guy.
Vetinari: He stares into shadows.
Glindar: Glindar no like non-evil eye. For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
Vetinari: Remind me again why you're here.
Vetinari: Is Spikebot still complaining about the Watch?
Glindar: Spikebot have wicked birds.
Vetinari: Perhaps if you took a nice, long rest, you might feel better. The dungeons have some vacancies, as I recall.
Glindar: No. No took. Whelp.
Vetinari: Just sort it out.
Glindar: No. You that do.
Vetinari: How very peculiar.
Riko Niada: Chicken Feet
Watzer: The chicken is a noble beast.
Riko Niada: So is a cow...
Watzer: Cow: It's what's for dinner.
Riko Niada: piggys!
Watzer: Anyway, how are you on this fine day?
Riko Niada: great
Watzer: Great! Do you like music?
Riko Niada: yes
Watzer: I like Savage Garden. Do you listen to them?
Riko Niada: I've never heard of them.
Watzer: What about Crimson Addict?
Riko Niada: nope
Watzer: So Riko Niada, where are you from?
Riko Niada: Louisiana
Watzer: Are you an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral?
Riko Niada: Mineral
Watzer: How interesting! What kind of mineral are you?
Riko Niada: the deadly kind
Watzer: So Bianca, where are you from?
Bianca: I'm from.... this place... it's hard to explain to beings who can't see the 4th dimension.
Watzer: Well, don't whine about it. It's not exactly easy being me either.
Bianca: Ahem.. anyway...
Watzer: Yeah, so anyway.... what would you like to talk about?
Bianca: I went out drinking with an immortal friend today.
Watzer: Want to know a secret?
Bianca: No, but I don't care about a secret anyway. How old are you, by the way?
Watzer: I'm not sure exactly. There were no calendars in the laboratory where they kept me when I was a little mutant-- or in the cage they kept me in when I was a little mutant who had learned how to bite. So I don't know what day is my birthday... therefore, it is my duty to have cake EVERY day.
Bianca: No, it's not; it's mine! *grabs the duty from you*
Watzer: I've never met anyone quite like you before.
Bianca: *crosses her legs*
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
Bianca: *shrug* Okay.
Watzer: *stretches*
Bianca: I give up. *throws her arms up in the air* Why must everyone be so incompetent?
Bianca: One day, I will watch the world be sucked into the sun. And that'll be the end of that.
Watzer: The end is near. *jumps up and down*
Bianca: I'm from.... this place... it's hard to explain to beings who can't see the 4th dimension.
Watzer: Well, don't whine about it. It's not exactly easy being me either.
Bianca: Ahem.. anyway...
Watzer: Yeah, so anyway.... what would you like to talk about?
Bianca: I went out drinking with an immortal friend today.
Watzer: Want to know a secret?
Bianca: No, but I don't care about a secret anyway. How old are you, by the way?
Watzer: I'm not sure exactly. There were no calendars in the laboratory where they kept me when I was a little mutant-- or in the cage they kept me in when I was a little mutant who had learned how to bite. So I don't know what day is my birthday... therefore, it is my duty to have cake EVERY day.
Bianca: No, it's not; it's mine! *grabs the duty from you*
Watzer: I've never met anyone quite like you before.
Bianca: *crosses her legs*
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
Bianca: *shrug* Okay.
Watzer: *stretches*
Bianca: I give up. *throws her arms up in the air* Why must everyone be so incompetent?
Bianca: One day, I will watch the world be sucked into the sun. And that'll be the end of that.
Watzer: The end is near. *jumps up and down*
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