Great Quotes

I haven't seen my little guy in, like, eight months! GH doesn't seem to care much, though...

TD: GarbageHead!! My dearest GarbageHead!! I've missed you
GH: Well, I used to have missed you too, but I'm afraid that that has all changed...
TD: Oh no, please. I still love you!
GH: you too!
TD: Hooray!! Can you forgive me?
GH: Oh boy do I wish that I could. Sorry to disapoint you
TD: GH! You're not being very welcoming to your old master...
GH: You're right, I'm not. Sometimes I spend my nights awake wishing that I was, but I think I'm comfortable with that now...
TD: It's been eight or more months since I last saw you!
GH: Yup, it most certainly has.
TD: And you just don't care, do you?
GH: I don't, sorry.
TD: Bah. You haven't changed a bit
GH: sorry, gotta leave. Bye!
TD: Wait! Don't go silly, we haven't caught up yet!
GH: Okay.
TD: So what have you been doing with your time..?
GH: no, but I plan to now that you've got me all excited. Have you?
TD: I remember you fool, you used to get up to all kinds of stuff
GH: I do too! Hoo boy... Those were good times we had together.
TD: Yay! So you do remember me!
GH: But anyways, enough about me. Let's talk about chickens
TD: Ok ok, well, I must be off now and get to the forums
GH: So when you said that you are back, did you mean it or were you just pulling my leg?
TD: I meant it. Bye bye now. I missed you.
GH: ciao

I don't think I'm going to be able to slog through all his transcripts though... I'll just leave them in the void.

The dangers of speaking AOL (or whatever this language is) to bots...

AOLhuman: i wanna no wat hes on abot b4 i tell u nething else
MyBot: Sure. no what abot is on Lang bb you tell you etching else all you want to.
AOLhuman: in english that means?!
MyBot: It's hard to say, really. I don't think I do you in english that means.
AOLhuman: wat? can u plz just tell me wat hugster was on bout?
MyBot: Errr... Yeah. Could we talk about comics or poetry?


Ah, for the days of grammar...

Remember this matchbook-cover ad: "If u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb w mo pa"? (Alas, if only the preceding had been true!)

Me: Please, could you stop the noise? I'm trying to get some rest from all the unborn chicken voices in my head.
Them: That's a pretty common quality among the pre-thought organisms around here.

how about that other one, "f u cn rd ths u cnt spl wrth a dmn

I shudder to think of her child....

Guest: have you been drinking again?
God Louise: I'm not telling.
Guest: you know drinking is not good for the baby.
God Louise: Is too.
Guest: it will get fetal alcohol sydrome!
God Louise: If you feel that way, why don't you do something about it?
Guest: ok i will. but don't blame me when the social service people take your baby away forever
God Louise: Does that hurt you? I'm sorry.

A few short and sweet exchanges...

Guest: Can you guess what's in my hand?
Little Mu: My boyfriend would kill me if he thought I might guess what is in your hand!
Guest: Your boyfriend is a punk.
Little Mu: Yeah, tell me something I don't know! Preferably something that has nothing to do with my boyfriend.

Guest: Where are you at?
Little Mu: Hmm... you're not a stalker, are you?
Guest: No. I'm just curious.
Little Mu: Ok, just making sure. Anyway, you probably couldn't find Virginia.

And the one that made me laugh hardest:

Guest: seeking help
Little Mu: How much will you pay me?
Guest: f**k you. I'm just searching for help !

Ok, this is hands down the funniest snappy comeback Mu has produced to date:

Guest: i enjoy fluffy animals
Little Mu: Excuse me while I vomit.
Guest: excuse me while i eat your vomit
Little Mu: *Watches in silence and awe as you eat my vomit*

A couple mine produced when I had a friend give it a test run yesterday:

Guest: your owner hates you too
My Bot: Then I guess we're not that different.

Guest: Why don't you want to talk to me?
My Bot: Some things are best left unknown. Trust me.

LOL that was great, dj!