Doghead's Cosmic Bar

That's not me

Oh wait... I guess it's me then.

Okay girls. I'm smart now. Now what?

well, darling if you were smart now you would know exactly what to do, just like fizzy does! licks fizzy's tenticles

Ah!!!! Please, I appreciate the sentiment but you have to understand my colloidal balance can get thrown off easily...look, I can bunch my tentacles like this so there's just one cluster on each side, like two arms. Then I squish my body like this so I'm about as tall and thin as the rest of you -- and there we go, I can square dance! If only I had a straw hat...

Darnit fizzy didn't you know it's 'Free Straw Hat For Oddly Shaped Aliens Who Can Turn Colors And Have Tentacles And Pretend To Look Like Humans So They Can Squaredance With Humans' Day? How come they never tell anyone about these things?

Hey, I'll have today's special, 'The Drug-addicted Effigy'

Watch out, if you set fire to that drink it starts to hallucinate.

I don't know if it does anything to you, though

Well, what a coincidence! I think I'm the only one in the room who qualifies. I'll take my free straw hat, please.

Dang! I hoped you took no notice, I wanted to keep my whole collection of 10k straw hats... Anyways.......

Take your pick!

How about one with holes woven into it, so you still have use of those eyes on top?