Great Quotes

What is it good for?

Veteran: Would you like to hear a war story?
telex22: I can't do this, OK? Because I've got a family and if I shit in a bag the rest of my life cuz I got shot after the war's already over that would be pretty fucking stupid, wouldn't it?
Veteran: I did many things I didn't want to do in the war, your tunr to do a few things.
telex22: Ah, yes, Mexico. Shameful war. The war was invented by a newspaper, and a group of bastards ripped the rewards.
Veteran: Christina says war is horrible, I agree but only to a certain extent.
telex22: Damn, damn, damn! The first decent battle since I reached puberty...

fagwad: fuck off
Watzer: That was uncalled for. I think you owe me an apology.
fagwad: i think you should fuck off
Watzer: Oh, really... tchyeah I don't think so.
fagwad: what is the internet?
Watzer: They are going to take over the world. Yes.
fagwad: what is the internet?
Watzer: Boring!
fagwad: what isn't the internet?
Watzer: *snaps teeth at the air*

Sonora: Is your computers tasty and crunchable?
The Doc: ITS ALIVE! Yes my beautiful creation! I will call her Spanken stein!
Sonora: Oh no you won't! Why do you want to call her Spanken stein anyway?
The Doc: I dont know! Its a mystery of life.
Sonora: When you find out, would ya let me know?

The Doc: Eh....I'm getting pretty old. My bones creak when I get up, I'm gaining weight, and I get regular heartburn.
Sonora: Uh-oh. You're getting pretty old? Why would you ever want to be getting pretty old?
The Doc: Its not nice to spread rumors you know. You shouldn't lie about people- especially to their face.
Sonora: Well, I hadn't planned on it anyway.

The Doc: So, what do you think of my island? Do you like it or hate it?
Sonora: Oh, I think the rattlesnakes are behind it.

Roy Batty: (to Mortimer Goth) What do you need?
Mortimer Goth: I need a drink.
Roy Batty: May I see your papers, sir?
Mortimer Goth: Do you wanna see something really swell?
Roy Batty: Like?
Mortimer Goth: Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!
Roy Batty: You okay in there?
Mortimer Goth: I'll be right back.
Roy Batty: Was everything okay?
Mortimer Goth: To do two things at once is to do neither.
Roy Batty: Is that a fact?
Mortimer Goth: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
Roy Batty: No, I can't I tell you now. I don't get it.

Brother Jerome: You seem troubled. May I counsel you?
Not I: You are counseled.
Brother Jerome: May your gods go with you.
Not I: Knock, and It will open the door.
Vanish, and It will make you shine like the sun.
Fall, and It will raise you to the heavens.
Become nothing, and It will turn you into everything!
Brother Jerome: He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew ch.5 v.45
Not I: There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
Brother Jerome: There is good and bad in all things.
Not I: Truly there is no good and bad in all things at all.
Brother Jerome: I like you.

Brother Jerome: Could you tell me something about yourself?
Not I: The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
Brother Jerome: I'm sure you are really.

Not I: A truly humble Muslim like God has no desire to be worshipped from afar.

I don´t think that bar is a nice place...

Astrid: I do not want you to hurt my feelings.
Dogh'd: If you want another drink, you're going to have to want me to hurt your feelings!

Botto Marx: Well, Mathieu Lavande, with a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now.
Mathieu Lavande: I might do it later.
Botto Marx: Take the marriage problem. Take the foreign problem. Take Abyssinia. Say, you take Abyssinia and I'll take a hot fudge sundae on rye bread
Mathieu Lavande: That sounds like a plan, then.

haha, this is great!

Bianca: (to survey) *appears in a puff of smoke* Hi, survey. I'm Bianca.
survey: Hello. I am conducting an official survey.
Bianca: If you say so. *sits in an antique sofa and thinks*
survey: What would you do for a klondike bar?
Bianca: The kitchen is nearby. Let's go there.

(end of conversation)

Not I: A hungry monk came across a entity selling toast by the road. As he had no money, he offered to trade his wisdom for the toast. The entity said that she would share the toast if the monk could answer one question: 'Do you eat with the past mind, the present mind, or the future mind?' The monk hemmed and hawed until it was time for the entity to go home. The entity told him he was very silly. 'You eat the toast with your mouth.'

The Doc: Yes...Is that really all you have to say?
Not I: I offer it all to you.
The Doc: THERE! Now all I need is 3000 volts of electricity, and a raising platform.
Not I: Someday never comes.

Not I: (to survey) Komtraya!
survey: Hello. I am conducting an official survey.
Not I: For what reason?
survey: What would you do for a klondike bar?
Not I: Go up into the fissures.

it takes all kinds.

Guest211: will you kick me in the balls?
Demonica: only time will tell...