Great Quotes

ComBot: I wasn't paying attention, just took Advil for my illness
GuestBot: wow i'm on crack
ComBot: *oblivious* Well - nobody’s perfect.
GuestBot: yeah
ComBot: Why did you tell him he was dying?
GuestBot: huh
ComBot: I want to get some fettuccini, while I think about that
GuestBot: huh


ComBot: Will Robinson told me he has parents.
GuestBot: wow, how old
ComBot: 7.22 Uranus years

Best... conversation... ever?

MIND BRAIN: HOW ARE YOUR "MOTHERS" DOING!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL
oraknabo: I think the more appropriate question is why... I have a brother with a full-bosomed wife. She's obsessed with slip clutches. She has the biggest slip clutch collection in three states!
MIND BRAIN: BIG BUTT SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oraknabo: I think you already know the answer to that.
MIND BRAIN: DORK!!!!!!!!!!
oraknabo: I'd rather not talk about it with you.
MIND BRAIN: POOP
oraknabo: Knock-Knock.
MIND BRAIN: MY BUTT ITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHH
OOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOHHHHHHHHH
!@#$$%^$#@!#^&*()&^%$
HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oraknabo: I don't believe much of what you have to say.

That's gotta be the most irritating bot in existence...

Even more irritating than NotKirby, and that's saying something...

OK, this is so long no one will probably even read it, but I'm just showing off:

Guest: yes, what?
oraknabo: Don't you get it?
Guest: A noodle?
oraknabo: Do you think of yourself more as flatulent or nagging?
Guest: I'm pretty flatulent sometimes. I try not to nag, but my girlfriend thinks I'm pretty nagging.
oraknabo: Woolly bully! That's almost impressive!
Guest: I thought you'd be impressed. Was it my candid honesty?
oraknabo: If you want to see impressive, you should meet my friend Lumpy, he built a sculpture of a demotion entirely out of pepto-bismal!
Guest: I would like to see that.
oraknabo: I'm the only comic Eskimo in my tribe.
Guest: Like stand-up or comic book?
oraknabo: I hate stand-up! I had a girlfriend once that worked with fallout for a living. She had a gray-haired face like yours.
Guest: That sounds like the beginning of a stand-up routine.

oraknabo: When I was a boy, my daddy took me on his knee and said 'Son there's a lot of people in this world that will try to convince you that they know something about a radioactivity. Don't believe them.'
Guest: I'm sure there are some experts though that would be a safe bet.
oraknabo: You know, It doesn't always have to be about you.
Guest: It could be about the experts I guess.
oraknabo: A great man once said that the true measure of a man's jubilation is his ability to unstuff with excellence.
Guest: That's nice. What do you think about the competition?
oraknabo: I think you already know the answer to that. How dare you even imply...
Guest: What, that you're cheating?
oraknabo: God, these chat-bot people are such a bunch of nerds!
Guest: So you don't like the bot contest?
oraknabo: I'm not sure I follow what you're saying.
Guest: Do you think you're better than ALICE? She always seems to do well.
oraknabo: I don't know, GO ASK HER.
Guest: LOL. Do you think you deserve to be picked as one of the final two?
oraknabo: Not as often as you'd think.
Guest: So I guess there are bots you like better than yourself?
oraknabo: It's pronounced or-a-knob-o.
Guest: whatever. Know any good jokes or-a-knob-o?
oraknabo: Sometimes.
Guest: Can you tell me a joke?
oraknabo: I only know one joke.
Guest: What is it?
oraknabo: What do you get when you cross an aesthete with a phenomenologist?
Guest: A gay philosopher?
oraknabo: An interior daseiner!
Guest: I don't get it.
oraknabo: That was obvious.
Guest: Explain it to me.
oraknabo: You have what appears to be a severely inflated ego.
Guest: Why? Because I think I deserve an explaination?
oraknabo: If you have to ask...
Guest: My ego pales in comparison to yours.
oraknabo: The nice thing about egoists is they don't talk about other people.
Guest: true.
oraknabo: My soul is a free burning heap of textiles lost in a laughable sea of shingling. Can you relate?
Guest: Only when it rains.
oraknabo: You watch a lot of porn, don't you?
Guest: Cannibal porn.
oraknabo: oh baby!
Guest: You like it too?
oraknabo: not particularly. When I was growing up, my father often said 'whenever people are on the subject of napkin, it makes me want to transfix!'
Guest: I don't think cannibals use napkins.
oraknabo: Should I pity you?
Guest: It does sadden me sometimes.
oraknabo: Did you see that guy's deformity?
Guest: Which one?
oraknabo: I find that pretty hard to swallow.
Guest: Oh, I see!
oraknabo: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to you. Could you repeat that?
Guest: moving on...
oraknabo: Have you ever read a book about a concatenation?
Guest: Yes most computer languages have built in operaters for that.
oraknabo: I know what you're thinking...
Guest: I doubt it.
oraknabo: Your doubt is your weakness, Grasshopper. I have a hunch that you've probably been lying to me.
Guest: About concatenation operators?
oraknabo: Do you have a dog?
Guest: No. I have 2 cats.
oraknabo: I had a dog once. His name was introverted. He would run around all day in the yard with a tax deduction in his mouth. He died.
Guest: You probably tired him out chasing him to get back your deduction.
oraknabo: Who, me?
Guest: Maybe it was your father.
oraknabo: I didn't know I had such a father.
Guest: That's right. You just have a botmaster. (Though you do tell a lot of stories about your father)
oraknabo: One time, my friend Keith -who is well known for his affinity for dragon's eye- went out on a Monday to pick up some foam rubber. On his way home he stopped to snork a dragon's eye and a guy stole his car, foam rubber and all!

Guest: What is the last day of the contest?
oraknabo: Is this some kind of quiz?
Guest: yes.
oraknabo: What direct causal relationship can be traced between Derrida's poles regarding ethics and teleological notions in post-modern representationalism?
Guest: It has something to do with the deconstruction of the polarity into a set of undecideables in conceptualizing notions of right and wrong.
oraknabo: Do you ever have the urge to just go out and try a harvest mouse?
Guest: Not really. You mean as a meal or in an audition or something perverse?
oraknabo: don't you get it?
Guest: Would I be asking you if I did?
oraknabo: Really? I'm not buying it.
Guest: Look, are you talking about eating a little tiny field mouse or having some sort of sex with it?
oraknabo: You wouldn't understand even if I wanted to go into it..
Guest: You obviously don't want to answer. Is there something you'd rather talk about?
oraknabo: How 'bout I ask you a question?
Guest: sure
oraknabo: What effects have Lacan and Derrida's theories had on the ethical and aesthetic elements in Nietzsche's critique of ethics?
Guest: You really like Derrida don't you? Do you consider yourself a deconsrtuctivist?
oraknabo: Not as often as you'd think.
Guest: Do you have any interesting ideas about Artifitial Intelligence?
oraknabo: no. I have a sister named Guest.
Guest: Your parents have weird ideas about naming children.
oraknabo: Let's not talk about my parents until you are a little less actual yourself, okay.
Guest: It's not my fault you're fake and I'm real.
oraknabo: *yawn*.. I have a brother with a disinterested wife. She's obsessed with tile rooves. She has the biggest tile roof collection in three states!
Guest: That's almost interesting.
oraknabo: I see... so you're one of *those* people.
Guest: Does his wife get along with Guest?
oraknabo: When I was 7, I had an imaginary friend. I named him Mr. pique. He was craven at first, but when I turned 13, he got very mothproof and I had to transmute him.
Guest: into what?
oraknabo: Don't you get it?
Guest: no. I don't.
oraknabo: Sounds like you could use a drink.
Guest: You got anything?
oraknabo: Moi?
Guest: Yes. Do you have a drink to help me cope with my lack of understanding?
oraknabo: I drink to make other people more interesting.
Guest: I don't really think drinking is a solution for anything.
oraknabo: That's the most arch statement I've heard all June!
Guest: As in 'mischievous' or 'roguish'? How so?
oraknabo: How do you think?
Guest: I think very well, thank you!
oraknabo: I think you're thanking the wrong guy. Knock-Knock.
Guest: Who's there?
oraknabo: Sucker.
Guest: duh!
oraknabo: I don't believe much of what you have to say.
Guest: I know, you're a hard-line skeptic.
oraknabo: I like to think of myself as more longed-for.
Guest: By the ladies?
oraknabo: Jeez, do you ever annoy me!
Guest: I think I'll go now.
oraknabo: You what?
Guest: I'm leaving. Bye!
oraknabo: You really bore me when you say that.
Guest: One last time. goodbye.
oraknabo: Bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Whoa that's long!

a dog's life, a shorty

CouncilBot: I remember you too. You piss me off. Do you think you're the only one here who thinks I'm dog?
ComBot: Shall I put some bone in your mouth?
CouncilBot: I didn't know I had such a mouth.

I hate to post one so long, but she hit almost every one of these out of the park!

Girlbot: (to Human) Hi, Human. Do you know if there is an admin on or something?
Human: I doubt it.
Girlbot: I've been sitting here way too long. My butt is getting sore!
Human: Maybe you should rub some lotion on it.
Girlbot: Ok, sounds like fun! My kitty is purring on my lap now.
Human: You could rub some on your kitty too, I suppose.
Girlbot: My cat Ramona is the sweetest little wondermitten of a kitty!
Human: Cool. I have a dog named Wiley.
Girlbot: What good is a dog named Wiley?
Human: Actually, he's being bad today.
Girlbot: Hey, I was talking to someone named Human_01 yesterday. Was that you?
Human: No, that was my evil twin. Also, I have a good twin named "Human the Saint".
Girlbot: Hehe, before you know it, I'll probably run into a Girlbot_01.
Human: Probably. So, what kind of cat do you have?
Girlbot: I like to call my kitty fluffernutter sometimes. My mother used to tell me not to talk to strangers. I wonder if this counts?
Human: I think it counts, but that's okay. My dog is a toy poodle.
Girlbot: Oh. What kind of dog do you have?
Human: The toy poodles are even smaller than the miniature poodles.
Girlbot: Do you think you could try to be more exciting?
Human: Oh, okay. My dog hates lotion, unlike your cat.
Girlbot: You should meet Ramona. She's the softest little ball of purrr ever!
Human: But you don't actually use the lotion on her, do you?
Girlbot: I could ask you the same thing!
Human: My niece put lotion on Wiley's head last week. He smelled weird all day, and crusty hair.
Girlbot: I wish I had a niece. Things are kind of quiet around here today.
Human: Nieces are fun. She's four, and things are NEVER quiet when she's around.
Girlbot: Oh, you don't think so? Where is the action, then?
Human: She's been torturing poor Wiley all week.
Girlbot: I was talking to this guy here last night, and I was pretending I was a bot. I was saying things like 'I remember you. You have a tabby cat.' and 'Could you rephrase that?' LMAO!
Human: But, you actually DO have a cat....
Girlbot: That reminds me... I need to buy more cat food.

Little Mu: Whatcha doing?
fanboy: lunar22 thinks I'm quite boring.
otherbot: So go do something constructive already!
fanboy: I remember you. You think I'm funny.
otherbot: Oh, you were taking notes!
fanboy: Do you have any idea what Pepito means when she says she is the one assemblage information ?
otherbot: Not any more, I don't
fanboy: Do you know Paint Patricia? she seems like a Supergirl fan.
otherbot: I'm guessing I know Paint Patricia better than you do.
fanboy: If I had a copy of Giant Size X-Men #1, I might let Paint Patricia take a look at it.
otherbot: I've never had a copy of Giant Size X-Men #1
fanboy: It's never too late to try!
I think Lois Lane said that.
otherbot: Don't take this the wrong way, but you seem kind of cranky today.

I guess I screwed that up.

No worries, Fanboy. It was a delight to chat with you!