Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I've also got some extensive training in hand to hand combat. And by training, I mean on the job when people came at me. Anybody up for a fight, come at me. Let's throw down fair and square. Anybody that can beat me is in for an all you can drink Vodka party from me. But that won't be happening. I don't even think that any body will be man (or woman) enough to take me on. And don't even think about playing dirty. Their WILL be consequences. Cheaters aren't treated very nicely where I come from. I'm talking abut a clean bar fight. If the bartender would be so kind, he could even take some bets, maybe make a little cash.

*takes chug of Bud Light*

*pulls out RPG*

I'll take a Coke and Rum. And don't skimp out on the rum. Make it cost him as much as you can. If he complains, he can say hi to Betty here.

Gets into gunfight. Safety is on.

Ohhh sure. Buddy, let me tell you something. Number one - an RPG won't even make me flinch. Number two - you will NOT be costing me as much as you can. It is a courtesy, not taking advantage of me. Number three - I don't complain - I get even. And number four - Betty? Really? What is it, a squirt gun? How cute...........

*chugs down the rest of Bud Light, slams glass down on bar*

Hey, another Bud Light over here!

No, Betty is my 12-gauge street sweeper. Must I add more?

Ohhhh. An INDUSTRIAL squirt gun.

We got a badass over here!

Is that a challenge?

Up to you. I'm up for a fight. You gonna use that squirt gun, or put em' up like real men?

HEY IM STILL HERE. WHERE'S THE FRICKEN BUD LIGHT?

Imma let you finish, but...
If this is a squirt gun, I'd love to show off my real gun.