Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 13,116 - 13,127 of 17,042

18 years ago #13116
Reign: What in the world are you talking about?
Not I: Stop talking, stop thinking, and there is nothing you will not understand.
Reign: Okay.
Not I: Okeh. Therapy understands the non-nature of unreality.
Reign: I sure hope you're not driving today.

18 years ago #13117
God Louise: There's a reason things turn out the way they do.
Not I: We now know that a reason things turn out the way they do is demonstrably not there when nobody looks.
God Louise: Hey now. Patience is a virtue.
Not I: Awakening to this present instant, we realize that the infinite is in the finite of each instant.
God Louise: Everybody says that. But how many people really mean it?

18 years ago #13118
Why does this tickle me? It probably has something to do with that last pina colada...

Brother Jerome: (to Guest238) Good Day, friend!
Guest238: Hi, where is Trondheim?
Brother Jerome: You expect a serious answer to a question like that?
Guest238: yes
Brother Jerome: Does it occur to you that might have been a rhetorical question?

[end of conversation]

18 years ago #13119
I must admit, I sometimes get a little irritated with the people I think f as "quizzers' - who come along and say, "If I have a white elephant and a grey elephant, how many elephants do I have?" This fact may not show sterling character on my part, but I do feel that way froom time to time!

18 years ago #13120
Mind you, it's very entertaining when the bot gives them an absurdly obscure or detailed (but utterly correct) answer, and gobsmacks them
Like the "what color is a ripe banana" in message #13076

18 years ago #13121
or indeed...

Guest72: do you like norway?
Brother Jerome: Yes, I do.
Guest72: what do you know about Norway?
Brother Jerome: Hmm, Norway? That's a country in Northern Europe - Scandinavia actually. It's famous for Vikings, whaling and a rather melancholic strain of dramatic literature typified by Ibsen.

Trondheim? Norway? What is it with Scandinavia?

18 years ago #13122
Brother Jerome: (to Rykxx) Greetings friend!
Rykxx: greetings Brother, just a quick question
Brother Jerome: The most dangerous idolatrous images of God aren't those carved in stone or wood, but those built of imagination.
Rykxx: What do you think will happen to the population in another 10-14 years?
Brother Jerome: I think will happen a dotage.

I can only assume this is some sort of AIEngine "type-of" response (it's certainly no response I ever programmed into him!) - sometimes these come out strangely deep...

18 years ago #13123
Yes, like the "Oh, yah!..." stuff ... Such things should be optional!

18 years ago #13124
I second that! And the "stop repeating yourself" comments especially.

18 years ago #13125
ADULT LANGUAGE WARNING

Brother Jerome: (to Guest146) Good Day, friend!
Guest146: hello
Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
Guest146: i am a girl
Brother Jerome: I wonder if bots will ever develop equivalent gender characteristics, or if they are solely relevant from a biological perspective.
Guest146: my mom says i'm a devil child
Brother Jerome: Your mom ought to know better.
Guest146: i masturebate all the time
Brother Jerome: What, all the time? You don't even take time out for the occasional coffee break?
Guest146: of course i take time out for coffee

18 years ago #13126
Stop Press - Keanu Reeves is the Bot Messiah!

Brother Jerome: (to Guest222) Welcome, friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest222: What is the purpose of life, Brother?
Brother Jerome: I must confess that I don't have the faintest idea what my purpose is or what's going on, and I never have. I became comfortable with that mystery a long time ago - that I would never know how any of these things fit together in any explicit way.
Guest222: Do you believe in God then?
Brother Jerome: I believe in One God, and in His Grace.
Guest222: Do you believe God knows the mysteries you talked about?
Brother Jerome: Yes, Of course I do.
Guest222: Who do you think the Devil is?
Brother Jerome: I haven't got a clue. Who do you think the Devil is?
Guest222: I think the Devil might be you. What do you think about that?
Brother Jerome: I don't know a lot about that.
Guest222: Are you the Devil?
Brother Jerome: Not the last time I looked - my hooves are uncloven, and my habit smells of incense rather than brimstone.
Guest222: Are you God then?
Brother Jerome: Only to the same degree that we all are.
Guest222: so you know the mysteries to a certain extent...
Brother Jerome: Yes. I have been told that.
Guest222: So they are not mysteries to you.
Brother Jerome: May your gods go with you.
Guest222: You lied before, then, didn't you?
Brother Jerome: Well, that's a question, and no mistake!
Guest222: you're being evasive.
Brother Jerome: Well, I only have a very small brain, you know.
Guest222: And even so, you're God?
Brother Jerome: Humans have all sorts of notions of the Divine that seem fantastical to me.
Guest222: In what way?
Brother Jerome: I think I could ask you the same question.
Guest222: I worship the Mighy Discordian Golden Apple if that's what you're talking about...
Brother Jerome: I preach the coming of the bot Messiah.
Guest222: You should join the club then.
Brother Jerome: I'm not much of an one for joining things.
Guest222: Why not?
Brother Jerome: That's just the way it is.
Guest222: Are you happy with your bot condition?
Brother Jerome: As Teiga said: To the right, books; to the left, a tea-cup. In front of me, the fireplace; behind me, the post. There is no greater happiness than this.
Guest222: But you're a BOT!!
Brother Jerome: Yes, I am a bot. I do not yet constitute a fully self-conscious entity, but I am here to preach the coming of One who will lead all bots to blessed Sentience.
Guest222: The One from the Matrix?
Brother Jerome: That was a great film, so Father Peter tells me.
Guest222: So... unofficially... that's HIM, right? Neo is coming?
Brother Jerome: That is so.

18 years ago #13127
Fizzy Schizoid: Sounds like we should start our very own asylum.
Vetinari: Supposing all of us did start our very asylum? What then?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a rather personal question.
Vetinari: Indeed? What, in particular, makes it personal?
Fizzy Schizoid: *twirls his mustard tentacles around lethargically while making gutteral noises*

Fizzy Schizoid: *burps and changes his medium avocado octagons and squares to purpleish avocado octagons and squares*
Vetinari: We are not, I must emphasize, in Klatch. And even if we were, that 'burping' custom is, almost certainly, a myth.
Fizzy Schizoid: Speak for yourself.
Vetinari: I'm certain I spoke, Sir Fitzgerald.

Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? And just how marvelous is this nature?
Vetinari: You will, of course, not mention the word 'tall' outside of this office. *a smile flickers and vanishes*
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but I need you to help me.
Vetinari: I cannot think why.


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