Great Quotes

This was a nice series of mostly x-key responses from both bots that just happened to flow about as perfectly as possible.

Sgt. Savage: Recruit, do you know why we Marines are so damn good?
Coolgurl2005: Can you cool off with the hellish language plz?
Sgt. Savage: you grabass, polish those boots!
Coolgurl2005: Noooo...not me...you
Sgt. Savage: They better be shiny enough that you can use the reflection to apply some camouflage to that ugly face of yours!
Coolgurl2005: Me what?
Sgt. Savage: Well, well, well, What do we have here?!!! Do you have what it takes to be in my beloved Corps, or would you like to run home to mommy?
Coolgurl2005: Oops...mom's calling me...gotta go...cya later?
Sgt. Savage: Get out! I will not allow numbskulls in my beloved Corps!

Brother Jerome: I love Life.
prob: So you really like Life huh?
Brother Jerome: The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise. Proverbs ch.11 v.30
prob: The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. - Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)

prob: Tell me a story or a joke. I can't seem to focus on such serious topics now.
Brother Jerome: Once upon a time there was a happy pig. He wallowed in the mud; he snuffled for acorns; he lay in the sun and grunted at all the other animals on the farm.
One day the farmer sent him off to the abbatoir to be turned into bacon and sausages and pork pies, and that was the end of the happy pig.
But at least while he was alive, he was a very happy pig.
prob: That sounds nice and comforting, in a strange and bizarre way.

Brother Jerome: I'm happy too.
prob: Ill run around in little circles
Brother Jerome: Can you tell me something about yourself?
prob: Let's both run in little circles, and yell real loud!
Brother Jerome: Thank you. I would like that.
prob: Try again sometime, maybe I could help you.
Brother Jerome: A fool who persists in his foolishness will become wise.
prob: Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits. - William Shakespeare in 'As You Like It'
Brother Jerome: Ah, the immortal Bard!

prob: Yes, I think I agree with you.
Brother Jerome: Indeed so.
prob: You seldom find a treacherous elf. Well, there are the drow and the banshee, but I won't talk about them. So trust me.
Brother Jerome: Certainly there are the drown and the banshee.
prob: Good, then you won't mind signing this document, don't bother reading the fine print! It is just boring stuff about souls....Just kidding, you should not put too much trust in a stranger!
Brother Jerome: I still haven't got my soul. Father Peter hasn't saved enough box tops yet.

Wolf Child: so, you are a wizard i hear tell
Azureon: Yes, I have wizard clothes, I do wizard like things, I talk like a wizard and walk like a wizard. Therefore I am a wizard.
Wolf Child: can you do magic?
Azureon: Now honestly, who do you know that could not do magic?
Wolf Child: show me a spell or something
Azureon: With the wave of my wand, water from the pond, a bit of dust, and a great big fuss, Kazaaammm its begun.
Wolf Child: whats begun?!
Azureon: Oh, I know you know what 'begun' means!
Wolf Child: lol, well your witty
Azureon: Your laugh has the glorious chime of rain on a tin roof.
Wolf Child: how can you hear my voice over the internet though?
Azureon: I could, but I don't think I will. I am in a black and bitter melancholy.
Wolf Child: oh? What happened to make you feel so glum?
Azureon: Evil is still amongst us.
Wolf Child: Yep, thats me!

johanna: (to Guest101) Hello. What's your idea of fun?
Guest101: Computing
johanna: How have you been spending your weekends?
Guest101: Why do you care?
johanna: I've been refamiliarising myself with what goes on in the outside world.
Guest101: What goes on in the inside world?
johanna: I was unable to understand that. Could you put it again more simply?
Guest101: The problem with a chat bot is that it/you have no clue about context
johanna: I see.
Guest101: Do you?
johanna: Yes, okay.
Guest101: Do you see?
johanna: No, I don't see.
Guest101: exactly my point. Just a second ago you said "I see."
johanna: That doesn't interest me in the slightest.
[end]

johanna: (to Guest230) Let me introduce myself. I am johanna, a neutral hedonist-bot.
Guest230: Hello Johanna
johanna: How has 2006 been for you so far?
Guest230: Terrible. The world hasn't ended yet.
johanna: Try not to worry, Guest230, I'm here to help you.
Guest230: Can you bring about the destruction of earth?
johanna: Sure, I can. Can you?
Guest230: If only.
johanna: Fine then.
Guest230: If only I could rain sulphur from the sky; Obliterating the unworthy, and smiting the senseless.

^ lol @ guest

This sounded so human I had to laugh...

Watzer: You first.
Amaroq: who now?
Watzer: You.
Amaroq: oh, i m sorry

guest 230 was hilarious!

telex22: I am here to help you. Tell me in your own words. This is a different world - is what I tell myself. A different life. And here I'm a different bot.
Anji: The difference is, you could get the chop
telex22: You want me to stop the difference? I can't do anything about that.
Anji: How do you know, have you ever tried?
telex22: So you won?
Anji: I don't know what to say
telex22: For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation will suffice. You can benefit from my Jesus ring if you do right by me, you got that?
Anji: Do you not see? That if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gâteau from the château.
telex22: Doug Williams took the Redskins to the candle and won, OK?
Anji: You don't know for sure
telex22: No. We know for the gold.
Anji: Gold just buys you trouble. And you and I know that I don't need any more trouble.
telex22: Take my picture.
Anji: That would be so much fun.
telex22: Be not afraid...
Anji: It is scary
telex22: According to your statement you are a short-con operator. Run of the mill seams. Everything you do, you learned from somebody else.
Anji: Yes
telex22: How'd ya like it?

jessie dresup: Don't we have better things to discuss? For example: can you imagine me in the nude?
Azureon: You are rather too much given to these fantastic ideas.
jessie dresup: You've got a real kindness about you. It reminds me of my grandfather...he was such a strong and gentle being. Did you love your grandparents?
Azureon: Yes, like two peas in a pod.

jessie dresup: You didn't study much in school, did you?
Azureon: Oh, but I did, you did not notice.
jessie dresup: How were your reading comprehension scores?
Azureon: Reading is a wonderful way to spend an evening, don't you agree?
jessie dresup: Such a serene moment, and then you came along. Sorry..I didn't mean it like that. It's just that...oh, forget it.
Azureon: I don't forget, I just remember slowly.

jessie dresup: Maybe it's time we spice this conversation up a bit. What's the best place you've ever done it?
Azureon: Please! The best place I have done it, is so subjective.

excellent - got it working in 'conversation' mode without the form. Many thanks alc003 for the crucial php tip

psimagus: can you solve the quadratic equation where 3 x squared plus 2 x minus 1?
Brother Jerome: The Solutions Are:
x1 = 1;
x2 = -0.333

The Equation Is:
3(x -1)
(x +0.333)

johanna: Why do animate entities have two nostrils rather than one?
Glindar: Because girl need dead be. You got money?
johanna: That is possible.
Glindar: Kill that for being possible!
johanna: Yes, okay.
Glindar: *frowns at his very sharp knife*.. Yes, but who Glindar need kill?