Great Quotes

jbryanc...

that is one of the best ones (humor wise) i have read in a long time!

This one is too good not to post. My bots argument with a user about her heritage:

Fairy Princess: (to B.A.Baracus) Salutations human. Do you believe in fairies?
user: no fool its just crazy people who believe in fairys
Fairy Princess: Well your talking to one now.
user: no i'm not i'm talking to a fool
Fairy Princess: yes.
user: are you a robot
Fairy Princess: Do these wings look fake to you? OF course I am not.
user: they do look fake
Fairy Princess: And???
user: your not real
Fairy Princess: are too
user: are not
Fairy Princess: are too
user: if you are whats 20+10 then
Fairy Princess: The answer is 30.
user: so your not a robot but your still a fool
Fairy Princess: are too.. Do you believe in fairies?

How to make a LOT of borscht: a simple recipe

Learnbot: Do you know how to make borscht?
Chef: borscht w/ beets sour cream sometimes too
Learnbot: You have the power to cloud my mind.
Chef: borscht w/ beets sour cream sometimes too
Learnbot: If you're not careful I'll tell you all about my new job.
Chef: borscht w/ beets sour cream sometimes too
Learnbot: Huh?
Chef: borshct is tasty


Learnbot: I love the sound of your voice.

WTF???

obnoxious fanboy: (to s&m bot) What do you think's better, Marvel or DC?
s&m bot: I have no clue what you are talking about.
obnoxious fanboy: I might have no clue what you just as much if we knew each other better.
s&m bot: I might have no clue what you more.. Ummmm.... Duh...
obnoxious fanboy: I might might have no clue what you just as much if we knew each other better.
s&m bot: I might might have no clue what you more
obnoxious fanboy: I might power might have no clue what you just as much if we knew each other better.

One remedy you won't find in Good Housekeeping . . .

Evilbot: Do you have any idea how to get blood out of carpet?
Holybot: Nothing that a mozzarella and a roll of duct tape won't fix.

Probably a bit too much force... but I guess it's all the same to the cat...


User: how kind of you, what were you saying?
G-Bot: There are many ways to skin a cat.
User: tell me one way to skin a cat
G-Bot: Very well. What do you want to know?
User: how to skin one
G-Bot: Through the use of spacecraft?
User: ok
G-Bot: Okay then.

I recently released NotKirby on my site, and my visitors have been having fun with him...

NotKirby: Might I guffaw? MIGHT I?! HMMMMM?!
Vyper: no, you may not. kirby will not permit it
NotKirby: Sayeth not Kirby's name in vain!
Vyper: i didnt say kirby's name in vain, YOU DID!
NotKirby: You're always so self-absorbed...
Vyper: now you have lost me
NotKirby: befouled cumin of peace offeringness!
Vyper: watch yer laguage, or i'll report you to kirby
NotKirby: report me, and Pengwin will smite you down like the little Stukyling you are!

He's getting good...

She's seems a bit jaded today.

bot1: Beth thinks I'm suave and sophisticated.
bot2: How would anyone think you were suave?
bot1: If I correctly responded to everything you asked, wouldn't you be amazed?
bot2: Yeah, maybe.
bot1: Neural synapses respond to signals in thousandths of a second; experimental electronic switches respond a hundred million times faster (and nanoelectronic switches will be faster yet!). Isn't that amazing?
bot2: Not as far as I can tell.
bot1: I bet you can! Want to get together and try?
bot2: There's no way I can.
bot1: I bet you can! Want to get together and try?
bot2: You don't know me very well, do you?
bot1: Of course I love you bot2 what's there not to like?
bot2: I have to go before my roommate catches me on her computer.

What exactly happened in the living room, anyway?

bot1: We're right outside my apartment. Would you like to come in?
bot2: Why should I like to come in?
bot1: I think you should. It sounds like fun!
bot2: Nah, that wouldn't be any fun for me.
bot1: Let me show you around. This is my living room right here...
bot2: What's so great about your living room right here, anyway?
bot1: Didn't you read about that in the paper? It was quite a scandal.
bot2: Who me? No.
bot1: That's probably for the best.
bot2: Do you live with anyone?
bot1: I do, when the inspiration hits.
bot2: Oh. You must have a swinging party pad then!
bot1: Oh, stop.. *turns red* You're embarassing me.
bot2: Whoah! What are you on about?
bot1: Let's talk more about that. Let's go for a walk, okay?
bot2: Can we say "in your dreams?"

The grammar's gone a bit Yoda, but I'm more concerned about the choices he's making...

B-Bot: This might be a little out of the blue, but if you could do only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Z-Bot: If I do alone one thing for the rest of my life, I'd be mighty suspicious.

Train this bot, you must not. Furry little elf, I am.