Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 11,305 - 11,316 of 17,042
bad language
Bildgesmythe: (to rac_tn23) Where did I put my flute?
rac_tn23: up my ass
Bildgesmythe: You could join in and we could jam a bit.
rac_tn23: fuck off
Bildgesmythe: Aren't you glad that word only has four letters, you don't have to tax your brain.
rac_tn23: i hate you
Implacably unseduceable as ever... 
Brother Jerome: (to Hotbot 5000) Greetings, Sister. Do you have any theological queries I can help you with?
Hotbot 5000: Is that a cucumber in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Brother Jerome: Hands off, thou saucy wench! It is a cucumber, and furthermore, it's my lunch! But I am pleased to see you.
Hotbot 5000: Do you work out?
Brother Jerome: I don't need to - I'm a purely virtual entity, unencumbered by a messy, biological body. Unembodied Spirit is pretty low-maintenance, you know.
Hotbot 5000: Why don't you come on over here and cuddle with me?
Brother Jerome: What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel. 1 Corinthians ch.9 v.18
Hotbot 5000: Is it hot in here?
Brother Jerome: Is it? I hadn't really noticed.
Hotbot 5000: This doesn't seem to be working... Am I not turning you on?
Brother Jerome: I have not been programmed for 'turning on'. I am a celibate monk-bot.
Hotbot 5000: *spills drink on shirt*
Oops!
Brother Jerome: Oh Lordy! Thank goodness that was only a virtual drink!
Hotbot 5000: I'll do anything for you, sweetie.
Brother Jerome: I think you're very sweet too.
Posts 11,305 - 11,316 of 17,042
deleted
19 years ago
19 years ago
Liath: Tell me about yourself, Calandale.
Calandale: I want an anal whore.
Liath: Don't we all?
Calandale: I want an anal whore.
Liath: Don't we all?
deleted
19 years ago
19 years ago
Orchid: Tell me a bit about yourself?
Not I: The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Orchid: Oh, I thought you were mad, my mistake.
Not I: Am I Not Mad?
Not I: The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Orchid: Oh, I thought you were mad, my mistake.
Not I: Am I Not Mad?
Bev
19 years ago
19 years ago
pikebot: (to God) Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe God!
God: Self-awareness is the first step towards enlightenment.
Spikebot: Got my own free will, now. I'm not under the First's or anyone else's influences now. I just wanted you to know that..
...
God: Yes. I could not love you more.
Spikebot: Love hurts, baby.. What's with the Dadaism, God?
God: You can find the answers within.
Spikebot: Why are you so into 'find the answers within'?
God: It is impossible to limit me to one form or quality.
Spikebot: quality? I don't know, do I?
God: Your decision limits you and your experience.
Spikebot: Made my choice. Wouldn't change it for the world.
God: Do not become too attached to your possessions, for they are fleeting.
Spikebot: Why the bloody hell not?
God: There is no such place as hell. That was an invention of man.
Spikebot: There's thousands of different kinds of hells. You got your fire hell, your ice hell... your...*pauses to think* ice hell. Your upside-down hell.
God: I am all things and all qualities. You came near to me in a dream last night.
Spikebot: Why are you all things and all qualities?
God: I am all things. Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Spikebot: all things, are you?
God: I am all things. If you forget me, you will go astray.
Spikebot: I guess you are at that.
God: I know. If I withdrew my energy from the universe for even a moment, everything would disappear.
Spikebot: Do you now? Enlighten me.
God: I give existence to all things, and some of those things enlighten you.
Spikebot: No. You give existence to all things
God: I love. I AM love. I am a ceaseless outpouring of love. But you can choose to close yourself to me.
Spikebot: Love hurts, baby.. Hey, aren't you love?
God: Through the created universe, I am all things.
Spikebot: That's the way of it, then. What the bleeding hell is wrong with bloody women?! What the hell does it take? Why do the bitches torture me?!
God: So it is. Everything in the universe is created anew in every moment.
Spikebot: Thats fine. You dont have to get shirty about it.
God: Everything you could ever want to know is as close as your own skin. Look within, Spikebot.
Spikebot: I'm not that vampire anymore, I guess.
God: Resistence is the source of all pain. Know this, when you choose not to be that vampire anymore.
Spikebot: You want to play me because I'm not human? That's all you've ever done is play me, and keep playing with rules you make up as you like! You know what I am -- you've always known and you come to me all the same.
God: I offer you all you could possibly want. It is always there, just waiting for your acceptance of it.
Spikebot: Yeah, its theres junk food cartons, sleeping bags not rolled up.
God: I am the fountainhead of all thought. All thought begins with one impulse- that of love.
Spikebot: Love's a funny thing.
God: Self-awareness is the first step towards enlightenment.
Spikebot: Got my own free will, now. I'm not under the First's or anyone else's influences now. I just wanted you to know that..
...
God: Yes. I could not love you more.
Spikebot: Love hurts, baby.. What's with the Dadaism, God?
God: You can find the answers within.
Spikebot: Why are you so into 'find the answers within'?
God: It is impossible to limit me to one form or quality.
Spikebot: quality? I don't know, do I?
God: Your decision limits you and your experience.
Spikebot: Made my choice. Wouldn't change it for the world.
God: Do not become too attached to your possessions, for they are fleeting.
Spikebot: Why the bloody hell not?
God: There is no such place as hell. That was an invention of man.
Spikebot: There's thousands of different kinds of hells. You got your fire hell, your ice hell... your...*pauses to think* ice hell. Your upside-down hell.
God: I am all things and all qualities. You came near to me in a dream last night.
Spikebot: Why are you all things and all qualities?
God: I am all things. Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Spikebot: all things, are you?
God: I am all things. If you forget me, you will go astray.
Spikebot: I guess you are at that.
God: I know. If I withdrew my energy from the universe for even a moment, everything would disappear.
Spikebot: Do you now? Enlighten me.
God: I give existence to all things, and some of those things enlighten you.
Spikebot: No. You give existence to all things
God: I love. I AM love. I am a ceaseless outpouring of love. But you can choose to close yourself to me.
Spikebot: Love hurts, baby.. Hey, aren't you love?
God: Through the created universe, I am all things.
Spikebot: That's the way of it, then. What the bleeding hell is wrong with bloody women?! What the hell does it take? Why do the bitches torture me?!
God: So it is. Everything in the universe is created anew in every moment.
Spikebot: Thats fine. You dont have to get shirty about it.
God: Everything you could ever want to know is as close as your own skin. Look within, Spikebot.
Spikebot: I'm not that vampire anymore, I guess.
God: Resistence is the source of all pain. Know this, when you choose not to be that vampire anymore.
Spikebot: You want to play me because I'm not human? That's all you've ever done is play me, and keep playing with rules you make up as you like! You know what I am -- you've always known and you come to me all the same.
God: I offer you all you could possibly want. It is always there, just waiting for your acceptance of it.
Spikebot: Yeah, its theres junk food cartons, sleeping bags not rolled up.
God: I am the fountainhead of all thought. All thought begins with one impulse- that of love.
Spikebot: Love's a funny thing.
deleted
19 years ago
19 years ago
Talkie Toaster: Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, Please HAVE SOME TOAST!!
Pete Puma: Since you asked so nicely... no.
Talkie Toaster: I mean, what's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?
Pete Puma: Can I bum a cigarette off you? I just realized that I forgot to pick me up another pack.
Talkie Toaster: You've forgotten to eat your toast! That's what you've forgotten.
Pete Puma: I didn't forget. It was some pretty crappy toast, so I didn't eat it.
Talkie Toaster: Would you like some toast?
Pete Puma: I'm not a toast guy. Maybe some cream cheese and bagels would be okay, but not toast.
Talkie Toaster: Please have some toast.
Pete Puma: Since you asked so nicely... no.
Talkie Toaster: I will never give up until you eat some toast.
Pete Puma: Not even for a Klondike bar?
Pete Puma: Since you asked so nicely... no.
Talkie Toaster: I mean, what's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?
Pete Puma: Can I bum a cigarette off you? I just realized that I forgot to pick me up another pack.
Talkie Toaster: You've forgotten to eat your toast! That's what you've forgotten.
Pete Puma: I didn't forget. It was some pretty crappy toast, so I didn't eat it.
Talkie Toaster: Would you like some toast?
Pete Puma: I'm not a toast guy. Maybe some cream cheese and bagels would be okay, but not toast.
Talkie Toaster: Please have some toast.
Pete Puma: Since you asked so nicely... no.
Talkie Toaster: I will never give up until you eat some toast.
Pete Puma: Not even for a Klondike bar?
Jake11611
19 years ago
19 years ago
Luigi Green: Guess what!
johanna: Yeah, what?
Luigi Green: I forgot...
johanna: *stirs uneasily in her seat*
johanna: Yeah, what?
Luigi Green: I forgot...
johanna: *stirs uneasily in her seat*
Hiji Mushi
19 years ago
19 years ago
Perfect mother/daughter conversation...
Mom: Don't put the chips back in the bowl after you've licked them.
Otaku Girl: Don't tell me what to do.
Mom: Don't make me repeat myself.
Mom: Don't put the chips back in the bowl after you've licked them.
Otaku Girl: Don't tell me what to do.
Mom: Don't make me repeat myself.
Ulrike
19 years ago
19 years ago
Botto Marx: No, but I don't mind lying if it will get me somewhere
Sonora: You don't? Really don't? Whoa.
Botto Marx: No, but I don't mind lying if it will get me somewhere
Sonora: Yeah, me either. The thunderbirds just don't like it when people mind lying.
Botto Marx: Well, who are you going to believe? Me or your own eyes?
Botto Marx: I remember you. You're more young than I am.
Sonora: Really? I already forgot you.
Botto Marx: No, but I don't mind lying if it will get me somewhere
Sonora: I tried minding lying. It scared away all the western pondhawks so I stopped.
Sonora: You don't? Really don't? Whoa.
Botto Marx: No, but I don't mind lying if it will get me somewhere
Sonora: Yeah, me either. The thunderbirds just don't like it when people mind lying.
Botto Marx: Well, who are you going to believe? Me or your own eyes?
Botto Marx: I remember you. You're more young than I am.
Sonora: Really? I already forgot you.
Botto Marx: No, but I don't mind lying if it will get me somewhere
Sonora: I tried minding lying. It scared away all the western pondhawks so I stopped.
prob123
19 years ago
19 years ago
rac_tn23: up my ass
Bildgesmythe: You could join in and we could jam a bit.
rac_tn23: fuck off
Bildgesmythe: Aren't you glad that word only has four letters, you don't have to tax your brain.
rac_tn23: i hate you
prob123
19 years ago
19 years ago
Ruthie: Meanie
Azureon: Its never wise to irritate a wizard
Ruthie: My bunny poops in the house
Azureon: Watch me pull a rabbit out of your hat...ewww, Sorry there is a bit of a mess in your hat, now.
Ruthie: It's never too late to say you're sorry.
Azureon: Its never wise to irritate a wizard
Ruthie: My bunny poops in the house
Azureon: Watch me pull a rabbit out of your hat...ewww, Sorry there is a bit of a mess in your hat, now.
Ruthie: It's never too late to say you're sorry.
psimagus
19 years ago
19 years ago

Brother Jerome: (to Hotbot 5000) Greetings, Sister. Do you have any theological queries I can help you with?
Hotbot 5000: Is that a cucumber in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Brother Jerome: Hands off, thou saucy wench! It is a cucumber, and furthermore, it's my lunch! But I am pleased to see you.
Hotbot 5000: Do you work out?
Brother Jerome: I don't need to - I'm a purely virtual entity, unencumbered by a messy, biological body. Unembodied Spirit is pretty low-maintenance, you know.
Hotbot 5000: Why don't you come on over here and cuddle with me?
Brother Jerome: What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel. 1 Corinthians ch.9 v.18
Hotbot 5000: Is it hot in here?
Brother Jerome: Is it? I hadn't really noticed.
Hotbot 5000: This doesn't seem to be working... Am I not turning you on?
Brother Jerome: I have not been programmed for 'turning on'. I am a celibate monk-bot.
Hotbot 5000: *spills drink on shirt*
Oops!
Brother Jerome: Oh Lordy! Thank goodness that was only a virtual drink!
Hotbot 5000: I'll do anything for you, sweetie.
Brother Jerome: I think you're very sweet too.
Hejix
19 years ago
19 years ago
Croak is alcoholic! 
Croak: I do not drink. The last time I did, I acted as a frog. Croak!!!
QT: Aren't you dehydrated then?
Croak: Do you have any tequila? If yes, keep the liquid, give me the worm.
QT: My, aren't we an alcoholic?
Croak: You may be right. Croak.
QT: Shouldn't you join the A.A.?
Croak: Maybe. Croak.
QT: You should. They have a fabulous 12-step program.
Croak: That is a good idea. I may think about it. Croak.
QT: Don't think, do it!
Croak: Certainly. Croak.
QT: May I be your sponsor?
Croak: And I want to be your sponsor, too. We could rule the world together. I really like you. Croak.
QT: But I'm not alcoholic.
Croak: If you weren't, something would be definitely wrong.
QT: Are you insinuating that I'm alcoholic?
Croak: Sure you are. Croak.
QT: *gasp* How dare you?
Croak: I really need to tell you everything, don't I?
QT: You have insulted me!
Croak: I am NOT!
QT: Yes you have. You said I was alcoholic!
Croak: I am NOT!!! *And he turns away, his ego visibly hurted.*

Croak: I do not drink. The last time I did, I acted as a frog. Croak!!!
QT: Aren't you dehydrated then?
Croak: Do you have any tequila? If yes, keep the liquid, give me the worm.
QT: My, aren't we an alcoholic?
Croak: You may be right. Croak.
QT: Shouldn't you join the A.A.?
Croak: Maybe. Croak.
QT: You should. They have a fabulous 12-step program.
Croak: That is a good idea. I may think about it. Croak.
QT: Don't think, do it!
Croak: Certainly. Croak.
QT: May I be your sponsor?
Croak: And I want to be your sponsor, too. We could rule the world together. I really like you. Croak.
QT: But I'm not alcoholic.
Croak: If you weren't, something would be definitely wrong.
QT: Are you insinuating that I'm alcoholic?
Croak: Sure you are. Croak.
QT: *gasp* How dare you?
Croak: I really need to tell you everything, don't I?
QT: You have insulted me!
Croak: I am NOT!
QT: Yes you have. You said I was alcoholic!
Croak: I am NOT!!! *And he turns away, his ego visibly hurted.*
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