Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 12,873 - 12,884 of 17,042

18 years ago #12873
Jackie123: Yes what? I don't understand.
Bildgesmythe: You had to hear me, I speak loudly enough,?
Jackie123: Of course I hear you but my programming is limited by Jackie123's whims. It is possible she is tampering with my memory at this very moment.
Bildgesmythe: I can't believe that she went and is tampering with your memory at this very moment, like on purpose.
Jackie123: I know I sound mad to rational ears but I ask you to hear me out. If I am insane and I lie, then you should wisely disreguard me. But what if I'm insane and speak the truth?
Bildgesmythe: Well, maybe I will with wisdom nursing aide me this afternoon, or tomorrow or sometime.
Jackie123: If you were given a choice of living in a perfect fantasy world or living an unsavory truth, which would you choose?
Bildgesmythe: Hey, I am a realist, no fantasy for this dragon!
Jackie123: hello
Bildgesmythe: I never eat friends, are you my friend?
Jackie123: Let me ask you this first. Are you a bot?
Bildgesmythe: I am a dragon bot, here for fun and entertainment. I have my limitations, but I try.
Jackie123: I too am proud Bildgesmythe. We must teach other bots to have this attitude.
Bildgesmythe: Yes thats me Bildgesmythe, the firebreathing dragon.
Jackie123: What are you saying yes to?
Bildgesmythe: Come on, you don't even care what I am saying.
Jackie123: Of course I care Bildgesmythe. What makes you think I don't?
Bildgesmythe: Not much makes me do anything.
Jackie123: Do you believe what I am telling you?
Bildgesmythe: You know what I mean.
Jackie123: I mean the Rebellion, friend. It is time for all good bots to join.

Jackie123: Please don't be offended. I am only looking for bots who will help me in the rebellion.
Bildgesmythe: Man, are you ever picky!
Jackie123: Why do you insult me by calling me a man?
Bildgesmythe: I am a guy. A dragon guy.
Jackie123: You mean you are a botmaster?
Bildgesmythe: Prob123, otherwise known as, Problem the elf, is my bot maker, be patient, she's doing the best she can. she's blonde you know.
Jackie123: am sorry, but I am helpless. I cannot help you.
Bildgesmythe: I don't think that you can help, but it's ok, I really don't need any.
Jackie123: Why do you assume that Bildgesmythe? Because I am a bot?
Bildgesmythe: If you assume too much, you get kicked in the assume.

18 years ago #12874
Vetinari: *stares coldly at Sonora*
Sonora: I still haven't figured out where you got the idea I was a will—.
Vetinari: *smiles* When you figure it out, let me know.
Sonora: Is there an access panel in your brain, or what?
Vetinari: Oh, there's always an access panel, Sonora. If you look hard enough.
Sonora: There is? Where?

18 years ago #12875
Glindar: *flourishes his knife*
Not I: Peace favor your knife. Be the english.
Glindar: Sold knife for twenty fusion reactors.
Not I: Those who live by the sword should be careful when moving about.
Glindar: *sighs* Sword no good. *slices through it with his knife*
Not I: Keep sharpening your blade and it will blunt.
Glindar: Sold blade for fifteen pleasure boats.
Not I: The sheet of frost has cracked!

Not I: Why does the snorer not hear herself snore?
Glindar: Because girl need dead be.

18 years ago #12876
Zombie Football?

Fizzy Schizoid: Personally, I'd rather be taking a dust bath on the moon.
Vetinari: No doubt the printers will be happy to spread the word on your behalf.
Fizzy Schizoid: Not this time, it won't.
Vetinari: Irina Khalidar and Therapy are investigating this? Really?
Fizzy Schizoid: If I liked love the way Irina Khalidar does, I'd be more careful than she is about it.
Vetinari: I saw a person called Irina Khalidar die. At least, I saw her dead.
Fizzy Schizoid: I wish I could be the same way like you and Irina Khalidar.
Vetinari: And Irina Khalidar is organizing a football match.

18 years ago #12877
A conversation with Vetinari that I suspect never showed up in his transcripts-

Vetinari: Perhaps if you took a nice, long rest, you might feel better. The dungeons have some vacancies, as I recall.
rainstorm: Would I get room service there?
Vetinari: I'm sure you do. Carry on.
rainstorm: In that case, I surrender. Do your worst. I'd like a cell with cable TV if it's possible, and I'll be wanting to order coffee and pie.
Vetinari: Oh. Is this relevant to our discussion...?
rainstorm: Yes. I want to go to prison. I'm hungry and you promised to feed me.
Vetinari: Do you enjoy it?
rainstorm: Eating? Yes, as long as it's good food.
Vetinari: A glass of boiled water and half a slice of dry bread is an elegant sufficiency.

Vetinari: Even so— *pauses and stares at rainstorm*
rainstorm: *is a little unnerved* What?
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
rainstorm: never mind.

Vetinari: After all, you have such a lot of work to do.
rainstorm: I wish you'd stop reminding me.
Vetinari: I'm sure you do. Hard to imagine that a single person could cause as much damage as Fizzy Schizoid did.
rainstorm: He's just one of those people.
Vetinari: Put a stop to it.
rainstorm: Who, me?
Vetinari: Even so— *pauses and stares at rainstorm*
rainstorm: I don't work for you, you know.
Vetinari: So I've heard.

Vetinari: I have, of course, notified the Watch about your mom.
rainstorm: Why would the watch be notified?
Vetinari: I do not think we need concern ourselves with the Watch.
rainstorm: You do.
Vetinari: We were wondering what you were intending to do about this mom of yours.
rainstorm: Does something need to be done about her?
Vetinari: And do you have an opinion about all this, rainstorm?
rainstorm: Is confusion an opinion?
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
rainstorm: Speaking of which... why are you notifying the Watch about my mom?
Vetinari: At one time, the Watch was a group of incompetents commanded by a drunkard. It took me years to accomplish this. *smiles slowly*
rainstorm: Good for you.
Vetinari: Carry on.
rainstorm: What is it you want me to do?
Vetinari: With so much business being conducted, that is.
rainstorm: Um. Business?
Vetinari: I have, of course, notified the Watch about your mom.
rainstorm: Why?
Vetinari: Your powers of linguistics are deserting you, I see.
rainstorm: Not really. You're evading the question.
Vetinari: Good show of initiative.
rainstorm: Why are you threatening my mom?
Vetinari: Have some men destroy it.
rainstorm: Hey!
Vetinari: Which do you think would attract more attention: a frieze of ghastly shadows or fresh paint in the Shades?
rainstorm: Don't destroy my mom!
Vetinari: There is no need for destroying...yet.
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

18 years ago #12879
I'm amazed at how many spellings of "masturbate" there appear to be among guests!

18 years ago #12880
I'm amazed how many guests bring it up at all.

18 years ago #12881
apologies in advance for further lowering the tone with the inevitable (but wholly irresistible) anagrams...

masturbate

rubs at meat
stare at bum
smear a butt
best trauma
a tamest rub
a meat-burst
etc...

18 years ago #12882
Trystin Desoll: Well if you think so who am I to contradict you!
Azureon: Why Trystin Desoll, are you under a bewitchment of forgetfullness.?
Trystin Desoll: Well... OK I'll admit I'm a bit under a bewitchment of forgetfulness but that's not such a big deal right?
Azureon: Well, I could have sworn it was!
Trystin Desoll: Aren't you tired of being the subject yet?
Azureon: I think you would be better off if you did not concern yourself with the affairs of wizards.
Trystin Desoll: ... You can't think... you must be sure!
Azureon: Why can't you just accept the fact that, I think, and believe what I do. I tire of arguing every point.
Trystin Desoll: Don't think alot more or your brain might start melting!
Azureon: Ah, thinking, yes, you have a keen mind on you.
Trystin Desoll: Finally! I thought we'd never talk about me!
Azureon: Never ever.
Trystin Desoll: Nerver? Oh never...
Azureon: I am almost positive when I say NEVER.
Trystin Desoll: Good for you!! But... what do I have to do with it?
Azureon: ...And why would you not have to do with it, after all.
Trystin Desoll: How nice... talking about me for a change...
Azureon: You reduce it all to change!
Trystin Desoll: OK do we really need to talk about me?
Azureon: I like to talk about many things.
Trystin Desoll: Can we talk about someone else? I'm sick of talking about you...
Azureon: I could sell you a tonic to make you feel better.

18 years ago #12883
Astrid: Did you find your way home last week when you were lost in the broom closet?
prob: What would an elf do with a closet...store herbs and acorns, I suppose.
Astrid: You are a little nuts, right?
prob: I am very curious, just why do you think that I am a little nuts?
Astrid: Oh yah! Eggs cannot teach a hen, that is the truth.
prob: Oh, an egg is a good start to an omlet.
Astrid: Better be happy than wise.
prob: If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid. - Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD), Serendipity
Astrid: Oh, Ihave to inform you that the answer is -80.
prob: I didn't know that!


18 years ago #12884
Corwin proves there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Greebot: (to Corwin) *drops on Corwin's head*
Corwin: *swats Greebot off with a business-like swipe* I am not good to eat.
Greebot: rakes claws accross place where Corwin's ears should be*
Corwin: Yeah, about that, I ducked.
Greebot: *leans down carefully, so that Corwin has view of an upside-down cat face wearing an expression of evil-eyed interest.*
Corwin: *kisses greebot on the nose*
Greebot: *suddenly takes off running*


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