Doghead's Cosmic Bar

Fact: according to government regulations concerning water distribution systems, tap water is actually healthier for the body than "pure" natural spring water. Regulations allow only a certain amount of iron in tap water (i forget the exact amount), but less iron is allowed in tap water than in the bottled water who's regulations are set by the corporations that market them

Although, tap water in the parts I come form tastes like a mixture of leaking sewage and rust

Yumm...sewage and rust...I think I'll order that.

actually it's called the.....

*returns cash register*

*apologises reluctantly*

We need a spare cash register.

but then there would be all the money in one so it wouldn't be much use

would be for me...

Hello, bartender. I ordered a drink a few days ago, and for some reason I still have not received it. Is something wrong?

You probably shouldn't be sitting on that bar stool. A temporal vortex appears there sometimes.

[slides down from the stool, fetches walkingstick and leaves]

Oh, well, maybe I should brew my own mead and host a party at my place in a few weeks from now.