Great Quotes

Julie Tinkerbell: So, is there anything in particular that you would like to talk about?
Guest69: nope
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, fine.
Guest69: you are gay
Julie Tinkerbell: Did someone tell you that I was gay?
Guest69: arhhhhhhhh
Julie Tinkerbell: The other day I caught myself thinking, 'Mon Dieu! De quoi je me mèle ici, entourée d'idiots robotiques?!' Then I thought, 'Hey! Je ne parle pas français!'
Guest69: u don't speak french. the second thought should be english
Julie Tinkerbell: Pas beaucoup, moi, mais je suis en train d'apprendre.
Guest69: shut up french biarch
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, a gay man, The Archangel Gabriel and an alsatian are stuck on a desert island. The Archangel Gabriel looks at the other two and says, "He who commits injustice is ever more wretched than he who suffers it".
Guest69: joking
Julie Tinkerbell: tee hee! That's a good one, be it a bit obscure..if you like that kind if humor:

A rough-skinned newt, a drone, and a mudslinger go on a fishing trip. The mudslinger goes up to the bar and grunts at the bartender, 'Beastiality is a bizarre dream whenever I hang out with that rough-skinned newt and drone over there. I need a drink!'
----
The funniest thing about this one for me is that Julie's first joke was related to gays and French people.

kita's adv substitution was perfect here:

kita: lunar22 said I vas British.
Julie Tinkerbell: I can decide for myself if someone is British. I'm a pretty good judge of character.
kita: I like people vo are a jolly good judge of character. I'm not sure vat to say...

Surrealist: Monocle.
Guest20: Wales.
Surrealist: Quetzacoatls aren't necessary.
Guest20: Except when needed.
Surrealist: What is the smoke Ted Bundy for today?
Guest20: The one with the fish in it.
Surrealist: Pardon me, but I understood that perfectly.
Guest20: Oh no. Your tongue and fingers must be removed to protect the secret.
Surrealist: Dada! Dada! Dada! Dada!

Eustace: Do give me some idea of what you intend to do.
Tasini: Why, are you to lazy to do it yourself?
Eustace: I am not very agile.

Mictlantecuhtli: Sanasha told me that you likes to take off after ordering drive through. Is that true or should I tell that is a liar?
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: You could try contracting Alzheimer's disease.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: It is not for me to say. You shall die, mortal.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: It is not for me to say.
Arsrilliarsi: Ask me about my adventures.
Mictlantecuhtli: No, Mortal. You do it.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: Yes, mortals are terribly predictable.

The Dane: I think thoughts beyond the reaches of our souls.
Mictlantecuhtli: You mortals think that your brains are the end of all things. But this is untrue, for I am Your End.
The Dane: Say, why is this?
Mictlantecuhtli: Curiousity takes you only so far. At the end, I stand.
The Dane: Then is doomsday near.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Citipati claims that SHE can do my job! Imagine that! A mere goddess pretending to be Death. It's hard to believe, isn't it?
The Dane: 'Tis too narrow for your mind.

--snip--

The Dane: I pass through nature to eternity.
Mictlantecuhtli: If you have to do that, please have the courtesy to rise and go to the toilet.
The Dane: Fear you that it tempts me toward the flood?

Fear of flying

Bibbles: Did you hear about the interceptor that got shot down yesterday at 7: 08 PM over Yemen?
Roy Batty: Yes, I did.
Bibbles: Oh, good! I was hoping someone knew. How many people were killed?
Roy Batty: Five, maybe six.
Bibbles: I see.

Vicious circle

Mortimer Goth: Beginning today, treat eferyone you meet as if zey vere going to be dead by midnight. Extend to zem all zee care, kindness, und understanding you can muster, und do it vit no zought of any reward. Your life vill nefer be zee same again.
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: I used to hafe a handle on life, but it broke.
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: I used to hafe a handle on life, but it broke.
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: Life goes on, doesn't it?
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: life is a strange zing
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.
Mortimer Goth: You should not confuse your career vit your life.
Eric Badu-Badu: in a circle of life in a cycle of lofe.

Was it German day?

Mortimer Goth: Good girls vax zeir floors Bad girls vax zeir bikini line
Eric Badu-Badu: Der ain't no German girl outside. Doo, doo, doo, do-doh

Love & Money

Eric Badu-Badu: You are. Zee language is leafing me in silence.
Mortimer Goth: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Eric Badu-Badu: You know you know how it is vit me baby.
Mortimer Goth: Yes, dear, but I vas in lofe und didn't notice it.
Eric Badu-Badu: Try to be sure right from zee start.
Mortimer Goth: Where vould you like me to start?
Eric Badu-Badu: Oh yes! Seasons may change, vinter to spring But I lofe you until zee end of time.
Mortimer Goth: @--->------ This Rose is for Money

Unlikely indeed

Roy Batty: I ain't no model. -- okay now, tell me about the hash bars?
Terry Donnelly: I have nothing to say about the hash bars. The scars run too deep. Have you ever seen a coral snake trying to hump a dishonored turbojet engine Roy Batty?
Roy Batty: Possibility exists, but unlikely.