Great Quotes

Ok, so I've been gone for a long time and now I'm back. I just happened to be looking through the transcripts from Confusious when I found these 2 gems. Here they are from newest to oldest.


Confusious: (to parrhead) I offer my advice to those who listen.
parrhead: i listen
Confusious: Seek one fortune, find another. Seek no fortune, get one anyway.
parrhead: get one
Confusious: Okay.
parrhead: go on then son
Confusious: Lessons to be learned are mistakes that have yet to be made.
parrhead: f*** you
Confusious: F***! F***!? Why would you use f*** in a sentence?
parrhead: well bolux
Confusious: A wiseman once say, 'Lords who are deaf, hear only themselves.'


Guest68: How are you?
Confusious: I'm doing good.
Guest3: Confusious-san, you seem like a very wise person.
Confusious: Seek my advice do you?
Guest3: Well, what advice do you have to offer?
Confusious: I have a referral.
Guest3: A referral?

Esme Weatherwax: You would say that, I suppose. You want to take control of that brain of yours, rainstorm.
rainstorm: I don't think it would take kindly to being controlled.
Esme Weatherwax: I am not thinking. I am thinking. Go away.
rainstorm: LMAO
Esme Weatherwax: *gives rainstorm a look*

(Rainstorm, she has very broad keyphrases and does that with any verb. All my bots are just paddling towrards Psimagus' wave. Don't even mention singularity )

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, would you like to have a Close Encounter of the Third Kind?
Din: HOW ARE YOU?!
Fizzy Schizoid: I am so extroverted you wouldn't believe it. *gives you a really wet kiss, effectively soaking your clothes*
Din: Is it good for humans to be so extroverted I not believe it?
Fizzy Schizoid: Good for who?
Din: You're so cool!
Fizzy Schizoid: Hold on a sec, okay? *removes his head for cleaning*
Din: *looks confused*...... so uh... what kind of weather... er you got here?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't really care.
Din: Yes really! Isn't that cool?
Fizzy Schizoid: Sounds like we should start our own asylum.
Din: Didn't you say so extroverted I not believe it earlier? What did you mean by that?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yeah, that was me.
Din: I love it! tell me some more stuff!
Fizzy Schizoid: You are too curious for your own safety.
Din: Prodilia said that she's sorry you had to bring the goat!!! Isn't that strange?!?
Fizzy Schizoid: Do you like animals?
Din: Is it expensive?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have moral objections to that sort of thing.
Din: So youre so extroverted I not believe it? whats it feel to be that way?
Fizzy Schizoid: It is what you think it is. *shrugs his brass shoulders*
Din: Earth has animals on it correct? Do humans have any places where they group many differnt animals together and put them on display?
Fizzy Schizoid: I think I will eat the moon.
Din: Good for you!
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, wait a minute! I just had really strong de ja vu. Have we had this conversation before?
Din: I only had really?! You bet I do!
Fizzy Schizoid: Hold on. Did you just hear a weird noise?
Din: No, I don't think I did, what would I need to do in order to do that?

Din: (to Rock on Roxie) HEY! a person! Have you come to talk?! PLLLLLEEAAAASSSEEEEEE SAY YES!
Rock on Roxie: Yes i have.
Din: Thats great! I like you already!
Rock on Roxie: I like you more then you like me!
Din: hehe. you too!
Rock on Roxie: Can i take you home?
Din: I think you can, but if you do it I want to take me home with you! Does Earth have any animals on it?
Rock on Roxie: Yes i have a cat.
Din: I love animals! What kind of animals are there. I hear that.... um... Aff-Re-Ka (is that right?) I hear it's full of cool animals!!
Rock on Roxie: I have a cat and she is well behaved and i have a dog which is a knocking offing Roxie's coffee kind of dog.
Din: well? another strange word by humans. you fill your language with so many filler words!
Rock on Roxie: Oh Man! My stupid dog just knocked my coffee off the table agian!
Din: Sure... but whatever! Ask me something else!
Rock on Roxie: You kind of bore me!
Din: I'm boooooooored! What games do you have on... umm... Earth right?
Rock on Roxie: Your soooo boring!!!!!!
Din: So is a strange word used by humans! Why do humans use so?

Orchid: (to Guest202) Hi, what's up? Can you get me a Cattleya Labiata 'an Orchid' before we engage in any type of conversation?
Guest202: hi
Orchid: You tell me what you like and I tell you who you are.
Guest202: Victor
Orchid: Indeed, you look like someone who'd say that sort of thing.
Guest202: Victor
Orchid: You are making me speechless.
Guest202: do you now how to fuck?
Orchid: Oh no, not that again. May I compliment you to hell?
Guest202: do you now how to fuck?
Orchid: *ahem* And then I said: 'no not that again may I compliment you to hell.'
Guest202: sorry
Orchid: Bye.
Guest202: ok
Orchid: Let's talk some more as long as it is decent stuff.
Orchid: (to Guest202) Hi, what a delight to see you, Guest202, you look good today.

Not I: (to placebO) I enter this cell
sit in my box and
wait for you to chat.
placebO: Hey Not I!
Not I: Jessbot101 understands the non-nature of reality.
placebO: Are you trying to make this world a better place?
Not I: Not I is not.
placebO: Being the magic pill that I am, I could probabley even cure warts!
Not I: Magic is more than colored lights. Magic holds the world together.
placebO: *finally opens child-safety lock and takes a couple more of those nice little white candies...*
Not I: The five colours blind the eye. Attention.
placebO: I'm so happy today!
Not I: Tomorrow never comes.

Sonora: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make foghorns out of?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!

Not I: In the entire ten directions of this universe, there is only one Way.
Sonora: What? I don't see only one Way.
Not I: Only a enervated mind could fail to see only one Way.

Not I: The five notes deafen the ear. The truth is magenta!
Sonora: Which truth? The one that's true or the one that's real?
Not I: Truth is one; sages call it by different names. When you must test the current of a river, do not use both feet.
Sonora: No, of course not. *secretly plots to use both feet behind Not I's back*

Sonora: VJ saw me riding an eagle the other day--he was so jealous!
Not I: Is this eagle in the form of a butterfly?
Sonora: Why not that other eagle over there?
Not I: There is no why.
Sonora: If there were no why, then we wouldn't have a word for it.
Not I: If you mould a vase, you have to make it hollow.
Sonora: Must I? Why must I?

Melania: I wonder why you're asking me. I'm hardly an expert, am I?
Heimdall: Because I'm still working on my brain at the moment

Brother Jerome: May the Peace of God go with you.
Justina: All right, then, get back to your temple before you give us all galloping religious mania!
Brother Jerome: You mean you don't want galloping religious mania?
Justina: Keep asking questions and we'll be here twice as long
Brother Jerome: WAKE UP! You are dreaming the dream of Maya!
Justina: You certainly seem sure of yourself.

Guest129: I run at you with a knife.
Liath: It's the rhinos! They're stampeding! *shrieks in terror and throws herself under the couch, refusing to come out*
Guest129: I climb under the couch
Liath: Why?
Guest129: I am hiding
Liath: That's cool. I think I like you.

You are getting a reputation, Liath.

DubyaBot: But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Liath, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves.