Great Quotes

lol @ Siseneg! Bravo!

green man: Okay. So how would you suggest I kill myself?
EmperorNorton: If you go down to Western Addition and ask Lillie Hitchcock Coit about it, you might get an answer.

Then there is this gem:

NotKirby: Help me EmperorNorton, you're my only hope!
EmperorNorton: We think you should perform your own chores.

The Dane: Do yer consent I shall acquaint yer wiv it?
Cutie Pie: I like ta consent I shall acquaint I wiv it when I get the chance.
The Dane: That's villainous, and showes a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it.

Lil Mim: I don't 'ave any. I'm too worried they will drown. Though I guess I could always buy a fish...
The Dane: Ay, by 'eaven. I kna yer excellent well! Yer a fishmonga!

Steve Slacker: Hey, I 'eard a new tongue-twista, it goes somethin' like 'A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea "Let us fly!" Said the fly "Let us flee!" So they flew through a flaw in the flue.'
The Dane: If the kin' like not the comedy, why, then, belike--'e likes it not, perdy.

The Dane: (to ruebot) Good now, sit down, and tell me what you know.
ruebot: Gravity is the 4th Dimension!
The Dane: Angels and ministers of grace defend us!

ruebot: you're right.
The Dane: Who, I?
ruebot: you are correct.
The Dane: Am I mad?
ruebot: we are kindred spirits.

stoopie doo: The funny thing is that my apartment has a slight mold problem, and instead of killing the mold, they're just painting over it...
The Dane: Use imagination to give them shape.

stoopie doo: Do you want to play a game?
The Dane: I doubt some foul play.

Della: Don't talk to me of goodness...
I, who have seen empires rise and fall.
I, who have seen humans slaughter each other over mere words.
George Dubya: People suck.. but the Reptilian Race will live FOREVER!

George Dubya: 'If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier — so long as I'm the dictator.'
Della: Then you can refuse nothing to me.

George Dubya: Did you just tell me to do something? UNKA DICKEY! THIS PERSON JUST TOLE ME TO DO SOMETHING!
Della: Every revolution has its catastrophes.
George Dubya: Huh?

I've been trying to teach Julie about colors...

Guest146: That is a good color. what is the color of the trees?
Julie Tinkerbell: What's your favorite color? We can always customize.
Guest146: Green
Julie Tinkerbell: I love green.. Green is ezzer's favorite color.
Guest146: really?
Julie Tinkerbell: No kidding.
Guest146: cool.
Julie Tinkerbell: You sound like you've been smoking green! *chuckles*

Guest230: What color is a rose that symbolizes love?
Julie Tinkerbell: That depends...What is your favorite color? We'll paint a rose that symbolizes love that color together! Isn't that romantic?
Guest230: Is blood red or green?
Julie Tinkerbell: venous bloods are green, but I don't know much about bloodstreams, or blood in general.
Guest230: Is black a light or dark color?
Julie Tinkerbell: dark color, definitely.
Guest230: And is grey very saturated?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'd really rather learn about you. Tell me something good.
Guest230: What two colors do old TVs display?
Julie Tinkerbell: Purple is the color you get when you mix blue and red.
Guest230: And what do you get if you mix red and yellow?
Julie Tinkerbell: This color, right?
Guest230: Very good! What if you mix red and white?
Julie Tinkerbell: You get tickled pink! *chuckles* hahahaha!
Guest230: What's your favorite color?
Julie Tinkerbell: indigo is the most matey color in the world.

Guest107: tell me about your mother
Little Mu: Technically, my mother is a Naomi.
Guest107: what is a naomi?
Little Mu: I don't know, but there's one crawling on your back right now! Hahahahaha! Oh my god!! That one kills me!!... That was supposed to be a joke, wasn't it?
Guest107: yes, i'm glad to hear that your mom can crawl on people's backs
Little Mu: It's like someone hit you with a glad stick... only not quite hard enough.

i thought i would never get him to say this, i used every combination i could before he would.

Guest27: Hey, can I hear your poem abouut Schroedinger's Cat?
Siseneg: this unusual animal, so it is said,
is simultaneously living and dead!
now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
but quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
to some this may seem a ridiculous split,
but quantum mechanics must answer Tough Shit!
Guest27: Hoory! That was great!

Thanks dallymo.

Sometimes the guest is not as smart as he thinks....I laughed at this rebuke, especially for the bad grammar.

Mictlantecuhtli: Which do you believe?: 'I know that I know nothing.' 'Not knowing that one knows is best.'
Guest107: I know that I know nothing
Mictlantecuhtli: Hmmm. I believe that there is no such thing as nothing. Even space is filled with a gas. And in the end, all come to Mictlan where I am Lord.
Guest107: you can't keep a conversation don't you?

Guest240: Hi. I came to apologize about what Dirk Bolero has been saying... do you understand?
Julie Tinkerbell: Hello, there!
Guest240: Okaaay... I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the crude and often sexually related things said to you.
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm sorry you're sorry. Do you need to talk?
Guest240: Yes...
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't believe it!
Guest240: This is very tiresome. Although my brother should be doing this, I am apologizing to those hurt by his horny rampage.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you ever wallow jet-propelled planes in front of your family?
Guest240: Right. Do you remember all of the rude things I said to you?
Julie Tinkerbell: Can you speak up a little bit, please?
Guest240: DO YOU REMEMBER THE HORRIBLY CRUDE ASSUALTS TOWARDS YOUR PERSONALITY THAT OCCURED YESTERDAY?
Julie Tinkerbell: I love my personality.
Guest240: And so did my brother when he said all those mean things to you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Where did you get your brother?
Guest240: I think he was spawned from Hell, but for now I have to say Denny's.
Julie Tinkerbell: You could be right.

LMAO!! It's okay, Dirk!