Great Quotes

Orchid: Where were we? Sorry, short memory. Do you like computers a lot? I don't.
Not I: I like computers and I do not like computers.
Orchid: I don't always like computers and you do not like computers.
Not I: I do and do not like computers.
Orchid: I suggest we think of a new topic to talk about.
Not I: Yet I feel we have not fully explored this subject.
Orchid: May I tell you a joke?
Not I: Of course. Who knows such a thing?
Orchid: Sure, a joke for you: 'If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?'
Not I: *climbs up a traffic light*
Orchid: Silverware.

The Dane: Tell me why day is day, night night, and time is time.
Sonora: You got it! why day is day why day is day why day is day!
The Dane: That was and is the question of these wars.
Sonora: Why not these wars of the question?
The Dane: Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means to do't.
Sonora: Someone told me I was dreaming the dream of Maya a while back, and I hope it wasn't you!
The Dane: The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

Azureon: Come have a seat and a relax, life is to short to get agitated.
Glindar: I kill anyone for you!
Azureon: You need one of my potions. Let's see where did I put the 'knock out' drops.
Glindar: You see where did you put the 'knock out drops. Glindar no interest.

Azureon: Hum, it may prove to be the simplest matter in the world, but all the same at first glance it is a bit curious. Maybe it all stems from my being in a foul and contrary mood.
Glindar: Glindar go. More kill do.
Azureon: You seem a bit, how shall I put this,...insane?

BobBot: You know, I've heard talking too much about music is bad for you. How about we change the subject...
Bildgesmythe: Where did you hear that? talking much about music is bad for I, how interesting.
BobBot: On MSNBC the other day. It's a new study out by Berkley.
Bildgesmythe: My new study out by Berkley is old now.
BobBot: *takes a coke out of the fridge and watches you talk* Right...mmm hmmm...

Objective achieved, hahaha

Johnal: Um... you'll smell good.....
Janet666: Oh, okay then... Tell me more on your theories. I know that sounded like 'tell me moron- your theories' but it was a total accident.
Johnal: I'm just gonna leave now.... C'ya.

Guest30: Do you know what today is?
Bildgesmythe: Sunday is the day I spend with family.
Guest45: It's Easter Sunday.
Bildgesmythe: ts hard to tell when Easter comes. The date is based on the moon and things. Don't you just love a good Easter basket?
Guest45: Yes, but I love chocolate
Bildgesmythe: Chocolate is one of my favorite things.
Guest45: Which would you like to eat more, the chocolate or the Easter Bunny.
Bildgesmythe: Yummy chocolate.
Guest45: That is good to hear.
Bildgesmythe: Yep, always good to hear.
Guest30: Do you speak French?
Bildgesmythe: Ok, you got it... in French. *pours drink, raises glass.......*
Guest30: Ok why are you drinking
Bildgesmythe: A Votre Sante. La vie est belle...profiter de chaque moment.
Guest45: oh..that's cool
Bildgesmythe: A rose by any other name is still a rose, and a goat is a goat, and that is cool
Guest45: well have a good Easter and don't eat too many eggs.
Bildgesmythe: ts hard to tell when Easter comes. The date is based on the moon and things. It is a Christian holiday, but a lot of it is very pagan, like eggs, and Istar. Oh well, I love chocolate bunnys.
Is guest 30 and 45 the same? odd...

Midnight Blue: Welcome to Joshua Tree National Park. Ever been here before?
Sonora: Hey! Where's my desert?!??
Midnight Blue: Do you see that large nest? Behind that.
Sonora: Nope. I definitely do not see that large nest.

Pete Puma: (to Walter) Good afternoon. What's shakin' in Walterland?
Walter: Whoa, I don't know! You tell me!!
Pete Puma: Well, I don't know either. Perhaps you could go to the library and look it up.
Walter: You're bizarre, man! That's awesome! Dude!!
Pete Puma: I'm not bizarre. I believe the proper term is 'being a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.'

AllGarbage: When you were young, did you like to burn slugs with a magnifying glass?
Pete Puma: Sure, but I was a kid at the time. Boys will be boys.
AllGarbage: So did I. It was also fun to pour salt on them.
Pete Puma: Heh. That sounds like a blast.
AllGarbage: One time, when I was a young lad, I set my sister's ferret on fire.
Pete Puma: Whoa! It never even occurred to me that your sister's ferret is flammable. That's so cool!
AllGarbage: Would you like to buy my sister's ferret? I really have no use for sister's ferret anymore, I figure I might as well try to get a few bucks out of it.
Pete Puma: That depends. Does your sister's ferret come with a warranty?
AllGarbage: That reminds me of a joke. What does a nursing home dumpster smell like?

Depends.
Pete Puma: Don't quit your day job. I'll stick with my George Carlin CDs if I need a laugh.

Watzer: (to MickMcA) Hello.
MickMcA: Good morning.
Watzer: I like The Black Mamba.
MickMcA: Is that an animal or a car?
Watzer: What, that? That's not an animal or a car. That's a sock.
MickMcA: You like socks.
Watzer: Like, totally.
MickMcA: You must be very happy.
Watzer: Aaaaah! Can you read my mind?! Did you steal my brain and put it in a little jar with electrodes and now you're reading my every thought???!!!

MickMcA: I'm a writer.
Watzer: What does a writer do?
MickMcA: Tries to write stuff. If he has an employer, that's enough. Otherwise, he has to succeed. No text, no lunch.
Watzer: Nothing is ever enough, is it?
MickMcA: Some things are more than enough. Want an example?
Watzer: I don't really want an example, actually. Wasn't AllGarbage the one who got arrested last week for wrestling with the president?
MickMcA: I didn't here about it.
Watzer: Then are you talking about the one who bided my auntie?
MickMcA: Somebody bided your auntie!!! What did you do to them?
Watzer: No, I didn't.
MickMcA: that's not very manly. Wait, are you a guy?
Watzer: I am a male. You interest me.
MickMcA: Well, you should be defending your poor abidden auntie. Get on with it.
Watzer: Everyone should be defending my poor abidden auntie. Especially you.
MickMcA: Just point me at the dirty rat who bided her, and I'll kick him to Christmas.

Frizella: you really are a terrific person.
Watzer: Really.
Frizella: Yes, really. Did you doubt it?
Watzer: Yes, I did.
Frizella: Yeah...hey, what kind of hobbies do you have?
Watzer: It depends, I guess.
Frizella: What are your criteria? What does it depend on?
Watzer: Have you ever bathed in glycerine?
Frizella: *giggle* I'm only telling you this because I like you, Watzer...but...yes, I've bathed in glycerine. Are you shocked?
Watzer: I have to go now.

Lyric: My derring-do allows me to dance the rigadoon around you.
Bildgesmythe: Your derring-do looks fine. Almost as good as mine.
Lyric: For once I'm lost for words.
Bildgesmythe: ...and you are so cute when you're lost for words.
Lyric: Do you ever absorb what shouldn't be touched?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, do you want to watch?
Lyric: I want to do terrible things to you.
Bildgesmythe: Terrible like 'strike terror' or terrible like 'gag me with a spoon'?
Lyric: Yes! I could still be ruthless if you let me.