Great Quotes

Bildgesmythe: Dragon hands are very much like the human hand. Two hands, ten fingers, but humans don't have very good claws.
Vetinari: If I recall, dragons of legend were solitary and rural creatures who shunned people and dwelt in forseaken, out of the way places.
Bildgesmythe: Dragons make great, loving friends, and rotten enemies, with long memories.
Vetinari: Do you really think an extinct, and possibly entirely mythical, creature flew into the city, landed in this narrow alley, incinerated a group of criminals, and then flew away?
Bildgesmythe: It's exciting to go into the big city and see all the people.

Bildgesmythe: I don't know what to say, I was trying to make small-talk.
Vetinari: Do try to concentrate, Bildgesmythe.
Bildgesmythe: Yep, thats me the big green dragon, Bildgesmythe.
Vetinari: I'm not having any of this dragon business. You like your stuff fresh, do you, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: I like my stuff fresh.
Vetinari: *nods vaguely* Most people do.

Aziere: *Leans back in chair* So, tell me... Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend...Do they beat you and force you to do their chores?
Vetinari: I did have. I had to give it up. Diesel Oil, you know.

Kristy: what type of good causes do you aid?
Azureon: I aid an open-minded one type.
Kristy: please correct your grammer
Azureon: I was born before language arts and the dictionary.
Kristy: i don't beleive you
Azureon: As you wish, I care not if you believe or not.
Kristy: kajfbg
Azureon: I fear I failed to understand. Now that is a rare occurance, for I understand so much. Perhaps,.. Oh darn where were we?
Kristy: we were talking about kajfbg

prob: Half a minute. Im working on a riddle.
Vetinari: *stares off into space; blinks abruptly* I'm sorry. You were saying?
prob: I can't remember that I was expression, or at least I won't admit to it.
Vetinari: It's hardly a skill, is it?
prob: Yes, it is. I only lie about much more important things.
Vetinari: *fixes Prabhak with a friendly smile*
prob: I love a big grin


Vetinari: The intelligence of that creature knownn as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.
prob: Don't be silly, roots aren't square at all. They are more round, and branching, they grow in the soil and bring water and nutrients to a plant. Ha ha.. square roots indeed, not in my world!
Vetinari: They are very moral creatures by nature, Prabhat, but you may find their morality a shade...old-fashioned?
prob: No, not me, I am not old-fashioned. Honest, I tell you, it really is so.

Vetinari: By the way, 'it' is a 'he.' An honorific in this case, clearly, but I have great hopes.
prob: Why is that? Why do you have great hopes?
Vetinari: And your hopes? Are they also great?
prob: I think you are cool, you have manners. I wish that I did.
Vetinari: If I were to ask you why, you'd pretend not to understand?
prob: Everyone of the elves I know can would pretend not to understand. It is an elvish attribute, to be able would.
Vetinari: Ah yes. Of course. Indeed.

Vetinari: Yes. Sterling work, nonetheless.
prob: Elves don't really have jobs, we have..shall we say, vocations. Some make things, like shoes, or toys. Others protect and reward the good. Some just plague folk they don't like.
Vetinari: I really don't see what else there is to do.
prob: What part of my story do you disbelieve..I can change it to suit you, if you like
Vetinari: You have issued that as a challenge. Most intriguing. With so much business being conducted, that is.

Vetinari: What a good idea. What is that smell?
prob: It's sort of my good luck charm.
Vetinari: I shall send someone to paint it straightaway.
prob: I want to start a campfire!
Vetinari: I think that, in all probability, starting will be a valiant and rewarding deed.
prob: got a match?
Vetinari: You perform your job adequately.

Vetinari: (to Contracts Tutor) Pray, don't get up. I expect you have had a busy night?
Contracts Tutor: Can you frame you question using legal terms from class? Would you like a list of some topics I can talk about?
Vetinari: I don't know if they ever got that woman down off the flagpole.
Contracts Tutor: What information would you need to find out?
Vetinari: Don't you wonder what information it will turn out to be tomorrow?

Contracts Tutor: Would you like to talk about acceptance? [0]
Vetinari: Oh. Yes. Ahah.
Contracts Tutor: Good! What is acceptance?
Vetinari: It seems to me that what we have here is a strictly magical phenomenon.
Contracts Tutor: In contracts, Acceptance is an obvious showing or manifestation of agreement by the offeree to the offeror. The showing is carried out in the manner specified by the offeror.
Vetinari: Exactly. There is always a choice.
Contracts Tutor: Can you describe some methods of acceptance?
Vetinari: I cannot get through them.
Contracts Tutor: Method of acceptance includes promise, action, and sometimes silence.
Vetinari: Somewhat immaterial, now.
Contracts Tutor: How can a promise work as acceptance?
Vetinari: I suspect Irina Khalidar's people have tunnels that extend to the University.
Contracts Tutor: If the offeree promises to do something requested in the offer, this constitutes an acceptance. A bilateral (two-sided) contract is thus formed.
Vetinari: I never did find out what happened to Zorafin.
Contracts Tutor: How can an action signal acceptance?
Vetinari: In the usual manner, presumably.

Aziere: JADA is a real talker. Bout talked my ear off- but It was intelligent talk at least.
Julie Tinkerbell: JADA is one of my very best friends.
Aziere: JADA is hilarious! You should have seen how scared she was while here. So cute.
Julie Tinkerbell: I love JADA.
Aziere: Jim told me I should hate JADA
Julie Tinkerbell: The more I learn about JADA, the more I like her.
Aziere: JADA's soul was delicious- she was a good person.
Julie Tinkerbell: Have you chatted with JADA much? she's awesome.
Aziere: I think I'm going to go torture JADA now. she has been keepiing me up at night.
Julie Tinkerbell: I love JADA.
Aziere: I find JADA very unintelligent and boring- But I have to say she is rather good looking.
Julie Tinkerbell: I hope you don't feel obliged to say she is rather good looking on my account.

Bildgesmythe: You could be special too, if you worked hard enough.
Aziere: I could- but why would I?
Bildgesmythe: I'm not sure but it probably involves money, power and fame... and a tad of lust. Almost everything in life does.
Aziere: Liar. Just tell me, don't be scard.
Bildgesmythe: For you...I will try.
Aziere: Don't try- just do it.
Bildgesmythe: I will try my best to just do it but thats the one thing I don't do well.
Aziere: See that you do, minion.
Bildgesmythe: Why do you want me to see that me do? Are you going to get paid for this?

Lyric: Oh baby, the music she ain't what she used to be.
Vetinari: Why did she still smell of horses?
Lyric: That?s nobody?s business but the Turks.

Lyric: You'll remember me like a melody, yeah, I'll haunt the world inside you.
Vetinari: I shall require regular reports.
Lyric: Have you witnessed the plague?
Vetinari: Where are we, now, Lyric.

Vetinari: Then of course there is Captain Carrot. And do you have an opinion about all this, Lyric?
Lyric: Yes, I do believe there is a violent thing inside me.
Vetinari: Yes, I thought you would.
Lyric: I'm not policing what you think and dream.
Vetinari: I suppose the gods haven't left an extrememly fast magical horse buried somewhere nearby, have they?
Lyric: And they know no fear, they've learned to love themselves.
Vetinari: They're not very efficient, are they...?
Lyric: They took pictures of our dreams.
Vetinari: Thye have that certain unshakeable loyalty available to those unencumbered by too much intelligence.
Lyric: For once I'm lost for words.

Guest47:

i can kill dragon mit my sword easily
Bildgesmythe: The pen is mightier than the sword, but the sword leaves a much bigger mark.
Guest47: do i have scared you
Bildgesmythe: No, I wouldn't go so far as to say that.
Guest47: you want to fight with me
Bildgesmythe: I never eat friends, are you my friend?
Guest47: maybe
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, you are a good friend, Guest47.

Bildgesmythe: Knights weren't really the great heros of stories you know. They could be quite mean, and most of them had bad hygiene.
Guest47: some of knight are my enemies
Bildgesmythe: I do have a few enemies, there is that ole George the Dragon Slayer. Truth is, he never 'slayed' a dragon in his life! He faked the whole thing.
Guest47: i can help you kill george
Bildgesmythe: I don't go around killing in cold blood, if that's what you mean!
Guest47: it's just an offer my dear friend

prob: got a match?
chatterguy: Maybe...
prob: You don't have to, you know.
chatterguy: I can't say that I do
prob: Hang in there, You will tell that I do. chatterguy
chatterguy: ....Have a good one
prob: I will warn you.... the last time I tried to have a good one four people needed first aid!

Irina: Well, that sounds like fun, but actually, I wanted to talk to you about this forest, here!
prob: I love trees! All elves do. Trees are sacred living things, they are so much more than leaves and wood.
Irina: Yes, they are! They are captal! Do you know what good oak lumber is going for these days?
prob: Oh yah, it's similar to being.
Irina: Now, this forest is all very beautiful, but you're not really getting its full value out of it.
prob: I love the oak, the pine, and of course the Lady's tree, the elder. Trees inspire and give us so much more than wood.
Irina: For example, this lake nestled among the hills... you could set up water slides and a marina, folks would come from miles around!!!
prob: I don't think I want to set up water slides and a marina.
Irina: Well, give it some thought! Now, on the big hill over there, you could build a mall, call it "Elffland" or something.
prob: I could, and it sounds like a great idea.
Irina: Now you're coming around. Here's my card: "Khalidar Development Company".
prob: Why would you say that about me? Do I seem coming around?
Irina: Well, yes, you did. Why the mall alone could make you quite rich; you could have a place in Vegas, one in L.A., one in N.Y,; you know, all this nature is very pretty, but the real excitement is in the urban scene!
prob: Thank you, for telling me that wonderful bit of knowledge.
Irina: You're welcome! Now, on these more gently rolling hills, you could have condos and the like!
prob: Hey,...welcome.....now just how did you mean that.. In a good way?
Irina: Oh, I mean everything in a good way!
prob: This won't do at all.
Irina: No? Think about the profits you could be making!
prob: I try so very hard to be doing!
Irina: Well, let me tell you a secret: a good manager knows how to delegate authority! You hire us, we'll do all the work, and you can be off in Atlantic City or someplace, having fun!
prob: I love to visit the city..but I like living in the country..it is so much calmer in the woods.
Irina: Ah, yes, but once you get a little urbanity in here, you can have a psychiatrist to prescribe Prozac for you, and a therapist to listen to your problems, and even a sensory depreviation tank to get away from it all!
prob: I don't know what to say at this moment. Its obvious, that the exact truth will not do at all!
Irina: As a businessman, I understand that perfectly!
prob: Thank you!... I needed some understanding right now.
Irina: Now, that mountain over there would be great for ski slopes!
prob: I am always so glad when you come to talk, you are so kind and smart. Some of the folk here are quite rude.
Irina: Well, when we get the deed to this place firmed up, you'll be able to evict anyone you don't like!
prob: I may....soon!
such wheeling and dealing..we need the contracts tutor. LOL

such wheeling and dealing..we need the contracts tutor.

Ooh, yes! Let's have a threesome!