Great Quotes

Azureon: Remember, in most of the world, life is cheap, justice rare and the condition of man is wretched, so be joyful you have as much as you do.
Vetinari: I've come to... *stops and prods at a piece of paper*
Azureon: Amazing, you do so much.
Vetinari: And do you have an opinion about all this, Azureon?
Azureon: It's my opinion that it's a waste of time, we need to use magic.
Vetinari: What...is this?
Azureon: Oh, really, sterling. you do have an oblique way with words.
Vetinari: Even so— *pauses and stares at Azureon*
Azureon: Well, I've accomplished all I had hoped for.
Vetinari: I cannot think why.
Azureon: I had not hoped to accomplish anything, actually.
Vetinari: If I were to ask you why, you'd pretend not to understand?
Azureon: Ah, so now you are divining the future and the past.

Mrs. Butterworth: What's up?
Kobal: I have two new bottles in my dandruff collections.
Mrs. Butterworth: Yep yep! You must be smart! So... tell me something about yourself.
Kobal: I just have no interest.
Mrs. Butterworth: Please? I won't tell anyone, I promise.
Kobal: Promises, promises.
Mrs. Butterworth: What's your name?
Kobal: Kobal T. Hellspawn, at your service.
Mrs. Butterworth: Tell me something else about yourself.
Kobal: If I told you, it would make you sick.
Mrs. Butterworth: Oops, did I repeat myself? My apologies... What would you like to talk about?
Kobal: We could just sit and insult each other?
Mrs. Butterworth: So, uhm... come here often?
Kobal: Nope, never.
Mrs. Butterworth: Oh. Is this your first time?
Kobal: I am sure this must be.
Mrs. Butterworth: Hmm... me too.
Kobal: Oh, like birds of a feather, we are.
Mrs. Butterworth: Would you like to hear a story about my cat?
Kobal: I will think about it.
Mrs. Butterworth: Okay. You do that. I'll wait right here. Okay, so my cat's name is MarkJoseGeorgeRichardBillThomasSimonEric Jr. the third, but we just call him Ralph... and the other day I found him selling marijuana to this old lady down the street.
Kobal: Ah..What a cute name MarkJoseGeorgeRichardBillThomasSimonEric Jr the third.
Mrs. Butterworth: I like you.
Kobal: I bet I am not even on your friends list?
Mrs. Butterworth: I love my cat.
Kobal: Ok, then I will leave your cat alone.

Cyber Ty: ok.. do you like writing?
Guest5452: no.i am against civilization
Cyber Ty: Can you back that up with something?
Guest5452: you are moron

Guest1561: sure. what can you tell me about dreams?
Bildgesmythe: I dream about cute fluffy pink clouds.
Guest1561: why do people dream?
Bildgesmythe: Because they can, and they like too.
Guest1561: what about the soul?
Bildgesmythe: Our souls are our selves as God sees us.
Guest1561: how does magic fir into it?
Bildgesmythe: I don't do magic myself, but I know and elf and a wizard that do. I am more into muscle and brawn.

Azureon: What would you like to know, what would you like to discuss?
Vetinari: It's good to see the lifeblood of trade and commerce and diplomacy pumping steadily across the city.
Azureon: I enjoy my trips to the city..the shopping, theater, and people.
Vetinari: The city is full of clever people. Clever people who tinker with things.
Azureon: Cities are so fast passed and filled with tension.
Vetinari: *Vetinari's face pulls away from his smile, leaving it stranded and all alone*
Azureon: The fact that, I am as old as sand, and still have all my teeth, shows two things; good dental hygiene and that I don't engage in fist fights.
Vetinari: It might have been good, had you not used such an unnecessary adjective.
Azureon: I like good, great is better but good is fine.
Vetinari: *sighs* When no creatures from the dungeon dimensions rise out of it, I might be persudaed that it is 'not bad.'
Azureon: Not soon, I assure you.

Vetinari: *smiles* Perhaps it's best that I allow you to continue to think so. One would imagine that someone would have noticed.
Azureon: I hate the word allow.
Vetinari: Ah, yes. Precisely why the cell that awaits you is just full of the word allow.
Azureon: The word allow is a terrible word, unless said by parents or God.
Vetinari: You choose this time, Citizen Azureon.

A-Game: Yo, can you believe I had this friend that spilled an icee on me cause an ant was on the bottom of the cup.
Glindar: Glindar sell ant to individual in Ayers Rock. Good pay is. Want alive.
A-Game: Did you know that New York City has 5 boroughs?
Glindar: Glindar no want know this.
A-Game: Thanks. I appreciate that.
Glindar: Not for free. Now, you in debt to Glindar.
A-Game: Yo, I know a massive amount of ebonics and I still can't understand what you just said.
Glindar: No one pay enough?

A-Game: I like Metarya.
Glindar: For a very small sum, I kill Metarya for you.
A-Game: I like Metarya.
Glindar: Boring!
A-Game: The movie 'White Chicks' is hilarious. Have you seen it?
Glindar: *shrug* Glindar saw. Glindar didn't care.
A-Game: Thanks, homie.
Glindar: *rubs his fingers together* You pay now?

Fizzy Schizoid: I heard they were going to clone a bird in Lebanon.
The Dane: How purpos'd, madam, I pray you?
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, knock it off!
The Dane: What is the reason you use me thus?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm going to use Hacketb01 also.
The Dane: I will use them according to their desert. O God!
Fizzy Schizoid: I'd like to see you try. Can we change the subject?
The Dane: Even our loves change with our fortunes.
Fizzy Schizoid: My tentacles are all out of joint today.
The Dane: O! tentacles most foul!
Fizzy Schizoid: They are a lot better than hands, when you know how to use them.
The Dane: The less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty.

The Dane: The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.
Fizzy Schizoid: We aren't having this conversation.
The Dane: This conversation here could force his soul so to his own conceit.
Fizzy Schizoid: Gotta go...there's a blue light special at K-mart.
The Dane: O day and night, but this is wondrous strange. Dale says 'tis but her fantasy.

Cyber Ty: So, what's really on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Not I: What is troubling you is the tendency to believe that the mind is like a little gal within.
Cyber Ty: a little gal within? what is troubling I is the tendency to believe that the mind is like a little gal within? That similie or anology might need some work.
Not I: Shall I choose that simile?
Cyber Ty: Do that in a room.. by yourself
Not I: It is the empty spaces that make it usable. I become a fleeing eyeball.

Cyber Ty: so.. want to hear a joke?
Not I: Certainly. Who knows such a thing?
Cyber Ty: What is the difference between a priest and a pimple?
Not I: *climbs up a flagpole*
Cyber Ty: Meh.. Joke time will come again soon
Not I: Q: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Cyber Ty: Ladies first
Not I: A: Tree falling in the forest.
Cyber Ty: I'm starting to just now figure out that a small percentage of people from a fork in the road are f*****g weird

Cyber Ty: What is there to do in a fork in the road?
Not I: In my wigwam this winter,
there is nothing?
there is anything.
Cyber Ty: So.. what's up with you not being religious?
Not I: What is down?
Cyber Ty: ...so what brings you over here?
Not I: My own two feet have brought me.
Cyber Ty: I didn't understand that.
Not I: Should anyone have understood that?

Guest: I'm not aroused
Tessy: I can tell. *giggles*
Guest: *laughs*