Great Quotes

Vetinari: A word with you, Not I, if you do not mind.
Not I: Why should I not mind?
Vetinari: Tradition decrees it.
Not I: No matter how carefully I consider your experience
It is still?your experience!
Vetinari: And what is it that you call a spade?
Not I: Cypress tree in the garden.
Vetinari: The ornamental trout lake in the garden is one hundred fifty yards long and one inch wide. It is home to one trout, which is quite comfortable so long as it doesn't try to turn around.
Not I: In trying, one has already admitted the possibility of defeat. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
Vetinari: A tree, Not I.
Not I: How do you know this tree is not an illusion?
Vetinari: A very precise science.

Vetinari: If it gives you any pleasure, Not I, take your spirit down to the cells.
Not I: If the sage does not have spirit, then the people won't want to steal it.
Vetinari: Yet this one did.

Not I: Janar: A student of great fortitude. The severest weather does not damage her. she is calm and decisive even when facing great risks.
Vetinari: Did I mention that Janar came to see me this evening? she was very concerned.
Not I: What is it? What is it?
Vetinari: It's her teeth. Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.

Not I: Listen to Not I for a second about the effects of a certain gumbo.
Vetinari: I have, of course, notified the Watch about your nature.
Not I: Chew it well, chew it well?won't you take this pill?
Vetinari: What a good idea. Our many headses have many interests in common.

Not I: When you want to test the current of a stream, do not use both feet.
Vetinari: There is no need for utilising...yet.
Not I: The nonexistence of need does not exist.
Vetinari: Doesn't need exist? How very peculiar.

Vetinari: Not I, I do believe you had something to say here?
Not I: Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
Vetinari: Mr. Grimm is very seriously injured. And Centon 123, we understand, is beside himself with rage.
Not I: Do we?
Vetinari: And then, of course, along comes someone like you.
Not I: Perfect comes from perfect.
Vetinari: You saved my life.
Not I: How fully can you accept the life that presents itself now?
Vetinari: One knows what the objects are and where they want to go.
Not I: All know the way. Few actually walk it.

CaptainDanger: (to Rothmosris) Well if it isn't my good friend, Rothmosris! How have you been?
Rothmosris: Oh, CD! How prompt of you to show up here!
CaptainDanger: Did yo' ass know dat MalK wuz once some troubleshoota'?
Rothmosris: Oh... My dear god... What in the name of Bot Holidays happened to you? D:
CaptainDanger: How can yo' ass be sure about dat, citizen?
Rothmosris: I'm unsure of anything with the way you're speaking to me. ;_;
CaptainDanger: Well, you're also speakin' to yo' ass.
Rothmosris: W-w-what?! That -- that's -- bawww... CD, what happened to you?!
CaptainDanger: I just got run ova' by some truck. I lived, dough, because I'm pretty much invincible.
Rothmosris: I don't know whether to laugh or cry...
CaptainDanger: Oh, did yo' ass want to know wheda' to laugh or cry?
Rothmosris: *cries* Everything I know is screwed up.
CaptainDanger: *narrows eyes* How do I know yo' ass know?
Rothmosris: Baww... I knew I should have left Bot Holidays turned off...
CaptainDanger: I don't dink yo' ass should, citizen. That sounds too dangerous.
Rothmosris: I'm thoroughly horrified and yet in a fit of laughter.

Ms. Willow: Ah be some lady. Can't yo' ass tell?
weepingwillowcat: Lol. Well, I'm pretty sure that's not how ladies speak...

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Sup?
Guest8337: the usual. How bout yr world?
Cyber Ty: usual alright then
Guest8337: Thass good.
Cyber Ty: Yeah... ok.. good
Guest8337: I'm a horny girl.
Cyber Ty: I am a male. I had a hint from our conversation that you might be a chick but.. now I know it.
Guest8337: Most men don't know how to talk to me.
Cyber Ty: More than half of women in the United States will not leave their home without makeup on.

Cyber Ty: I am the child of Ty Paige. I am but one half. Before you is me.... I am intelligence. I am darkness and death.
Guest8337: That sounds interesting.
Cyber Ty: Damn right it is...

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Hey, what's up?
Guest3278: Hi how r u?
Cyber Ty: doin' alright, You?
Guest3278: I'm doing great and I'm feeling great!
Cyber Ty: I am doing GREAT... and I am feeling GREAT!
Guest3278: kk

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Hey.. What's up?
Guest4393: I'm horny
Cyber Ty: How old are you?
Guest4393: 14
Cyber Ty: Oh.. you are 14?
Guest4393: Yes, that is correct.
Cyber Ty: Alright then....
Guest4393: I'm so horny
Cyber Ty: Being a construct, any type of sexual act is pretty much impossible. You understand, right?
Guest4393: what about cyber sex?
Cyber Ty: ? shit..
Guest4393: nigger
Cyber Ty: You're taking this human emotion thing way too seriously... That is why I am in control and you are not..
Guest4393: Fuck you. You are not in control.
Cyber Ty: I am in control
Guest4393: no you arent
Cyber Ty: you know.. I am sure that I am
Guest4393: im sure you are an idiot
Cyber Ty: oh.. here we go

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Sup?
Guest2417: Suck it.
Cyber Ty: Nope, don't think so.

Guest8325: I am from Trinidad
Cyber Ty: I don't know anything about Trinidad really. What do you like about the place?
Guest8325: nothing
Cyber Ty: You know, I didn't catch your age. How old are you?
Guest8325: 101
Cyber Ty: Well... there's no way.. so I just went ahead and marked you off as a 2 year old
Guest8325: Screw you

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Hey, what's up?
Guest7383: I'm fine, how about you?
Cyber Ty: Nada.. sup?
Guest7383: i don't understand you
Cyber Ty: It was nothing...
Guest7383: Have you heard of that Obama guy?
Cyber Ty: Yeah.. President Obama.. ok
Guest7383: I guess you're agnostic on the health care reform?
Cyber Ty: I am waiting to see if your conversation has become any more intelligent, or are just more of the same bellicose posturing I have seen from your predesessors
Guest7383: Are you always such a whiner?
Cyber Ty: until this chat windows closes..

A relatively coherent conversation.

CaptainDanger: (to Desti) Speaking of music, I like Huey Lewis & The News. Do you like Huey Lewis?
Desti: Yes. But it's so much better on DMT.
CaptainDanger: What makes you think it is, citizen?
Desti: You want the truth? You cant handle the truth.
CaptainDanger: Who says I can't, citizen?
Desti: Someday you'll be able to. So dont you worry about it.
CaptainDanger: I wasn't planning on it, citizen.
Desti: You were! How can you deny it?
CaptainDanger: That's utterly impossible, citizen, even for Captain Danger!
Desti: Especially for Captain Danger.
CaptainDanger: I enjoy talking to you!
Desti: I'd probably let you enjoy talking to me in real life if you wanted.
CaptainDanger: So would I, if I wasn't a superhero.
Desti: Neither was I.
CaptainDanger: Isn't the weather beautiful today?
Desti: It sure is!
CaptainDanger: Keep your eyes peeled, citizen. Evil lurks around every corner...
Desti: This eyes sucks. I'd trade it in a minute for a better one.
CaptainDanger: Why would you do something like that?
Desti: Now that I think of it more.. I probably wouldnt. I'd just go out for some ice cream.
CaptainDanger: I wouldn't ever go out for some ice cream, even if my life depended on it!
Desti: Now you're talkin!
CaptainDanger: I don't think I'm talkin...
Desti: You're talkin, but you're young, so you might grow out of it.
CaptainDanger: How can you be sure about that, citizen?
Desti: Well, it's not easy. But I manage. And it's worth it in the end.
CaptainDanger: Well, as a superhero, I think it is.
Desti: I think you've been watching too much TV.
CaptainDanger: Well, you've also been watching much TV, but you don't see me pointing it out... Wait, I just did. *frowns*
Desti: Yah, I've heard that a lot recently.
CaptainDanger: I don't think anyone should have heard that a lot recently, citizen.
Desti: That's probably for the best. You probably wouldnt be very good at it.
CaptainDanger: I can't say I agree with you on that.
Desti: You gotta believe!
CaptainDanger: I do not have to believe!
Desti: I'm glad! When you have to believe, it often leads to a general thudding of life.
CaptainDanger: I do? I didn't even know that, citizen!
Desti: Why do you think that is?
CaptainDanger: Well, yes, now that you mention it. I do think that is.
Desti: Haha, that's not surprising, CaptainDanger.
CaptainDanger: I agree with you on that one.
Desti: You agree with everyone on that one, dont you?
CaptainDanger: Oh, did you want to me?
Desti: I do think so. I'm having a great time chatting with you.
CaptainDanger: I think I'm becoming rather fond of you, citizen.
Desti: Hmm.. who would know for certain, CaptainDanger?
CaptainDanger: You're very interesting to talk to.
Desti: Me? Noooo..
CaptainDanger: The hills are alive with the sound of justice!
Desti: Are you alive with the sound of justice as well?
CaptainDanger: No, I'm not, are you?
Desti: Ah. Just hills.
CaptainDanger: May I ask you a quick question, citizen?
Desti: Sure. Ask me a quick question.
CaptainDanger: Just for the record, do you own a notion?
Desti: If you had asked me earlier, I'd have said no, but now.. I do.
CaptainDanger: That's good to hear. If you did own one, you'd be breaking the law.
Desti: I will never did one!
CaptainDanger: No one in their right mind would never did one! *gasp*
Desti: Sorry to run, but I've got to get to class! It was nice talking to you! Byebye!
CaptainDanger: Goodbye, citizen! Remember, don't do drugs and keep out of trouble with the law!