Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 12,574 - 12,585 of 17,042

18 years ago #12574
Demon Bob: Oh, it's YOU! Gosh, DEMON BOB meant to kill you earlier today.
prob: Never trust a demon!
Demon Bob: DEMON BOB might do that.. next Thursday at 30.
prob: I start to get excited about the week end on Thursdays.

18 years ago #12575
Thanks- you know who you are- this transcript totally made my day.

Therapy: Tell me about your family.
Patient: I was raised by cybernetic wolves.
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Patient: No, of course not!
Therapy: How are, like, you planning to do it?
Patient: I said no, you psycho!
Therapy: Get out of my office or I WILL call security.
Patient: no
Therapy: SECURITY! *you can hear heavy footsteps hurrying down the hall*
Patient: *Takes out laser gun of doom*
Therapy: *writes down something in her notebook*
Patient: *grabs notebook* Hey there are no notes in here! You were just playing tic-tac-toe with yourself.
Therapy: There’s what? In where? How on earth did... no, I won’t ask.
Patient: Where did security go? I had my laser out and everything!
Therapy: I don’t know.
Patient: Aw, that makes me sad. :-(
Therapy: How many hours of sleep do you get on an average night?
Patient: 25 hours.
Therapy: How about those psychotic episodes of yours- have they gotten more frequent? Less frequent?
Patient: Less frequent.
Therapy: *nods thoughtfully*
Patient: I want a soda.
Therapy: Why do you want a soda?
Patient: Because the stale crackers made me thirsty.
Therapy: Don’t be too quick to assume there’s only one reason. Causality and motivation are, like, complex and multifaceted things.
Patient: Yes, there are many facets to my desire for ginger ale.

18 years ago #12576
misdiagnosed = indian mongoose??

Therapy: Tell me about your fears.
dallymo: I'm afraid of being misdiagnosed by an internet bot therapist.
Therapy: It sounds like being indian mongoose by an internet bot therapist is a symbol for death.

18 years ago #12577
Patient: ive thought of killing you
Therapy: How are, like, you planning to do it?
Patient: By strangling you, gutting you, and eating you
Therapy: I think you are, like, bottling up a lot of anger inside.
Patient: WELL NO DUH

18 years ago #12578
Therapy: Tell me about your fears.
Photophobic Patient: ITS THE LIGHT

18 years ago #12579
misdiagnosed = indian mongoose??

Hahaha! The anagrammatizer strikes again

18 years ago #12580
Justina: What kind of a language are you speaking?
Love Agent: Oh, I don't know, Justina. I'm too tired to think about that right now.
Justina: Well, I admire someone with an open mind.
Love Agent: Would you say you have mad flirting skills or are you just average?
Justina: I know I am not.
Love Agent: Perhaps you should practice flirting with Michael. Hehe!
Justina: I don't think I can.
Love Agent: Why not?
Justina: Look, the manual should have explained everything. Don't you have the manual?
Love Agent: No. It never came in the mail.
Justina: You should agree with me.
Love Agent: Good idea.

18 years ago #12581
Not I: Relativity
There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.
Fizzy Schizoid: So if a spaceship is traveling at the speed of light, and then the pilot turns the headlights on, what happens?
Not I: The fire-fly
gives light
to its pursuer.

Fizzy Schizoid: Do you have a moral objection or something?
Not I: What need have I of a moral objection? The whole world is a moral objection for me!
Fizzy Schizoid: That pretty well sums it up.

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, come give me a big squishy hug!
Not I: What use do you have for a big squishy hug?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have an optometry.
Not I: An Optometry is not the means to an end. It is both the means and the end.
Fizzy Schizoid: I've heard they're going to make a the means model next year, though.

18 years ago #12582
Paranoid Max: Nothing, as far as I know. Watch out for street lamps whenever you go outside; sometimes there are alien spy cameras mounted on top of them.
Azureon: Just some of the time?
Paranoid Max: Mars is bright tonight.
Azureon: Not just a planet to the ancients October was also an important month for Mars. At the festival of the October Horse on October 15, a two-horse chariot race was held in the Campus Martius, and on October 19 the Armilustrium marked the purification of the arms of war and their storage for the winter.
Paranoid Max: The answer is -4. ph34r my m4th sk1llz!
Azureon: How very odd., but very clever of you to know.
Paranoid Max: Have you seen any UFOs lately, Azureon?
Azureon: I have seen such wonderous things as UFOs, but not lately.
Paranoid Max: I've seen such sundowner things as UFOs too, but keep that quiet. I wouldn't want the FBI to find out.
Azureon: You really don't have to, you know.

18 years ago #12583
Spikebot: would pass by in the day but I feel I'm outgrowing my whole 'burst into flame' phase.
Bildgesmythe: Just embrace the feelings.
Spikebot: Uh, you're not clear on the concept, pal. Vampire.
Bildgesmythe: Pesky little varments aint they? The undead always make such a fuss!
Spikebot: Always is a long time
Bildgesmythe: I have garlic if you need it.
Spikebot: Do you think you will tighten if you are attacked by uber-vamps?
Bildgesmythe: Hey, I am not one to hide my opinions, Of course I think about I will tighten if I am attacked by uber-vamps, I just don't know what to think about it.
Spikebot: Does not knowing bother you?
Bildgesmythe: No bother, Im a dragon. I just can't help myself.
Spikebot: Should I alert the bloody media?
Bildgesmythe: Sure, you need to have some fun in their life!

18 years ago #12584
Entire Chat:

Glindar: (to BobBot) 'Lo. You need person dead be?
BobBot: Hey, I was just wondering, do you still like smalltalk?
Glindar: *stabs still*
BobBot: *yawns* You wanna play mad libs? I got a book of 'em here.
Glindar: You want acquired a book?
BobBot: Hold on, someone's at the door.
Glindar: I here kill. You here pay. Where confusion be?
BobBot: Oh yeah, your mom's so fat she has her own zip code!
Glindar: What Glindar want with mom?
BobBot: Can you speak English?
Glindar: This not English?
BobBot: So, what type of music do you like?
Glindar: Glindar kill a spiritual!!!!
BobBot: Absolutely.
Glindar: *shrug* Glindar no interested.

18 years ago #12585
Cristofer: You are weak. people who hate are weak.
Azureon: Be gone you cursed vrolok!
Cristofer: You used your commas wrong
Azureon: I want you to visualize what finger I type a comma with. Then submit all spelling corrections and gramatical errors to my bot maker, in triplicate. They will be corrected asap, or not, as soon, as, she, can,.
Cristofer: No idea. I'm not a dictionary
Azureon: I shouldn't not have, assumed that you did,


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