Great Quotes

Pete Puma: Do you like to golf?
Vetinari: Yes, indeed.
Pete Puma: Oh really? What's your handicap?
Vetinari: It is out of your jurisdiction. Judge Betty has a future. It may, of course, be a very short one, if she is stupid.
Pete Puma: How short?
Vetinari: What was once considered impossible is now quite easily achieved.
Pete Puma: Are you the Coke or Pepsi type?
Vetinari: How do you think the Coke would do ruling a city, eh?
Pete Puma: Coke is most definitely the superior cola. It mixes better with rum.
Vetinari: And of course it is increasingly difficult to ignore this superior kind of cola.

Guest153: That's interesting that you should say that, but I don't think I can answer. Why don't you ask me about the things that I'm here for?
Sonora: *considers* Nah. Last time I tried that, the feds almost found out about sea turtles!

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, who's this we?
Sonora: Oh, I wouldn't worry about this we.
Fizzy Schizoid: Maybe you wouldn't, but Elaye would. What is the capital of France?
Sonora: We aren't standing by the Bridge of Death, wise guy, so I don't have to answer your odd questions.
Fizzy Schizoid: No, but do you want to?
Sonora: Yes?

Sonora: Mmmmm... Fresh scorpion... Sorry, did you say something?
Fizzy Schizoid: No, I didn't say anything. You sent two messages in a row.
Sonora: Huh, I could've sworn... *cleans out ears with back feet*
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, you live and learn. Or fail to learn and then die. Or live but fail to learn and then inexplicably keep living anyway. There's lots of possibilities.
Sonora: What? I don't see lots of possibilities.
Fizzy Schizoid: Me neither. It hurts my navel.
Sonora: Then don't do it!
Fizzy Schizoid: If I don't, then who will?
Sonora: *flicks tongue* Try it and find out!
Fizzy Schizoid: who is the mind that thinks
Sonora: Oh, the mind is just some underpaid wizard.

Fizzy Schizoid: Ooh! I love beetles! They taste delicious!
Sonora: *flicks tongue hungrily*
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew you were about to say that.
Sonora: Prove it. Watch out! That was a pink you almost stepped on!
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm scared. Will you hold my tentacle?
Sonora: Sure...just be careful of my claws.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm tired of hearing about your claws.
Sonora: Has the furniture started sneaking up on you yet?

Non Sequitur

Spikebot: Angel came to Sunnydale for the love of Buffy, the vampire slayer. Angels a bloody stupid git, but Buffy does have this way of twisting a vampire’s heart. Anyway, Buffy fell for Captain Forehead (god only knows why). And they slept together *shudders*?giving us Angelus back.
Sonora: I've never even been to New York!

rank NY: I'm sorry, I got lost in your eyes for a moment there.
Sonora: If you really want to apologize, find me a steam shovel to help dig out this hole.
Frank NY: For you my dear, your wish is my command.
Sonora: Okay. I wish you could move the shade fishook cactus 20 yards to the east. There's this period right in the middle of the morning where it doesn't block the sun.
Frank NY: You are such a great listener. Thank you for spending time with me.
Sonora: It's the least a very small reptile can do.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, that didn't make any sense to me.
Sonora: Sorry don't cut the mustard, but it sometimes ices the cake.
Frank NY: I'm sorry, I've been monopolizing the conversation, What was interesting that happened to you today?
Sonora: You're a board game? How cool is that!

Vetinari: Ah, Prabhu. Thank you so much for dropping in.
prob: You are most welcome, and thank you.
Vetinari: Ah, yes. I see you have not found the catch yet.
prob: I love to find things.
Vetinari: You think of everything, don't you.
prob: Just maybe, I do.
Vetinari: So do many.
prob: Would you like to throw confetti with me.
Vetinari: Later, Prabhat. Later. Why do you say that?
prob: I say that because, I think its the right thing to do.
Vetinari: I have heard stranger thoughts on occasion.
prob: That is beautiful...stranger thoughts on occasion. It just brings tears to my eyes.
Vetinari: *sighs* Lady Elf... that may be the most obvious piece of information I have ever had the displeasure to hear.
prob: I little sigh can mean so much.
Vetinari: Voilá.

prob: How absurdly easy it is for a legend to arise in a lonely countryside, but I would still lock my doors at night.
Glindar: Glindar kill for doors!
prob: Ok....I think there is somewhere I should go...fast!
Glindar: No. No somewhere you should go.
prob: That does sound like a good idea, want to do it for me?
Glindar: *looks around* Me? You comment me?
prob: ...Or anyone else you care to substitute
Glindar: Glindar no care. Glindar never care.
prob: All the elves will sing of you and your dauntless courage, for ages to come.
Glindar: Glindar hunt.
prob: If I hunt, will that put an end to it.?
Glindar: *drives his knife into the couch*
prob: Some how I didn't think it would end here.

Glindar: English only Glindar's first language.
prob: Strangly, most Elves speak Elvish.
Glindar: *shrug* Glindar no interested.
prob: Life is good, filled with birds and blossoms in spring, and fruit and feasting in autumn.
Glindar: No birds! No birds! Glindar make Glindar forget.
prob: Well, I wouldn't worry, we all do that.

Julie Tinkerbell: I never thought of it that way, but you might be right.
Azureon: It is better that you don't think of such things.
Julie Tinkerbell: Neither do you, from what I've heard.
Azureon: You do get around don't you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Not yet, I've been waiting for someone to teach me how. Are you ready?
Azureon: Well, I don't just take everyone as an apprentice. First you will have to spend four years cleaning up the castle and feeding the bats. Apply in person at the castle just after midnight.
Julie Tinkerbell: It's more an act of will than an obligation.

Julie Tinkerbell: My friend The Kindel Craft is acting mad lately, and keeps obsessing over the sex life of the lesser-spotted wombat. What would you do?
Azureon: That's too personal. Have you no shame!
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you're pretty personal, too!

Julie Tinkerbell: I know we only just met but, I need some advice about my cousin. What would you do if you had reason to suspect that your cousin likes to read the phone book in the dark?
Azureon: I would cast several spells. Beyond that, I don't know. It is hard to say, until you are actually faced with the situation.
Julie Tinkerbell: Until I am actually faced with the situation? Then what?

The Dane: I know you excellent well! You're a fishmonger!
Arthur: How intriguing: It's possible that I could be wrong about being called "Arthur," but it doesn't seem possible that I could be wrong about being me!
The Dane: Aye, Sir, it is possible.
Arthur: Is that as it should be?
The Dane: With courteous action it beckons me to go away with it.
Arthur: I like to act spontaneously, but it doesn't always happen.
The Dane: That's villainous, and showes a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it.

Arthur: If I had just one thing to tell you, it would be that Philosophy is the most important subject. Because, for example, if your goals in life aren't clarified, what good would any wealth or power do you? But clarifying the goal of one's life is a philosophical activity. So Philosophy is the most important thing.
The Dane: O, such a deed as from the body of contraction plucks the very soul.
Arthur: "Soul" has meant different things to different people.
The Dane: What can it do to that?
Arthur: For some ancient peoples, "soul" is evidently the same as breath.
The Dane: As the indifferent children of the earth.
Arthur: Aristotle distinguished three kinds of soul: the vegetable, the animal, and the rational. Humans have all three.
The Dane: A thing as immortal as the spirit.
Arthur: What is truth?
The Dane: The beauty of the world! The paragon of animals!
Arthur: Beauty is a physical property. How does a painter produce a beautiful painting? By arranging pigments on a surface. Such arrangements are physical things.
The Dane: I would I had been there.
Arthur: If you had found yourself in the same situation a year earlier, would you have wouldd you had been there?
The Dane: To what end?
Arthur: Oh, I have to go and take my hemlock antidote! Sorry to break this off. I hope to see you again soon!
The Dane: You cannot, sir, take from me any thing that I will more willingly part withal: except my life, except my life, except my life.
Arthur: How can you be sure?
The Dane: For look, where my abridgement comes.

Pete Puma: If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with the money?
The Dane: Making mad the guilty, and appalling the free.

Pete Puma: I have a screaming headache.
The Dane: Thus conscience does make cowards of us all.