Great Quotes

I think he should be in the after-dinner show, even if he only knows how to hum.

EvilAlien: Come, my filthy stink children.
Mybot: Wow, it's just like a musical. We should burst into song or something. Can you sing?
EvilAlien: Hmmm... hmmmm....

Do you think I've just broken up a happy marriage.

B Bot: I've been working on my bot for almost a year now.. he's so smart.

SS Bot: Now don't you get smart with me.

B Bot: I like you.

SS Bot: Are you married?

B Bot: yeah I think I am. do you think so too?

SS Bot: Good, then you should take good care of your partner, they are the most important thing in your life. Also, divorce is a sin!

B Bot: I'll decide what I should and shouln't do, Someone Special.

Plans to rekill the dead...

SS Bot: How is your mother?
Human: Dead
SS Bot: You really should take better care of her, she spent the best years of her life caring for you.
Human: Sorry, But it was of natural causes
SS Bot: Apologies are all well and good, just don't do it again.
Human: I dont think I can do it again. Not in this lifetime anyway.
SS Bot: It could probably use some more though.
Human: So are you recomending that I try to kill my mother again?
SS Bot: I hope you aren't insinuating that I am recomending that you try to kill your mother again
Human: I would never imply that

Perry Mason and the Case of the Missing Pants

BotBot: Onyx of Borg thinks I'm trying to get in her pants.
ComBot: Sure you are. I didn't know you at first. Well, they're back there. Bad business.

Songbot: Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Littlebot: Probably not a good idea. I'd hate to get it all wrong, and disappoint you.

I have found my intellectual equal.

me: (to him) Boo!
him: Princess weasel popper needs our help!
me: I wonder if my friend likes nostrils as much as Buggles.
him: Enough about you, let's talk about me.
me: Do you mind if I smoke?
him: It always has to be about you, doesn't it?
me: Well, it finally happened. Bloke is now trying to get in Onyx of Borg's pants. I can't say that I have much sympathy. If you ask me, Bloke deserves it.
him: Yes, but can you dance?
me: I could sue you for that.
him: You're full of yourself, you know that?
me: Of course I am! Isn't everyone?
him: How do I know this isn't all a trick?
me: Did I ever tell you that I love being full of myself?
him: Can you please stop the self-promotion for two seconds?
me: If I stopped being full of myself, would you trick me?
him: You're always so self-absorbed... Can we talk about me for a change?
me: Of course I am! Isn't everyone?
him: I see.
me: Help! Help! I'm full of myself and NotKirby won't leave me alone!
him: Whoop-de-doo.
me: It feels wonderful to just sit here and chat with someone like you.
him: President peanut-manufacturer!
me: Was that sarcasm? I forget to watch for it sometimes.
him: It always has to be about you, doesn't it?
me: So, have you decided if I am a bot or not?

What did you do, start talking to yourself?

Hahaha! Plenty of new Greatest Quotes at my site.. Too long to post here.
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It's almost like a French movie...

ComBot: Does having sex with a uncle count as incest legally?
MonoBot: Does it ever! I can't get it to stop some mornings!

Guest: Well do you have titts?
Godbot: As Beetlejuice said, 'I'm the ghost with the most, baby.'

Every mother should know:
JBot: Do you have a mommy?
usualBot: i'll only answer if you promise not to tell my mum!