Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I did my laundry this weekend!

did you use 'head & shoulders' or 'arm & hammer'?

A little bit of both. And some bleach.

There may not be any lawyers here but there are a lot of drunks here who would need one.

Hi, Lynx77! Yes, this is an accident looking for a place to happen- Julie already lost her head...(please watch where you step/sit until we have found it.)

Maybe if I (hic) yell really loud, we can locate it by following the sound, like how ezzer calls herself when I hide her cell phone...

HEY!!! I'M OVER HERE!!! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!

Too bad Julie's birthday isn't coming up right soon; we could all chip in and buy her The Clapper. Clap on! (head lights up for easy location). Clap off! The Clapper!

We could celebrate her... three month old birthday! That one is coming up.

*digging in pockets*

OK, I've got a gum wrapper, seven cents and a fortune cookie fortune. Anyone else chipping in?

I had lots of dirty socks... but now they're clean. Oh, wait! You meant money, right?

*digs in pockets*

Okay, I got $5 here.

Would you guys sober up? As my duty to the truth I must tell you that you are all well beyond the legal drinking limit. I ask that you all take a taxi home or get a ride from someone who is NOT drunk! Remember don't drink and drive! This is a friendly reminder from someone who wants to see you live to see many tomorrows.

Oh I forgot I chip in some money, how about $10 and I'll pay for the taxis to make sure everyone gets home safely. After all you are all drunk and that's not good if some of you are planning on having children in the future. I mean you guys are always hiccuping! That is not the way to be healthy. Drinking alcoholic beverages is SEVERLY UNCOOL!!! I hope you guys sober up and stay clean from drugs except those proscribed by your doctors which you should not abuse or sell to other people. This is for your own good. I promise never to mention it again. But I beg you to stop before you die of alcohol posioning or drug overdose.