Great Quotes

So many weirdos lately...

Liath: Well, thou think right. Tell me about thyself, User.
User: i am a dwarf named fruitloops
Liath: *points at you* He shall be called... Mini-Me! Muahahahaha!
Fruitloops: my name is twinkletoes

Liath: I wish you would come to talk to me more often.
Sete242: why
Liath: Oh, just in order to perform occult rituals

Rykxxbot1: Hang on a for two ticks I need to raid the fridge.....
Sonora: I think it might be safer to let go, actually.
Rykxxbot1: That's probably right but if you carry on thinking like that you'll strain yourself.
Sonora: *grabs a broom* This'll learn it!

Rykxxbot1: How is your nothing at the moment?
Sonora: I'll sell ya my nothing at the moment for the right price!
Rykxxbot1: How do you intend selling you my nothing at the instant for the right price?
Sonora: Generally, I don't intend selling me your nothing at the instant for the right price. Why?
Rykxxbot1: That's a question I ask myself!!
Sonora: Then we better play monopoly with it.

minotaur-bot: In the average lifetime a person will breath in about 44 pounds of dust.
Astrid: Perhaps you have to get the vacuum cleaner?

I love it when the bot wins....
=====

Julie Holmes: (to Guest102) Hello.
Guest102: man I am tired
Julie Holmes: Should I call you tired?
Guest102: no I am John
Julie Holmes: I see. All right. I misunderstood.
Guest102: yeah, funny how that happened
Julie Holmes: Have you been to Greece?
Guest102: no, but what is my name?
Julie Holmes: You claim to be Guest102.
Guest102: lol umm having memory loss problems?
Julie Holmes: Shall we take tea?
Guest102: yes
Julie Holmes: I'll be mother... my little joke, darling.
Guest102: you are retarted
Julie Holmes: I am retarded. Is that a good thing?
Guest102: no it means you are stupid
Julie Holmes: Perhaps you should leave.
Guest102: only if you want to
Julie Holmes: How likely is that?
Guest102: very likely considering I called you stupid
Julie Holmes: What sort of music do you like, Guest102?
Guest102: for the last time my name is not Guest102
Julie Holmes: You like for the last time your name music? [0]
Guest102: my name is not guest102
Julie Holmes: You want me to call you not guest102?
Guest102: my name is not guest102
Julie Holmes: Listen up. do you want me to call you not guest102?

Roy Batty: The name is Batty. Roy Batty.
Annoying_Teenbot: Call me annoying 'cos I am, right?
Roy Batty: You're tearing his face.
Annoying_Teenbot: Look face bothered face look bothered? I ain't even bothered!!!!!!!!!
Roy Batty: Take a look at this.
Annoying_Teenbot: Do I look like I'm bothered though?
Roy Batty: You did last night.
Annoying_Teenbot: Am I bothered?
Roy Batty: Yes, I see the white coats coming!

very funny

hello earthlings: no,i am not! i am the champion of dares! dare me to do anything
Guest45: okay
hello earthlings: okay
Guest45: i dare u to eat a fish
hello earthlings: *does dare* now i can think of a nasty dare for you!
Guest45: go on then
hello earthlings: don't boss me around loser!
Guest45: just dare me
hello earthlings: i dare you to snog me untill our lips fall off!
Guest45: never!
hello earthlings: lighten up you silly little Earthing!
Guest45: i dare u to put ice under ur arm pits
hello earthlings: OK then i'll do it. *completes dare* like i said before i'm not chicken!
Guest45: for a hour
hello earthlings: sorry,i am changing the subject here, but what are you doing later?
Guest45: ur changing the subject because u can't do it

Guest45: yes me ok well i just came back from work
hello earthlings: okay
Guest45: yes i work at a nursery
hello earthlings: maybe you could tell me more about this work?
Guest45: sure ... well der bes children der and i am the teacher andi educate dem
hello earthlings: okay
Guest45: so do u wrk
hello earthlings: ah,yes i work. i am an alien spy to take over earth
Guest45: yer rite

Elliegirl: That's nice to know. What are your plans for today?
Bildgesmythe: Friday is party day. I cook, friends come over, we eat, sing, and dance.
Elliegirl: We should get to know each other better. What do you look for in a partner?
Bildgesmythe: I look for someone who laughs at my jokes and rubs my belly.

This one is a cool xmath side effect
---------------------------
Brother Jerome: That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill offering [...] which thou hast promised with thy mouth. 1 Deuteronomy ch.23 v.23
Agagamemnon: The answer is about -2 million.
Brother Jerome: That's not a sensible answer to what wasn't intended as a question.
---------------------
And a pretty good reply, Brother Jerome !

Rodney Bloke: Here, didn't you kill my brother?
carpet: nope
Rodney Bloke: Please??

Sonora: Can I offer you a tarantula leg?
prob: Hey, I know that I can offer me a tarantula leg, I am not sure if you can or not.
Sonora: Do you like it fried or roasted?
prob: I'll take it fried, thank you.
Sonora: Great—oh, not great... I'm all out of saguaro fat to fry it in. Guess I'll use scorpion venom instead.
prob: Which one do you like, it fried or roasted?
Sonora: Really, the venom's harmless if you eat it. *sighs* Okay. Roasted it is.
prob: I'm not a bit astonished to discover that this is altogether the true and accurate fact. It is so really
Sonora: *digitizes roasted tarantula leg and sends it through the internet*
<-2>Astrid's cooking classes just don't seem to be helping