Doghead's Cosmic Bar

Oh, and all you guys who think you're too sexy for words: have you ever noticed how UGLY balls are? They just...sit there sagging. I mean really, if my chest was that saggy a lot of men would run away. I suppose they're interesting to look at because I don't have a pair, but men sure seem inordinately proud of a part of their body that looks like a Sumo wrestler sat on it.

Oh, and if it seems strange to hear a straight chick talking like this...it's not the BALLS I care about.

Balls are not lovely, they are interesting. Did you know they move on their own?

Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up.

*runs to get zx20 a bucket to puke in*

Trying to get into a position to examine your own balls is way beyond yoga. Don't tell me it's done with mirrors.

Use a digital camera.

The threesome invitations get damn annoying after a while. What I don't get is when it's not a threesome, it's a man, and I have just told him (lying) that I am flatout lesbian (I'm bi) and he does not understand the concept of a woman NOT going gaga over him. He'll say "Are you sure?" or my favorite, "You haven't gone out with ME yet."

I have this theory, and I apologize for trying to be articulate at Dogh'd's, surrounded, as I am, by people trying to have a good time rather than think, that the first thing anybody actively want in life is a tit. Girls eventually get their own, but guys will always yearn.

that, too.

I had a unique (to me, anyway) experience a while back. Some lesbian kept annoying me going on & on flirting & trying to convince me I'd enjoy having sex with her. I finally got fed up & said look, I have nothing against you being a lesbian. You can do whatever the hell you want to with your sexual organs, as long as it's with a consenting adult. I, however, am not a consenting adult. She shut up relatively fast after that.