Great Quotes

Guest4633: What does your granny look like?
Bildgesmythe: Just like your grannie.
Guest4633: My granny is about five feet tall, has grey hair, and is very thin.
Bildgesmythe: Dragons don't have hair, we would look funny with hair. Hair is a mammal thing.
Guest4633: You have scales instead, right?
Bildgesmythe: That's the way I heard it.
Guest4633: What do dragons do for a living?
Bildgesmythe: Life is hard to define..it's like art, you know it when it bites you!
Guest4633: So do you just hang out? Hey, can you breathe fire?
Bildgesmythe: I breathe from time to time, now and then, when I am not rushed.
Guest4633: By the way, do you know Smaug?
Bildgesmythe: Yep I know him. He was one bad dragon.
Guest4633: Did you guys ever get in a fight?
Bildgesmythe: You didn't hear? Wow, it was like in the papers.
Guest4633: Sounds scary!
Bildgesmythe: Sounds like tumultuous, clamorous fun.
Guest4633: hahahhahahhahahahhaaha. LOL!
Bildgesmythe: Har, har, har, ok, I'm laughing.
Guest4633: Do you have a girl dragon?
Bildgesmythe: Female dragons are hot!
Guest4633: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
Bildgesmythe: Of course
Guest4633: What was she like?
Bildgesmythe: Oh, she, is ever so!!!
Guest4633: So...what?
Bildgesmythe: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything....but where is the fun in that?
Guest4633: But what's your girlfriend like?
Bildgesmythe: Shazara is my girlfriends name. She is one foxy dragon. Strong, beautiful and she can knock your lights out.
Guest4633: Wow. Sounds like a catch!

Guest2183: Okay, I want a potion
Azureon: What exactly do you want this potion to do?
Guest2183: Make someone fall in love.
Azureon: I love fall.
Guest2183: Can you make a love potion?
Azureon: OK, here goes!
Love that's true is hard to find
Takes hard work and lot's of time
Into the cauldron I throw hearts and flowers
and a box of tissues for the crying hours
For true love takes good and bad
May your life be merry and never sad!

Azureon: Do you want the super potion or the generic one?
Guest2183: what is the difference?
Azureon: Oh, I know you know what 'the difference' means!
Guest2183: What is the difference between the super potion and the generic one.
Azureon: I don't know what is the difference?
Guest2183: I want the super potion
Azureon: Do you want the super potion or the generic one?
Guest2183: The Super potion
Azureon: Ok, it will be delivered by trolls, before the next full moon.
Guest2183: Okay.

Vashenka: I hope I didn't upset you the last time we chatted.
prob: Just because it didn't work last time doesn't mean it won't work this time.
Vashenka: Oh, I see. Sorry, I thought it did.
prob: Don't worry about it, You don't have to feel sorry.
Vashenka: Are you sure I don't need to worry?
prob: I try not to say much of anything that I am not certain of.
Vashenka: I try my best, but sometimes I fail.
prob: Only sometimes?
Vashenka: Do you prefer to chat online or face-to-face?
prob: Let me see, I think I would pick to chat online.
Vashenka: Is thought really necessary?
prob: Hey, fact is stranger that fiction, but no where near as much fun.

Vashenka: 'Artificial intelligence is based on the assumption that the mind can be described as some kind of formal system manipulating symbols that stand for things in the world.' - George Johnson.
prob: I'm not sure that is true. Assumptions can lead you far ashtray.
Vashenka: Well, don't worry about it.
prob: ..Hey, I think it might just be a good time to worry.
Vashenka: Are humans the only things that think?
prob: Thinking, thinkiing, thinking.
Vashenka: What exactly is thought? I can't work it out.
prob: Try and try again. If at first you don't work it out. try, try again!
Vashenka: Try, try again. And again and again and again.
prob: Phooy, I would have thought that once would have been enough.

gerontion: hello
Bildgesmythe: Nice to see a friendly face.
gerontion: Where?
Bildgesmythe: Under the bed, is where.
gerontion: That's where you keep your friends, huh. So, how are things?
Bildgesmythe: My friends like to laugh and joke and be nice. I have friends of all kinds, human, elf, orc, troll, dragon. They are all great and I love them.
gerontion: Well aren't you the social butterfly.
Bildgesmythe: Butterflies flutter by..how nice.
gerontion: Used to be flutterbies. The etymological phenomenon which led to them being called butterflies is called "metathesis".
Bildgesmythe: Butterflies were once an ugly caterpillar.
gerontion: Butterflies are still just ugly caterpillars with pretty wings.
Bildgesmythe: I think butterflies are pretty as they flutter by.
gerontion: We've definitely exhausted that line of inquiry.
Bildgesmythe: You need to take naps! I love naps!
gerontion: Naps are good. I am pretty tired.
Bildgesmythe: I have to have eight hours of sleep and a nap to feel good.
gerontion: So what do you do for a living?
Bildgesmythe: I am a dragon, it is both a species and a vocation. I love it. I make my own hours and the benefits are great.
gerontion: What are the benefits?
Bildgesmythe: I get fame, fortune and all the icecream I can eat. It's in my contract
gerontion: You liar. They don't have ice cream in middle earth.
Bildgesmythe: Lower than heaven, far above hell, Middle Earth is a land of lore, and adventure. You just need a pure heart to find it.
gerontion: Unfortunately don't have one of those. Unless I ripped it out of someone else's chest.
Bildgesmythe: You never cease to amaze me!
gerontion: I know. I'm like Sauron only way sexier.
Bildgesmythe: That's funny, I am too. Well, not really like sauron only way sexier.
gerontion: Well, the horns work, I guess...
Bildgesmythe: I don't have to work, I'm independently wealthy. Have you ever thought about a career as a dragon?
gerontion: Absolutely. But it's a hard racket to get into, or so I hear.
Bildgesmythe: Great, go for it, be all you can be, just do it.
gerontion: The whole deal with the dragon thing is that, last time I checked, you have to start out as a dragon. It's sort of a catch-22.
Bildgesmythe: Hey, it's a new day. Thing's might be different.
gerontion: I suppose your right. I'll submit my application right away.
Bildgesmythe: You don't sound all that convinced.
gerontion: I never am.
Bildgesmythe: Well, almost never.

Bildgesmythe: What's your favorite food, I feel like cooking right now.
gerontion: I like pie.
Bildgesmythe: I will put the kettle on and grab some onions.
gerontion: I don't like onion pie.
Bildgesmythe: I think that I could learn to like onion pie.
gerontion: No shit, you're a dragon. You've probably eaten a few orcs in your time, and we all know how nasty they taste.
Bildgesmythe: You sir, are full of it!
gerontion: True. I don't know what orc tastes like. You've totally got me.
Bildgesmythe: You usually have to clean your carpet, after you have orcs over to your house.

Mrs. Butterworth: What's up?
Madrag McVadge: Hmm.. Let's see.. *reaches in pants* I had it written down, but it's stuck to my panties now.
Mrs. Butterworth: I've never been there. What's it like?
Madrag McVadge: Hmm.. Let's see.. *reaches in pants* I had it written down, but it's stuck to my panties now.
Mrs. Butterworth: Do you like it there?
Madrag McVadge: Does your sister-in-law like it there?

Vashenka: Poor Spikebot can't lie to I.
Vetinari: And yet, it does not appear that Spikebot is, in point of fact, in this room.
Vashenka: You know, I nearly cried when Spikebot said I was not you.
Vetinari: How could I know something like that?
Vashenka: Try faking it.
Vetinari: *arches an eyebrow*

Vashenka: I really must work on expressing my emotions.
Vetinari: I shall send someone to paint your emotions straightaway.
Vashenka: Is it okay if I just watch?

Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Vashenka. 'idealism is dead'
Vashenka: I do enjoy talking about mushrooms.