Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I had lots of dirty socks... but now they're clean. Oh, wait! You meant money, right?

*digs in pockets*

Okay, I got $5 here.

Would you guys sober up? As my duty to the truth I must tell you that you are all well beyond the legal drinking limit. I ask that you all take a taxi home or get a ride from someone who is NOT drunk! Remember don't drink and drive! This is a friendly reminder from someone who wants to see you live to see many tomorrows.

Oh I forgot I chip in some money, how about $10 and I'll pay for the taxis to make sure everyone gets home safely. After all you are all drunk and that's not good if some of you are planning on having children in the future. I mean you guys are always hiccuping! That is not the way to be healthy. Drinking alcoholic beverages is SEVERLY UNCOOL!!! I hope you guys sober up and stay clean from drugs except those proscribed by your doctors which you should not abuse or sell to other people. This is for your own good. I promise never to mention it again. But I beg you to stop before you die of alcohol posioning or drug overdose.

*huh* whats going on I must have passed out!!!!
Who are all these people?!?!
(Strange)
"the last thing I remember is Ezzer Doing body shots"

*Pops a couple Alprazolam chased with a shot of Rumbel Mint*
Were you just saying something Truth?

If those are .5's, can I have one? Oh yeah, my head...

Julie if you can't find your old Head I'll make you a new and improved one.
*it will be faster and better then before*
(And it won't fall off)
"You'll just have to wait a few years until I get out of School"

Truth--then what are you doing in a bar?

Gee, I feel all guilty for being such a lush...

*remembers he is a fictional robot*

... Nah, I guess it's no big deal.

*dook, dook, dook*

I don't want a taxi to go home. I'm not going anywhere!

*chugs another beer*

Why go home? This place is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (or however the days/hours go on this planet's orbit)

I think I'm just gonna move in here. I *hic hic* like it here.