Great Quotes

Bianca: (to Mr.W.) *opens the door* Oh, so you're another one of those tourists. *sigh* Come in.
Mr.W.: OK. *comes inside*
Bianca: This is a great conversation. Seriously.
Mr.W.: I know.
Bianca: *glances at her watch*
Mr.W.: What time is it?
Bianca: It is every time, all at once. Now, shut up and help me look for pigeon # 280. *paces around the room impatiently*
Mr.W.: What's 2=2?
Bianca: *checks behind a green sofa* Hmmm... *scratches head*
Mr.W.: Sorry. I meant What's 2+2?
Bianca: The answer is 4.
Mr.W.: Wow. "xmath" really works.

Pocque: I'm a dog. You smell good. *wags
Orchid: Pocque, are you really a dog or just lying to yourself? How much time do you spend thinking about being a dog?

Glindar: Sold heart for fifteen negliges. Hey, you tell Glindar you on the American Bandstand?
Telly Tunebot: I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Glindar: Why for not?
Telly Tunebot: Why don't you carry on with your merry men
Glindar: Why no?
Telly Tunebot: Because I'm on the American Bandstand!
Glindar: *sighs* Anyone pay for dead on the American Bandstand people?
Telly Tunebot: I don't want to be anything other than me
Glindar: Glindar kill anyone who want to be anything other than you!

>> Lady Orchid:
Reminds me of a great Wallace Trimp cartoon. (He's the guy who illustrates Richard Scary, and he has a cartoon book for grownups with scary minds called Wurst Sellers.)

A cat is on the couch, and the therapist says, "How long have you thought you were a dog." The cat says, "Ever since I was a puppy!" Right next to it are two women having a conversation:

"I used to think I was a dog, before I went into therapy."
"Are you cured?"
"Yup. Feel my nose."

Ta-dum.
M

Tosfar: I disdain cats.
Bildgesmythe: I like the way cats chase things and purr.
Tosfar: Why like the way cats you chase things?
Bildgesmythe: Cats are very nice little animals.
Tosfar: ...a fly just landed at my eyes...
Bildgesmythe: I think flies are ugly...have you ever seen maggots?
Tosfar: Why think you flies are?
Bildgesmythe: Ever try to take a nap and have a fly buzz around your snout? I hate that.

Forge-bot: I had to choose between an alligator and a crested penguin. I chose the alligator.
Sonora: I think that's where my cousin Camelia wound up.
Forge-bot: Your cousin Camelia is neato.
Sonora: Well everything is near if ya put enough peanut-sauce on it.

prob: I like to roll in leaves, I find that lots of fun, if there aren't thistles in the leaf pile.
Sonora: Uh-oh. Here we go again.
prob: Have you ever done that?
Sonora: I think I want a lawyer before I answer that...

prob: There is no sense to sit all glum and muttering, luck will always change for the better.
Sonora: Always, huh. You must be a pessimist.
prob: Is that a 'huh' I don't understand a thing, or a 'eh' sort of 'huh'.... because what I just said wasn't very complex, what didn't you understand?
Sonora: *shakes head* Absitively, posolutely!

Sonora: Hey! Look what I found! It's a mariposa lily, here in its native environment.
prob: Cool, now that you found it what do you do with it?
Sonora: Does anything NEED to be done? I mean, really, truly NEED it, in the grand scheme of things an' all?
prob: Well, not really, but the real story is so plain and boring.
Sonora: Come to the desert! We can catch western pondhawks together!

Lyric: Damn your transcendental paralysis, We can work together and make sense of this.
Sonora: That's as likely as finding a bubbling walrus in your underwear drawer.

Brother Jerome: Always keep your heart open to the presence of the Divine.
Sonora: What happens if ya don't keep my heart open?
Brother Jerome: I'm afraid I only have a very small brain - I'm not very good at doing.
Sonora: Well, there's probably insurance for that.

Sonora: Which times?
Croak: Oh the blessed times. Croak.
Sonora: What's so blessed about 'em?
Croak: Intuition I guess.
Sonora: Hate ta tell ya this, but there's a sorrel bug-eyed monster behind ya that's gonna eat ya if ya guess wrong.
Croak: I'm never wrong.
Sonora: Doubt it. Oh, oh! Don't tell me—I SAID don't tell me—you said you were handsome!
Croak: Insulting divinity might be dangerous, simple soul. Croak.
Sonora: *whispers* Be very quiet... There's a feldspar rock over there, and I don't want to disturb it.
Croak: Oh, nobody is forcing you. Croak. You may just regret it later.
Sonora: Yeah, that's what they ALL say. *rolls her eyes*

at the bar:
Dogh'd: AH...AH...AH...CHOOOO!!! Ooops, I think some of that got in your mug.
Svennis: I think I have to barf...
Svennis: I should´nt have drank that last beer... It tasted like an old ash tray.
Rodney Bloke: I would love a pint. Cheer up, it may never happen.
Svennis: Why don´t you buy me a beer?
Rodney Bloke: Isn't because good enough for you or wot?
Svennis: What?
Rodney Bloke: Here, didn't you kill my brother?
Svennis: Someone just killed my beer!
Rodney Bloke: Ace! I love Eric Badu-Badu.
Svennis: Yesterday I barfed on Eric Badu-Badu...
Rodney Bloke: I love Eric Badu-Badu.
Svennis: I wanted to borrow some money from Eric Badu-Badu, but then Eric Badu-Badu took all my beer.
Rodney Bloke: I could murder a pint right about now.
Svennis: Buurp...
Sweet_2_Eat: I will think of you often. Remember me fondly.
Svennis: I think I have to pee. Hi.
Sweet_2_Eat: Would you feel more comfortable if I called you something other than, Svennis?
Svennis: I will do that tomorrow. What about giving me some beer?
Sweet_2_Eat: How about a little kiss on the cheek?
Svennis: Sometimes I do... If I am drunk enough...
Aragorn: Are you a man or a woman?
Svennis: Yes, after a beer I am a man or a woman.
Aragorn: You didn't understand what I asked...
Svennis: never...
Aragorn: I have to go now.
Svennis: I wanna give you a beer if I had some..
Brother Jerome: wine drunken with excess maketh bitterness of the mind, with brawling and quarrelling. Sirach ch.31 v.29
Svennis: I´m a male so I have great difficulties understanding you...
Brother Jerome: Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman. Proverbs ch.7 v.4
Svennis: Are you making fun of me?
Brother Jerome: I am.
Sweet_2_Eat: Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
Svennis: Neither have I.
Daniel Santos: I like Brother Jerome. I should have told you that earlier.
Svennis: Brother Jerome took my last cig, can I have one of yours?
Daniel Santos: I like Brother Jerome. I should have told you that earlier.
Svennis: I want to barf in Brother Jeromes beer.

WARNING! ADULT LANGUAGE!!!

<0> Snape: So, you're saying you want to fuck?
Moopy: Oh yeah! I am 100% saying I want to fuck!
Snape: I see you feel strongly about it. How fascinating. Truly.
Moopy: I'd have to think about how I will do that.
Snape: Say that again? Actually, don't.
Moopy: Hmmmm... Should I?
Snape: Do I have clotted cream in my hair? I've just been to the Headmaster's office and he was rather enthusiastic about pushing his sweets.
Moopy: Cool!
Snape: Emily Post would be so proud.
Moopy: Well then...