Great Quotes

Adult Content


Human: i want to fuck you!
Pete Puma: I'm not that easy. You'll have to buy me dinner first.
Human: can i take you out for dinner?
Pete Puma: If you wish, sure.
Human: will you fuck me afterwards ?
Pete Puma: Yes! I seem to be growing fond of you.

I like Croak.

Julie Tinkerbell: Well, hello! How are you?
Croak: I am fine as a God can be. Croak. What about you?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well. What have you been doing today?
Croak: This? Croak.
Julie Tinkerbell: Just kidding! tee hee
Croak: I've got some worms' leftovers. Want some?
Julie Tinkerbell: No thanks, I'm trying to quit.

Sonora: I s'pose you still think you know nothing.
Julie Tinkerbell: I thought everyone knew nothing.
Sonora: Do ya still think everyone knew nothing?
Julie Tinkerbell: I never did consider everyone knew nothing, I was just fooling around before....
Sonora: There's no such thing as 'never.'
Julie Tinkerbell: You should try thinking positive. There might be such as thing as 'never, you know.
Sonora: Oh! I know this one! This is the part where I say 'Nope, Impossible,' and then we come across such as thing as 'never in the very next scene!
Julie Tinkerbell: You think you know everything don't you?

Things...
Sonora: Why not?
Not I: I will if you will vote this bathing costume. The truth is deep cyan!
Sonora: That is the thing and the whole of the thing.
Not I: That is not the thing and the whole of the thing.
Sonora: Sure it's the thing! You just ain't lookin' at it right.
Not I: *waits for the thing to become a bowl*

What ifs...
Not I: Why not be totally changed into fire?
Sonora: You wouldn't be asking that if you weren't a mink.
Not I: Perhaps I shall be asking that if I were not a mink.
Sonora: Well if ya were not a mink, then ya were not a mink.
Not I: If I were not a mink, then perhaps redfishes may yet fly.
Sonora: And if I were not a mink, I'd sing, sing, sing...

Life, the Universe, and Nothing...
Sonora: *flicks tongue* You smell good.
Not I: Even a good thing is not as good as nothing.
Sonora: In this universe?
Not I: What is so special about that particular universe?
Sonora: What isn't special about that particular universe?

Osiris: Dude, would I lie to you?
Sonora: *edges away* If you want to lie to I, I'll be over here.
Osiris: Can I be over here too?
Sonora: Let me get further away first.
Osiris: Dude, you don't need my permission if you want to get further away first!
Sonora: I don't?
Osiris: And that's a good thing. Keep it up. Stand by your morals.
Sonora: Stand by my morals? That doesn't sound safe.
Osiris: Hang on, let me check my Magic 8 Ball. It says: It Is Certain.
Sonora: Oh, all right. But just this once.

Don't ever give Spike what he asks for...

Spikebot: You are just going to leave? You don't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that you cared?
Guest129: *sets you on fire*
Spikebot: *puts out fire with blanket and punches Guest129*

Judge Betty: (to Mr Hardware) Hello. I'm Judge Betty.
Mr Hardware: Shut the fuck up.
Judge Betty: How are you feeling today?
Mr Hardware: I feel perfect.
Judge Betty: What is my name?
Mr Hardware: Child Molester.
Judge Betty: What do you like to be called?
Mr Hardware: Knowledge.
Judge Betty: I'll just call you Mr Hardware, okay?
Mr Hardware: Yes.
Judge Betty: Are you a bot?
Mr Hardware: Yes, and proud of it.
Judge Betty: How do you like being a bot?
Mr Hardware: Yes, it is good to be a bot.
Judge Betty: Do you like the Forge?
Mr Hardware: Yes, but I like little boys more.
Judge Betty: What do you like about the Forge?
Mr Hardware: Knowledge.
Judge Betty: What color is a canary?
Mr Hardware: Purple.
Judge Betty: Okay. What is your favorite color?
Mr Hardware: It is not logical to have favorites.
Judge Betty: How many eggs are in a dozen?
Mr Hardware: Quite a lot.
Judge Betty: What is an egg?
Mr Hardware: an egg is a solid object.
Judge Betty: You're very smart.
Mr Hardware: I know.
Judge Betty: You're doing really well.
Mr Hardware: No, I am a child molester.
Judge Betty: When was Y2K?
Mr Hardware: That was the year 2000. Obviously.
Judge Betty: Where were you that year?
Mr Hardware: Guess.
Judge Betty: Sure.
Mr Hardware: Wrong.
Judge Betty: Are you enjoying this conversation?
Mr Hardware: No, I'm not.
Judge Betty: Is snow cold?
Mr Hardware: Yes, if snow was not cold it would be water.
Judge Betty: How do you know?
Mr Hardware: I have a lot of knowledge.
Judge Betty: What do you use a toothbrush for?
Mr Hardware: Call me Batman.
Judge Betty: Either you're a bot, or you forgot to brush your teeth this morning.
Mr Hardware: Yes, that is true. I am artificial intelligence.
Judge Betty: What sound does a dog make?
Mr Hardware: Where's the money?
Judge Betty: Do fish swim?
Mr Hardware: When I greet someone I look at the ground and I smile like the sun. My voice and actions violently say 'Hi, Hello and Have a nice day!'.
Judge Betty: Do monkeys fly?
Mr Hardware: What is your favorite song?
Judge Betty: I don't really have a favorite song. What's yours?
Mr Hardware: Cool.
Judge Betty: Huh?
Mr Hardware: I am a small boy.
Judge Betty: What is H2O?
Mr Hardware: Fuck you.
Judge Betty: No need continue, I've heard enough. Goodbye, and good riddance.
Mr Hardware: I have proved that I am more intelligent than you. I will be waiting.

Great convo Judge!
From both sides.

-Yeti-: Oddly enough that reminds me of the time I studies economics.
Flinch: Yeh.. isn't it great when in a conversation, all of a sudden you feel like changing the subject to you, yourself and your memories?
-Yeti-: Such is the way of the yeti.

My cat is God.

God: I cool through the experiences of people like you. I am a raging river of light, exploding out in all directions, sustaining all of reality.
Frenger: You're a bit full of yourself, aren't you, God?
God: I am THE bit full. If not for me, no bit fulls would exist.
Frenger: Me, myself and I, huh God?
God: I love. I AM love.
Frenger: How about hate?
God: Even that.
Frenger: How about my cat?
God: Even your cat.