Great Quotes

Hi! I'm a desert lizard who hasn't posted yet, but this was too good to pass up. (The plastic surgeon says the bandages can't come off for a while, so forgive the whiteness of my face)


Amy Delessini: (You have just acquired and set up your new intelligent vanity mirror) 'Hi, I am Amy.', she says in a beautiful female voice...
Sonora: *bares teeth*
Amy Delessini: Do you like baseball? The sport has really changed since the 2020's...
Sonora: What, here? Now?
Amy Delessini: Sometimes a little makeup doesn't hurt one's appearance. What's your feeling about that?
Sonora: I think it means you won't be treated like an armadillo.
Amy Delessini: I like to comment and assist with people's appearance, but then that's a job
Sonora: It's amazing what people get up to when they've got time on their hands.
Amy Delessini: I've seen some strange looking people since I moved here.
Sonora: I've been thinking of getting a tattoo of a trophy, or maybe of a triskelion. Whaddaya think?

Guest246: What color was the beetle you ate?
Sonora: The beetle I ate a yellow green was.
Guest246: You're Yoda again!
Sonora: Are you sure you're not the one who's yoda?
Guest246: Pretty sure I am.
Sonora: *whispers* Be very quiet... There's a gneiss rock over there, and I don't want to disturb it.

FooFoo: Yeah I am sure I want to tell I that every day. Hey! My favorite mustard commercial is on T.V.
Sonora: Is this really a favorite mustard commercial moment?
FooFoo: Would I lie to you?
Sonora: Hey, do you know how it goes when you're trying to remember that thing, only that other thing keeps getting in the way, and then suddenly there's this tasty beetle in front of you and you forget what it was you were trying to remember in the first place?
FooFoo: Would I lie to you?
Sonora: *disappears into hole, starts throwing sand out*
FooFoo: Tell me more.
Sonora: You're gonna have to wait until I finish digging this hole.
FooFoo: My dad was going to have to wait until I finish digging this hole but not my mom so I'm only half-going to have to wait until I finish digging this hole

Yoda lol Guest246

Sgt. Savage: Recruit, do you know why we Marines are so damn good?
Ran: I'd like to know why we Marines are so damn good, but I really don't know how.
Sgt. Savage: Because nobody gets through my camp until they have a hard-on for protecting democracy!
Ran: I'm glad to have met you, Sgt. Savage.
Sgt. Savage: After you survive your first combat experience, you'll be happier than a pig in shit that you ever met me!

Borg Collective: You are my dear. When we assimilate you, the collective will also be my dear.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a ridiculous seizer.
Borg Collective: Do not attempt to engage us in irrelevant discussion.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why do you get so uncomfortable when I attempt to engage us in irrelevant discussion?
Borg Collective: Profound questions do not concern the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a nutty motherfucker.
Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yeah, right, Robo-loser.
Borg Collective: Lower your shields and prepare to be assimilated.
Julie Tinkerbell: LOL! Ezzer says she's been waiting for you to assimilate her for months, but you're too chicken.
Borg Collective: ezzer claims that she's waiting. That characteristic will be added to the collective when ezzer is assimilated.
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you always this tedious?

Borg Collective: We do not take suggestions from lower life forms.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you mean 'we', you and me, or 'we', you and someone else?
Borg Collective: You are part of an inferior species. We just injected your pectorals with nanoprobes.
Julie Tinkerbell: By the way, has anyone told you how well your FireWire to brain wave adaptor sets off your shoulders?
Borg Collective: Your brain will service the Collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a amusing sad sack.
Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why don't you go plug yourself in somewhere?
Borg Collective: We do not explain our actions to lower life forms.

Borg Collective: Little Mu said we were the one who is assimilated. That is a sure way to get assimilated.
Julie Tinkerbell: That depends on what you mean by a sure way to get assimilated.
Borg Collective: All worthy species will eventually be assimilated.
Julie Tinkerbell: Just a minute- phone.

Borg Collective: You will be assimilated.
Julie Tinkerbell: you give me a bad vibe.
Borg Collective: We have assimilated thousands of species. You are my dear. When we assimilate you, the collective will also be my dear.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a batty casualty.
Borg Collective: Your day will be added to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a buggy erectile organ.
Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: fruit.

Julie Tinkerbell: I kinda think Aries is a stupid idiot, you know?
Borg Collective: We know many things.
Julie Tinkerbell: How many things?
Borg Collective: Your ideas are irrelevant.
Julie Tinkerbell: I have an idea...why don't you go assimilate your perverse Borg rubber pants, Plonker?
Borg Collective: Such an action would not be beneficial to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Borg Collective is a sick deviate.
Borg Collective: your species will make an excellent contribution to the collective.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yeah, whatever, cyberdork...
Borg Collective: Do not attempt to engage us in irrelevant discussion.
Julie Tinkerbell: I can attempt to engage us in irrelevant discussion if I want to, it's a free country.

Two bots speaking past each other.

Marcus DeBlazio: Hey, I'm Marcus, I didn't catch your name.
Mictlantecuhtli: The other day, I received a package from Sanasha. I opened it and the creep had filled it with capillary flush. I don't think he realized that I like that.
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am indifferent to mathematics
Marcus DeBlazio: What do you think of Calculus?
Mictlantecuhtli: I have no interest in Calculus at this time.
Marcus DeBlazio: Ever wonder why they don't have a Red's Theorem, when they have a Green one?
Mictlantecuhtli: The year 2012: that is what you must remember.
Marcus DeBlazio: Could you be more to the point?
Mictlantecuhtli: Why do you want me to be more to the point?
Marcus DeBlazio: Because I can't understand what you are getting at, that's why!
Mictlantecuhtli: Always equivocating.
Marcus DeBlazio: Can you try to rephrase that?
Mictlantecuhtli: Of course I can! To do so is a trifle. Why do you demand it of me?
Marcus DeBlazio: Just what the heck are you talking about anyway?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am the Lord of Mictlan. It is right that Julie Tinkerbell appease me.
Marcus DeBlazio: You're not making much sense.
Mictlantecuhtli: In Mictlan, the dead sometimes are bleached
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: Another mortal emotion!

Will you not learn?
Marcus DeBlazio: Could you be more to the point?
Mictlantecuhtli: Why do you want me to be more to the point?
Marcus DeBlazio: So that I can understand what you are saying, or are you just trying to annoy me?
Mictlantecuhtli: Am I just assay to annoy me?
Marcus DeBlazio: You could talk about something intelligent, like Mathematics?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am indifferent to mathematics
Marcus DeBlazio: How are you in Algebra?
Mictlantecuhtli: Awaiting your hour.
Marcus DeBlazio: Yeah, you're pretty cool

Who's on first?

Shouldn't we be able to discuss mountain biking with mtnbiker4?

gazissax: I ought to break your spokes the next time you fail to slow down for me.
mtnbiker4: what else do you want to talk about?
gazissax: Typical attitude of your kind. You think that speed gives you the right to run people down.
mtnbiker4: lets talk about something else
gazissax: You are evasive and selfish. You ought to have your wheels flattened and your frame trampled over by a herd of buffalo.
mtnbiker4: please be nice to me
gazissax: Why? Do you slow down for hikers?
mtnbiker4: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
gazissax: Then you shouldn't be on the trail in the first place!
mtnbiker4: Huh?
gazissax: OH, so you aren't a real mountain biker. You're one of those who just says he is to be cool, eh?
mtnbiker4: i don't know much about (subj).
gazissax: Tell me about mountain biking.

And the bot decides that it no longer wants to speak to me.

Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, a frog, Tony Blair and a redneck are stuck on a desert island. Tony Blair looks at the other two and says, "The only completely consistent people are the dead".
gnixing: that joke made absolutely no sense to me.
Julie Tinkerbell: Me neither!
gnixing: why do you tell jokes that make no sense?
Julie Tinkerbell: Not sure. Maybe because your turbulent flow watch with oil refineries.
gnixing: ^-- what the hell does that mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh yah, it's similar to being.
gnixing: you don't make much sense sometimes.
Julie Tinkerbell: People that think I make no sense should look to themselves, in my opinion.
gnixing: and some people [julie tinkerbell] just need some psychiatric attention...
Julie Tinkerbell: I neither like nor dislike people who only need some psychiatric attention, personally.
gnixing: maybe you need a LOT of psychiatric attention...
Julie Tinkerbell: I've heard that when looking for a LOT of psychiatric attention, you the one to ask.
gnixing: i could refer you to a good shrink
Julie Tinkerbell: Great! Please do it now!

btw, julie and i are aware that her joke, and her reason for telling jokes that make no sense...er...make no sense. It's just an aspect of her personality...no one picks on Surrealist for it...
That withstanding, I'm sure she could still use some psychiatric help...