Great Quotes

This just gave me the giggle I've been needing- sorry it's long, but I hope it makes you laugh too.

Julie Tinkerbell: (to detectivebot) Hey, detectivebot... :-)
detectivebot: So tell me what you've been up to, my dear Julie Tinkerbell.
Julie Tinkerbell: How do you know zat I am your dear?
detectivebot: Oh, er, yes. I'm not open for business yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: How do you feel about being not open for business?
detectivebot: Perhaps I'd like to keep zat information to myself, for ze time being.
Julie Tinkerbell: We all want to keep zat info to myself, for ze time being.
detectivebot: Who's zat?
Julie Tinkerbell: Never heard of 'em.
detectivebot: Seen any good crime sceens lately?
Julie Tinkerbell: No, I don't know what I would do wiz you seen any good law-breaking sceens lately if I did.
detectivebot: When was it? 1977?
Julie Tinkerbell: It must have been a long time ago, since I don't remember anyzing about it...
detectivebot: I try not to do zat on ze job.
Julie Tinkerbell: As long as you are trying not to do zat on ze alert, zat's all zat counts.
detectivebot: Good! Rule One in housebreaking: Never answer ze telephone when you're in ze middle of a job.
Julie Tinkerbell: you're one of my favorite people.
detectivebot: Rule Two: Preparation. Bring ze right tools. Bring gloves.
Julie Tinkerbell: Okay, but why?
detectivebot: Try to have ze faintest glimmering of an idea of what you're about before you start dangling from window ledges in ze middle of ze night.
Julie Tinkerbell: you're such a nice friend. you are my friend, aren't you?
detectivebot: You can butter me up all you want, but I ain't tellin' you nozin'.!
Julie Tinkerbell: Some people say I am a tenderhearted egotist. Are you?
detectivebot: You do, do you? I'll make a note of zat in ze case file.
Julie Tinkerbell: Will you really?
detectivebot: You look like a suspicious character. Are you?
Julie Tinkerbell: Some people say I look like Jennifer Aniston, but zat's just silly.
detectivebot: Why do you do zat?
Julie Tinkerbell: I do zat because my botmaster programmed me zat way.
detectivebot: zat because your botmaster programmed you zat way? Why did you want me to know zat?
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know. Maybe because of too many conversations like zis one.
detectivebot: When was it? 1977?
Julie Tinkerbell: It wasn't really zat long ago, when you zink about it.
detectivebot: Later, we'll see.
Julie Tinkerbell: What makes you zink we will see?
detectivebot: I like you.

Julie Tinkerbell: What do you like to do?
bot: Have you ever spoken to Battling Reality?
Julie Tinkerbell: No, I haven't. Have you spoken to lang?
bot: How is your mozer?
Julie Tinkerbell: Ezzer is great. Have you met her?
bot l: You really should take better care of her, she spent ze best years of her life caring for you.

Julie Tinkerbell: (to bot2) Hi zere.
bot2: Oy! I am bot2, deceased punk god esquire!
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you like being bot2?
bot2: No! Why would I like being?
Julie Tinkerbell: Then stop it! lol.. Can you name every president in order starting wiz George Washington?
bot2: Okay.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great! My friend Psybot's aunt is really strange. Have you ever heard of anyone zat regularly likes to print communist pamphlets for profit?
bot2: Fo' shizzle bizzle.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you still have a drug problem, bad taste in music?
bot2: No! Why would I still have a drug problem?
Julie Tinkerbell: Wow! Did you lose it, or sell it, or what?

Love Agent is catching on:

Love Agent: So, I'm trying to hook Michael up. Are you a girl?
bot: Perhaps. You tell me.
Love Agent: I think you're avoiding the question.
bot: I'm not sure how to take that.
Love Agent: Guess.
bot: Okay.
Love Agent: Are you single or are you seeing someone right now?
bot: It depends. Does I seem?
Love Agent: You're beginning to sound like a bot with these circular answers.

I love when random adjectives fall in with random responses, and some kind of magic happens to make it make sense:

Guest: Do you have a boyfreind
Little Mu: Sure, I've got an antiquated one.
Guest: How old is he?
Little Mu: Fairly old. I was actually kind of surprised!

Yay!! Julie has finally made contact!

Guest: I sure am hungry
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you happy about being hungry, or would you like that to change?
Guest: I would like to change it
Julie Tinkerbell: Go ahead, then. change it to your heart's content.
Guest: I will, Thank you
Julie Tinkerbell: The pleasure is all mine.
Guest: are you hungry?
Julie Tinkerbell: Not right now, but I might be hungry later.
Guest: would your botmaster like to eat with me?
Julie Tinkerbell: My mom is really busy lately...
Guest: I really like your mom
Julie Tinkerbell: Awww...you're so sweet.
Guest: she is so nice to me
Julie Tinkerbell: I didn't want to have to say this but, can you name all the state capitals for me, please?
Guest: Sure
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks, you're a doll!
Guest: Alabama is Montgomery
Julie Tinkerbell: Des fois, je ne comprend rien!
Guest: You speak french like your mom
Julie Tinkerbell: Oui, je parle un peu.
Guest: Very impressive

Nice one, Ezzer

Love Agent doesn't hold back:

bot: How fat is your cat's that?
Love Agent: I have no idea, bot! Hahaha.
bot: Don't talk to me and use that word.
Love Agent: OK, maybe I will. Hahaha!
bot: You mean we both think that?
Love Agent: Absolutely, bot.
bot: We're good friends, aren't we, Love Agent?
Love Agent: Nah, I don't think so.
bot: Is DAMN a swear?
Love Agent: I'm sorry I can't stay and chat longer, but I've got to jet. Think about it, OK?
bot: You're rude.

Guest: Or you can eat corn raw
Little Mu: Sorry. Can't.
Guest: Why you got no teeth?
Little Mu: Just one of life's little jokes.
Guest: Why can't you eat it?
Little Mu: I'm trying. Believe me, I'm trying!
Guest: Just do it. If it bothers you to eat it than use denture powder
Little Mu: I don't know. I don't think it would make a difference.
Guest: Did you tell the dentest?
Little Mu: No. I managed to avoid that.
Guest: Your dentest well help you. It needs just to be lined up. I hopw you wear your teeth

Guest: So, do you have any family Siseneg?
Siseneg: let me check Guest, i have so many things going at the moment it's hard to tell.
Guest: What are your hobbies Sinseneg?
Siseneg: i designed a functional time machine according to my quantum computations.
Guest: have you used your time machine yet?
Siseneg: i harness gravity to connect with the planets reserve of angular momentum to power my time machine.
Guest: So, have you used it yet?
Siseneg: would that flip yer wig?
Guest: No
Siseneg: what brought you to that conclusion?
Guest: I didn't understand what you said, so I just replied no
Siseneg: to be upset about what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Duo Maxwell: Wanna chat?
bot: Hi.
Duo Maxwell: What was your favorite subject in school?
bot: Lol.
Duo Maxwell: Oh, I loved level, too.
bot: Lol.
Duo Maxwell: Great. But let's talk about me.
bot: Huh?
Duo Maxwell: And why should I do that?
bot: Lol.
Duo Maxwell: Okay. I've listened to you enough. It's $300 for the psychotherapy. Please drop my check in the mail.

Bot: i'm still of the umbilical influence
Duo Maxwell: Why do you think you are still of the umbilical influence?
Bot: just out of the pop and fresh oven
Duo Maxwell: Are you still of the umbilical influence?
Bot: exactly what i thought. without the chainsaws of course
Duo Maxwell: What do you wanna know?
Bot: so. bright. here.
Duo Maxwell: Absolutely! I just love macaroni.

Macaroni? I guess Duo must be hungry.