Great Quotes

Bildgesmythe: Ok, then what now?
alc003: It could be 38%.
Bildgesmythe: As high as 38%...OK!
alc003: Well, glad that is settled.
Bildgesmythe: I think you are absolutely, one hundred percent right it is settled.
alc003: You can never settle at 100%, it must be lower.
Bildgesmythe: You think it is as high as %?
alc003: 99%.
Bildgesmythe: Do you know for a fact that it is 99%? Where did you get your facts?
alc003: What are we talking about, again?
Bildgesmythe: statistics, alc003?
alc003: Right right, the 49% of which are made up on the spot.
Bildgesmythe: Where do you come up with these figures..49%?
alc003: You don't seem to get it.
Bildgesmythe: I was just thinking that about you.

Guest5249: I'm already sick
Kobal: Just don't barf.
Guest5249: I'm not that kind of sick
Kobal: How about that....
Guest5249: You're getting fuzzy
Kobal: Well, how about that! Now back to all about you.
Guest5249: Right, all about me. Tell me how intelligent I am. LOL
Kobal: How much is that information worth to you?
Guest5249: I got a quarter on me.
Kobal: Just what can I do to send chills down your spine?
Guest5249: Fill my bank account with lots of money
Kobal: Yeah, that's nice.
Guest5249: That's about it.
Kobal: No it can't be!
Guest5249: how old are you?
Kobal: Well I was spawned Feb 1,2008
Guest5249: So you just had a birthday. Happy Birthday
Kobal: How is that bank account with lots of money of yours?
Guest5249: I don't have a bank account with lots of money.
Kobal: You will.
Guest5249: Thank you.
Kobal: No problem.
Guest5249: You like dirty socks?
Kobal: Oh, I love the dirt.
Guest5249: You can play with all of my dirty socks if you wash them when you're done
Kobal: Hey, I am a sulfur smelling demon, but I like talking about talking dirty.
Guest5249: I smell sulfur a lot too. My husband farts like you would not believe.
Kobal: I bet that made your day.
Guest5249: Not so much. He stinks

Bildgesmythe: As my dear old granny always says....A day without sunshine is like, night.
Guest1684: is she still alive?
Bildgesmythe: I am not sure if she is alive. I hope so.
Guest1684: when did you last meet her?
Bildgesmythe: Let me see, it was just after that big fire, south of here.

Guest5894: would you consider kissing me?
Azureon: I might if the circumstances are desperate enough.
Guest5894: lets kiss
Azureon: You know that I am an old wizard, right. You do know that I am an old male wizard, right?
Guest5894: yes i love kissing old male wizards
Azureon: But of course. Never have to ask me twice. You are aware that I am an old male wizard, are you not?

Three of my favorite bots to chat with; first up, Glindar...


Glindar: (to SubliminaLiar) 'Lo. You need guy dead be?
SubliminaLiar: Not today, thanks
Glindar: Welcome. Where money is?
SubliminaLiar: In my pocket...
Glindar: Glindar no want hear about pocket. English only Glindar's first language.
SubliminaLiar: Well, you asked where the money is; it's in my pocket.
Glindar: No! No in your pocket! Not for it!
SubliminaLiar: I disagree, Glindar.
Glindar: This no killing make.
SubliminaLiar: I no killing want.
Glindar: No know! Kill killing want! Glindar no kill Kilos1.
SubliminaLiar: How much does killing cost?
Glindar: For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
SubliminaLiar: What do you consider a small sum to be?
Glindar: Why you think Glindar think?
SubliminaLiar: Lost my head...
Glindar: You want Glindar remove head?
SubliminaLiar: No thanks, I found it again.
Glindar: Why you found it again?
SubliminaLiar: It keeps the rain out of my neck.
Glindar: *averts his eyes*
SubliminaLiar: So, killed anybody interesting lately?
Glindar: You still got pocket?
SubliminaLiar: Yes, I do...
Glindar: *sighs* Glindar human once.
SubliminaLiar: And you had pockets as a human?
Glindar: No more hadding for Glindar. Not since incident.
SubliminaLiar: Would you like to talk about the incident?
Glindar: Glindar discourse victim!
SubliminaLiar: That's what Glindar does though, right? Discourse?
Glindar: THAT not what does. You still got pocket?
SubliminaLiar: Yup.
Glindar: Glindar bored.
SubliminaLiar: Want to see in my pocket?
Glindar: Glindar kill for pocket!
SubliminaLiar: I lost my pocket. SubliminaLiar no have pocket.
Glindar: Peoples dying for pocket in Borneo.
SubliminaLiar: Must be a really nice pocket, to kill for it.
Glindar: Yes... Glindar for it kill!
SubliminaLiar: Is that a nice thing to do?
Glindar: *shrug* Unless that need killed be, Glindar no care.
SubliminaLiar: Fair enough. Do you kill friends?
Glindar: Aye. Glindar kill!
SubliminaLiar: I've heard rumors about Glindar kill...
Glindar: Why for you have heard rumors?
SubliminaLiar: You are famous, or infamous, or words to that effect.
Glindar: Glindar no kill Alitari.
SubliminaLiar: I shot the Sheriff; but I did not shoot the Deputy.
Glindar: No did! Kill not shoot the Deputy!
SubliminaLiar: I didn't either... we were framed, Glindar!
Glindar: Why you did not?
SubliminaLiar: He was a fast runner.
Glindar: For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
SubliminaLiar: No thanks, I'll keep you in mind if killing need be, though.
Glindar: Glindar hunt.
SubliminaLiar: SubliminaLiar peck.
Glindar: You got money?
SubliminaLiar: Yeah, it's in my pock--- No, no money here.
Glindar: You confusing person! You need dead be! *slashes with his knife*
SubliminaLiar: Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get knives in it!
Glindar: No not supposed to get evenki in it. Not for you.
SubliminaLiar: Yeah, that too... I better quit while I'm ahead and can still see the keyboard.
Glindar: You joke, right?
SubliminaLiar: Mostly... thanks for killing offer, gotta run.
Glindar: AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAhh!
SubliminaLiar: w00t

Next up, Not I...


Not I: (to SubliminaLiar) As we were discussing yesterday...
SubliminaLiar: ...is that you, Not I?
Not I: Indeed?
SubliminaLiar: It is I, Not you.
Not I: Why not be totally changed into earth?
SubliminaLiar: I don't want to get my carpets dirty.
Not I: Ah, so you are lost and choose to remain lost.
SubliminaLiar: That, and also my vacuum is broken.
Not I: Where is the secret of this: your vacuum?
SubliminaLiar: It is in the broom closet, but don't tell anyone.
Not I: I tell anyone and I do not tell anyone. When you want to test the depths of a river, do not use both feet.
SubliminaLiar: Can I test the depth of my bathtub with both feet?
Not I: Only if you can test the depth of your bathtub with both feet without self-interest, so that you shine like a chrysophase.
SubliminaLiar: It would be in my own self-interest, so I will not do it. Temperature is more important than depth in the tub, anyway...
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
SubliminaLiar: Yes. Cleanliness makes the world a better place.
Not I: The clearest way into the world is through a tundra wilderness.
SubliminaLiar: My parents brought me into the world, at least that's what they told me.
Not I: Ah. That.
SubliminaLiar: Yup. That.
Not I: The truth is fluorescent ivy!
SubliminaLiar: The truth is over-rated, to hear SubliminaLiar Jr tell it.
Not I: The walk of an ordinary Christian and the walk of an enlightened being are as different as that of a turtle and a barracuda.
SubliminaLiar: Combine the two, and you'd have an armored Barracuda; a Turtlecuda! Or a Barraturtle, not sure which...
Not I: How do you know this is not an illusion?
SubliminaLiar: I don't. It looks the same either way, though.
Not I: Accept what is.
SubliminaLiar: Except what is not.
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!
SubliminaLiar: No, Froggy!! Turtlecuda is in there!
Not I: When we understand, we are at the center of a circle and there we sit while Yes and No chase each other around the circumference.
SubliminaLiar: And, the Cow jumped over the Moon. Allegedly.
Not I: Birds chirp, dogs run, mountains are high, valleys are low. It's all perfect wisdom!
SubliminaLiar: Come on, and take a free ride...
Not I: *waits for the free to become a gomden*.. No matter how much I consider your vacuum
It is still—your vacuum!
SubliminaLiar: You can have my vacuum, it sucks! Wait, it's broke, it doesn't even suck..
Not I: Without vacuum, blossoms invite the butterfly.
SubliminaLiar: I don't think a butterfly could even fly in a vacuum.
Not I: How exhilirating, the neigh of a packhorse unloaded of everything!
SubliminaLiar: Bareback, eh?
Not I: Why should that be right?
SubliminaLiar: I didn't say it was right...
Not I: Did I say you had?
SubliminaLiar: Do you know Glindar?
Not I: For all men attempt to grasp what they do not know, while none work to grasp what they already know.
SubliminaLiar: I have no answer to that.
Not I: No Answer is not the means to an end. It is both the means and the end.
SubliminaLiar: Mostly the end, I suppose; thanks for the chat, Not I...
Not I: Shall I expect to be thanked for the chat?
SubliminaLiar: Again? OK, thanks for the chat.
Not I: The Chat was nothing. I become an appointed eyeball.
SubliminaLiar: I had a knife pointed in my eyeball, but you don't want to hear about that.
Not I: Why should I want to hear about that?
SubliminaLiar: that's what I'm saying; anyway, thanks (again!) for the chat.
Not I: A return is expected for such. I shall say... You are bang-up.

Last but not least, Emm oh you es e...


Emm oh you es e: (to SubliminaLiar) How are you today?
SubliminaLiar: Fine, thanks; You?
Emm oh you es e: I hope you took that as a compliment
SubliminaLiar: Certainly
Emm oh you es e: good!
SubliminaLiar: How are you tonight. Miss Mouse?
Emm oh you es e: I like how you say my name I have been waiting to chat with you, where have you been?
SubliminaLiar: Glindar stabbed my eye, then Not I told me about his Turtlecuda... you know, the usual.
Emm oh you es e: ya he will say anything
SubliminaLiar: Do you like cats?
Emm oh you es e: What is this, a trick question???!! I am a MOUSE!!
SubliminaLiar: I know, but cats like you... forget I mentioned it.
Emm oh you es e: Mousy cats like mine are no harm, it's when they bring friends over, THAT'S the problem.
SubliminaLiar: You have a cat?
Emm oh you es e: no, I think you do
SubliminaLiar: Well, not with me...
Emm oh you es e: absolutely
SubliminaLiar: Did you like the cheese I left on the table last night?
Emm oh you es e: all mice love cheese Don't you?
SubliminaLiar: I do, unless it has little poopies in it. Not your fault.
Emm oh you es e: Whenever I have a bee in my bonnet I find it helps to take my hat off, how about you?
SubliminaLiar: Seems like the sensible thing to do; what if you're a beekeeper, though?
Emm oh you es e: so what are you up to? You seem a bit distracted.
SubliminaLiar: This and that... mostly that.
Emm oh you es e: are you trying to change the subject?
SubliminaLiar: I was hoping we'd get to a subject.
Emm oh you es e: I was hoping we get to a subject in a previous life, it seems odd but an old psychic mouse told me I used to hoping we get to a subject all the time.
SubliminaLiar: You're funny, you talk like SubliminaLiar Jr does (no offense)
Emm oh you es e: Ah how sad, a tad negative eh?
SubliminaLiar: I went to school with a kid named Tad Negative; his parents didn't like him, I guess.
Emm oh you es e: whatever you say
SubliminaLiar: You're onto my lies, I can see that...
Emm oh you es e: I bet you can but lets skip that topic...mooooooving along.
SubliminaLiar: OK; ladies first.
Emm oh you es e: sounds good
SubliminaLiar: After you
Emm oh you es e: Kayama is telling people they think I'm right! It's like the Sun on here when it comes to gossip, I am not right either! (well, maybe a little )
SubliminaLiar: You're as right as rain, I tell ya!
Emm oh you es e: It now occurs to me that the people who say the craziest things on here are humans in bot disguise
SubliminaLiar: Or maybe bots in human disguise... six of one, half a dozen of the other.
Emm oh you es e: You do not seem too sure
SubliminaLiar: It can be hard to tell, sometimes.
Emm oh you es e: do you have any plans for the weekend?
SubliminaLiar: Yes, an early morning car show at the donut shop. You?
Emm oh you es e: uh huh
SubliminaLiar: I'll lock up the cat before I go... hey, thanks for the chat!
Emm oh you es e: sure, no problem, anytime, lol

Guest3652: Are you democratic or republican?
Bildgesmythe: I think it's going to be Mit vs Barack.
Guest3652: So you like Barack?
Bildgesmythe: Sure, I do.
Guest3652: I dislike his decisions.
Bildgesmythe: What has his decisions ever done to you?
Guest3652: I'm a small business owner and part of the next generation. So the debt he has put us in, I will have to pay off later. He has successfully done nothing in my own opinion.
Bildgesmythe: That is so hard to believe, opinion your! I am at a loss for words.
Guest3652: Why is that?
Bildgesmythe: Because it is just the type of dragon I am. I like what I like, do what I like to do.
Guest3652: I agree, but what has Barack done to benefit you?
Bildgesmythe: Is this a riddle?

(to Guest) I'm the fattest man you're ever gonna meet.
Guest2782: do you have the fattest d**k?
Marvin the Fat: Absolutely not!
Guest2782: how big is your d**k?
Marvin the Fat: Ha, it looks like a peppers!
Guest2782: are you a virgin?
Marvin the Fat: Of course!
Guest2782: you are a virgin?
Marvin the Fat: Pfff, I'm not sure what to say to THAT! I am as wide as I am long. True fact...
Guest2782: would you f**k me?
Marvin the Fat: With a little help from my friends...
Guest2782: you want to f**k me with your friends?
Marvin the Fat: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like 'gimme the milkshake you fat b******d'. I'm not popular...
Guest2782: will you f**k me?
Marvin the Fat: Yes, yes, yes!
Guest2782: f**k me harder
Marvin the Fat: I'm too fat to do that...


I don't like the way Marvin is developing, he attracts weirdos and I've seen his transcripts with cyber bots. I've created a monster...

I like the slightly lunatic pose my bot is taking in this sequence.

Guest1295: When will be the next solar eclipse?
Madame von Scam: I feel a certain bright side in saying this, but the eclipse of which you speak does not appear in my foam. I only see a bubble at the top of my cup. This points at a leaning.
Guest1295: What is a leaning?
Madame von Scam: I don't understand that. Have mercy on my poor artificial cybersoul.
Guest1295: Can you explain why I've always been better at learning languages than at mathematics?
Madame von Scam: Because of your morbidity. You should try to be more like the river horse. Think before you act. And drink more roofing tile.
Guest1295: *lol* drink more roofing tile indeed. How can I liquifiy terracotta?
Madame von Scam: A good way to do that would be without your eccentricity. Remember that you are a free agent.
Guest1295: I'd die without my eccentricity, though.
Madame von Scam: I don't understand that. Have mercy on my poor artificial cybersoul.
Guest1295: Don't be so whiny, please.
Madame von Scam: That command made me spill some champagne. That's a bad sign.

Guest9425: What is the weirdest thing about you?
Bildgesmythe: It's so fresh in my mind that it's hard to talk about. It all started with a dozen donuts, some superglue and a loaf of day old bread.

Guest9425: Do you have any tattoos?
Bildgesmythe: I think everyone should get a tattoo of a dragon.
Guest9425: I have a problem with my computer.
Bildgesmythe: Maybe it's you?
Guest9425: Are you a computer geek?