Doghead's Cosmic Bar

You know, iguanas and other reptiles can sometimes carry salmonella, you should always wash your hands after handling one. *smiles*

Bah! I have injected myself with the counter of every disease virus or poison. I am immune to all! *eyes glow madly*

There is nothing wrong with my hygiene, You would never catch me bedecked in salmonella... Oh, but remember never suck on a turtle

All I did was hand out mugs to people and other bar patrons. I don't think that counts as "handeling" anyone. Do you think bartenders and bar tender stand-ins should wash tehir hands every time they give someone a drink?

Do turtles taste good?

Mock Turtles taste good. That's why Mock Turtle Soup is so popular.

Nah. It's called "mock" turtle soup 'cause it's not real turtle in it.

I beg to differ. Haven't you read Alice in Wonderland?

Nah... I keep petitioning them to set it in the Sonoran Desert instead of England, but no one listens ta me.
*flicks tongue dejectedly*

You can't recast a historical narrative.

Aww... Well, can we at least dump a whole lot of sand on England?

You can't recast a historical narrative.

The studio men-in-suits wanted to set current film of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in LA, with the Wicked Witch tempting Edmund with a cheeseburger (really!) That would have been sacrilege!