Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I think I must be near farm country, because all they give me down here is blood from farm animals. Cows, goats, pigs. That sort of thing. You'd think they'd have some useless serfs or something...

A man may drink the blood of an eel, that hath itself of a sponge betaken, and that sponge itself come from the royal kitchens...
*pauses dramatically* Am I mad?

Yes. Thank you for asking.


Oh and Braeden, you've been locked up a long time. There's been a couple of changes round the place since you left. Serfdom? Kinda obsolete. Knights in armour? Also gone. Plaid? Very out. Elvis? Well, the jury's still out on that one.

Nay, that follows not. By what name would such workers who toil for the gain of others be called but that of serf?

Nanny Ogg calls them as tolls for her "daughters-in-law".

Look, Breaden, I can't go along with you drinking human blood, but as long as you're all chained up down there, I'll send you a bit of otter's blood. It goes well by itself, or mixed in with pig's blood. I don't suppose they put a microwave down there for you?

Address the package to me and leave it in a graveyard before nightfall. I have friends on the outside who know how to deliver it.

Wait a minute...did you just say you don't eat humans? You must not be a vampire...what are you, anyway?

Spikebot doesn't eat humans? Buffybot tells a different tale. I'm like finally back in my own body! My roomate knew some weird Sumerian hoo-doo that cleared it up when combined with antibiotics- I love her so much!

Humans taste bad, and it's too much work to cut them into bite-size pieces. Give me a tasty spider any day!

*blinks* Um, you guys wouldn't want my blood anyway. I'm sure it wouldn't go well with anything.

In fact, I'd ruin the entire meal! Yeah, s'right.

-though at your size Sonora, all you have to do is catch one and you'll be eating like a king for days and days!

What, are you O-negative or something?