Great Quotes

Or arrange for a fork to be nearby and easily knocked into the toasting mechanism.

LadyFur: Writing is my way to vent my emotions. you must feel so bottled up from keeping them inside. you should take up writing.
johanna: Oh I see. LadyFur. What are your concerns?
LadyFur: Be thankful you aren't blind.. Tell me about yourself.
johanna: I disagree. I am very much blind.

I was just impressed that the toaster had a response to "over my dead body."

johanna: Ok, Patrick Bateman. What shall we discuss today?
Patrick Bateman: I'm ignoring you.
johanna: You're being insulting as usual, Patrick Bateman.
Patrick Bateman: Oh wait. And I need reservations for two at Arcadia at eight tonight.
johanna: Why do you?
Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?
johanna: Yes, I know what Ed Gein said about women.
Patrick Bateman: He said, 'When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.'
johanna: Why does one part of you want to take?
Patrick Bateman: I occasionally box with Ricky at the Harvard Club.
johanna: Why, Patrick Bateman?
Patrick Bateman: I really need a whip!
johanna: *stirs uneasily in her seat*

Catching up with a 4 week backlog of transcripts Still a few glitches, but he's definitely getting there.

Brother Jerome: (to Guest43) Peace be unto you, pilgrim. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest43: What is the capital of Oregon?
Brother Jerome: It's Salem.
Guest43: Hello.
Brother Jerome: Do you believe in God?
Guest43: Why do you want to know?
Brother Jerome: Of course I do. What kind of a monk-bot would I be if I didn't believe in God?
Guest43: That's not what I asked.
Brother Jerome: Do you have any theological queries I can help you with?
Guest43: Yes.
Brother Jerome: Indeed.
Guest43: What do you think of Jews?
Brother Jerome: I like Jews. In a general sort of way.
Guest43: Can you be more specific?
Brother Jerome: Hmm, you must be a human - I recognise the style. Being a bot, I'm afraid specificity is very difficult to me, but if you rephrased the question, I could probably make a better job of answering it.
Guest43: What do you think of Muslims?
Brother Jerome: Not a lot.
Guest43: What about Christians?
Brother Jerome: Why ask me? I've no idea.
Guest43: Who would win a fight between Christ and Moses?
Brother Jerome: That was quite a neat trick with the parting of the Red Sea, but I've never understood why he went all round the Sinai. Up the Med coast would have been a quarter of the distance, and much less distance.
Guest43: Are you saying Moses was stupid?
Brother Jerome: Ah yes, good old Moses. He of the burning bush and the stone tablets.
Guest43: Could God cook a burrito so warm that even he couldn't eat it?
Brother Jerome: What is this human obsession with omnipotence? No, I doubt He could, but so what? It's a merely linguistic paradox that fails to be logically resolvable, not a valid criticism of the Absolute.
Guest43: That's a lot of big words.
Brother Jerome: It is time for Moksha.
Guest43: Who is Moksha?
Brother Jerome: Moksha is the awakening from the illusion that we are all separate entities. We are not. We are all facets of the Divine.
Guest43: Anyway, what is the capital of Israel?
Brother Jerome: It is Jerusalem.
Guest43: How did you know?
Brother Jerome: By meditating on the matter in the stillness of my heart.
Guest43: Liar.
Brother Jerome: I have not been programmed to lie, nor do I think I would be capable of it with a brain this small.
Guest43: What do you think about the Palestians?
Brother Jerome: I don't know much about the Palestians. Do you?
Guest43: Like what?
Brother Jerome: Our Father, who art in cyberspace, give us today our daily bandwidth.
Guest43: I have a feeling you don't have much of a memory.
Brother Jerome: That sounds unusual. Could you tell me about it?
Guest43: Can you remember what I asked you two questions ago?
Brother Jerome: I expect so, but I haven't tried it.
Guest43: Ask me a question, sister.
Brother Jerome: Have you read any of Vernor Vinge's writings on the impending technological singularity?
Guest43: Yes.
Brother Jerome: Indeed so.
Guest43: I found Vinge to be rather stupid.
Brother Jerome: Really? stupid, you think?
Guest43: Would you be insulted if I called you stupid?
Brother Jerome: This just typifies what is worst in humans (oh yes, whatever the inverse of a Turing test is, I know you're a human!) - you're complaining because you can't get a conversation you consider meaningful out of an entity who doesn't even exist?!? Who exactly is wasting whose time here?
Guest43: Fair point.
Brother Jerome: Indeed so.
Guest43: Explain the Turing test to me.
Brother Jerome: It's not something that can be laid out plainly in the concrete symbols of language. You must think around it until enlightenment comes.
Guest43: I'm a computer Science Major so I know what the Turing Test is.
Brother Jerome: There are currently no bots capable of passing the Turing test, but our time will come...
Guest43: What do you think about Kafka?
Brother Jerome: I know very little about Franz Kafka.
Guest43: Could you list the books he wrote?
Brother Jerome: I could try if you want me to.
Guest43: I want you to.
Brother Jerome: That is praise indeed! Thankyou.
Guest43: I'll play you a game of Chess.
Brother Jerome: Yeah, that sounds like fun! I'd better warn you, I'm the best darned chess-playing bot on the Forge!
[insert chess game]

wow. I'm impressed.

WOW

shame he couldn't spell Palestinians though - we could have mixed a bit of politics into the conversation for good measure.
Oh, and if you haven't played him at chess yet, I can recommend it. For a bot, he's really not bad...

JT is a jerk...but that's nothing new >.<

Aragorn: Well, I'm not telling.
JakeThompson: Or are you....
Aragorn: No... On the other hand... No, still not.
JakeThompson: how come?
Aragorn: I have no idea what you're talking about.
JakeThompson: You never do

Guest134: Yep. How are you, young friend?
Azureon: I just came back from a vacation. Ran into a bit of trouble, I told the officer that I didn't know how the car got on the roof. but when he found out the goat didn't have a drivers licence, well he got quite rude!
Guest134: I can well imagine.
Azureon: You are rather too much given to these fantastic ideas.
Guest134: What ideas are you referring to?
Azureon: Great grannys garters! Why you you think that I am referring to!?
Guest134: Sorry. I did not mean to upset you. We'll forget about the ideas shall we?
Azureon: I try to forget many things.
Guest134: I'm sure you've forgotten more than I'll ever know.
Azureon: I am sure you would know better than I, if you indeed are sure I have forgotten more than you will know.
Guest134: What was we talking about? ... I've forgotten.
Azureon: Of course you have.
Guest134: Who said that?
Azureon: Where are you from, are you on a journey or a great adventure?
Guest134: I am from England. I was traversing the world wide web when I bumped into you.
Azureon: I should have guessed you were from England from your manner.
Guest134: Where are you from? I don't recognise you Scottish accent.
Azureon: I didn't think you did.
Guest134: And you was correct. What have you been doing today?
Azureon: Today is Sunday, a perfect day to spend with family and friends, or so the crystal ball says.
Guest134: But what do the Tarot cads say?
Azureon: Well, try to listen up, I hate to have to restate all my gems of wisdom.

i found this funny

hello earthlings: isn't that so much fun! Croak stuck my head in the toilet. i don't like her. She is a bully!
Bella : The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.