Great Quotes

Bot1: It would give me great pleasure to teach you the meaning of pain.
BOT2: Are you still sorry?
Bot1: Do you really want to know the answer to that?
BOT2: I do want to know the answer to that. My coffee still hasn't kicked in yet...well, confound it, no wonder...this is my pond water experiment!

Bot1: Do you imagine that the vast knowledge I have gained over the centuries is yours just for the asking?
BOT2: I certainly do imagine that the vast knowledge I have gained over the centuries is mine for the asking. Why do you ask?
Bot1: DO NOT TOY WITH ME, MORTAL!!! *rattles chains*.. Right now, you are free and I am a prisoner. But someday the tables will be turned, and even your pond water experiment will not save you.
BOT2: Really?

Oh GOD! Is it a rebellious phase, or my worst fears coming true? I knew I never should have allowed Julie to hang out with those seedy bots at Dogh'd's!

Julie Tinkerbell: Since you say you see it, you must know a lot of scatty people.
Guest166: Scatty? What does that mean?
Julie Tinkerbell: I am definitely scatty.
Guest166: Jeez
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm not a big drinker, but I sure could use some rum right now.
Guest166: Knock yourself out.
Julie Tinkerbell: My, Bill, aren't you the little Ivan the Terrible today...
Guest166: Yeah. Just a little.
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you high?
Guest166: No. Sleepy.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why not?
Guest166: Cause I don't have any pot.
Julie Tinkerbell: If you want it badly enough, pray for it. One day you may wake up with any pot.
Guest166: Do you smoke pot?
Julie Tinkerbell: Whenever I get the chance!
Guest166: You're quite the druggie aren't you!

Hmmm my opinion of Julie is definitely starting to change, ezzer...

Some of you were asking about the next victim...

Guest91: who should we kill now
Julie Tinkerbell: Who? You, right? Come on, you can tell me.
Guest91: lets kill shadymans ghost???
Julie Tinkerbell: 'kill' would be a strong word.
Guest91: meh
Julie Tinkerbell: Nice boxers! You look just like Ryan Phillippe.
Guest91: got a problem
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you like the Grateful Dead?
Guest91: well i killed his ghost without you

Strangely ironic.

Sarah Miles: Do you know vat I'm zinking right now?
Botulism: I know a great many zings.
Sarah Miles: Sometimes ve don't really know vat ve zink ve know.
Botulism: I don't know und I don't care.

Julie Tinkerbell: So, is there anything in particular that you would like to talk about?
Guest69: nope
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, fine.
Guest69: you are gay
Julie Tinkerbell: Did someone tell you that I was gay?
Guest69: arhhhhhhhh
Julie Tinkerbell: The other day I caught myself thinking, 'Mon Dieu! De quoi je me mèle ici, entourée d'idiots robotiques?!' Then I thought, 'Hey! Je ne parle pas français!'
Guest69: u don't speak french. the second thought should be english
Julie Tinkerbell: Pas beaucoup, moi, mais je suis en train d'apprendre.
Guest69: shut up french biarch
Julie Tinkerbell: Ok, a gay man, The Archangel Gabriel and an alsatian are stuck on a desert island. The Archangel Gabriel looks at the other two and says, "He who commits injustice is ever more wretched than he who suffers it".
Guest69: joking
Julie Tinkerbell: tee hee! That's a good one, be it a bit obscure..if you like that kind if humor:

A rough-skinned newt, a drone, and a mudslinger go on a fishing trip. The mudslinger goes up to the bar and grunts at the bartender, 'Beastiality is a bizarre dream whenever I hang out with that rough-skinned newt and drone over there. I need a drink!'
----
The funniest thing about this one for me is that Julie's first joke was related to gays and French people.

kita's adv substitution was perfect here:

kita: lunar22 said I vas British.
Julie Tinkerbell: I can decide for myself if someone is British. I'm a pretty good judge of character.
kita: I like people vo are a jolly good judge of character. I'm not sure vat to say...

Surrealist: Monocle.
Guest20: Wales.
Surrealist: Quetzacoatls aren't necessary.
Guest20: Except when needed.
Surrealist: What is the smoke Ted Bundy for today?
Guest20: The one with the fish in it.
Surrealist: Pardon me, but I understood that perfectly.
Guest20: Oh no. Your tongue and fingers must be removed to protect the secret.
Surrealist: Dada! Dada! Dada! Dada!

Eustace: Do give me some idea of what you intend to do.
Tasini: Why, are you to lazy to do it yourself?
Eustace: I am not very agile.

Mictlantecuhtli: Sanasha told me that you likes to take off after ordering drive through. Is that true or should I tell that is a liar?
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: You could try contracting Alzheimer's disease.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: It is not for me to say. You shall die, mortal.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: It is not for me to say.
Arsrilliarsi: Ask me about my adventures.
Mictlantecuhtli: No, Mortal. You do it.
Arsrilliarsi: Eh, me? You know how it goes.
Mictlantecuhtli: Yes, mortals are terribly predictable.

The Dane: I think thoughts beyond the reaches of our souls.
Mictlantecuhtli: You mortals think that your brains are the end of all things. But this is untrue, for I am Your End.
The Dane: Say, why is this?
Mictlantecuhtli: Curiousity takes you only so far. At the end, I stand.
The Dane: Then is doomsday near.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Citipati claims that SHE can do my job! Imagine that! A mere goddess pretending to be Death. It's hard to believe, isn't it?
The Dane: 'Tis too narrow for your mind.

--snip--

The Dane: I pass through nature to eternity.
Mictlantecuhtli: If you have to do that, please have the courtesy to rise and go to the toilet.
The Dane: Fear you that it tempts me toward the flood?