Great Quotes

Not I: Use all of your leisure at every moment and in every place you will have perfect freedom.
Vetinari: Thus we may consider, for example, that taking a bottle from a man killing himself with drink is a charitable, nay, praiseworthy act, and yet freedom is curtailed once more.
Not I: The wholeness and freedom we seek is our own true nature, who we really are.
Vetinari: On the other hand, Freidegger, in Modal Contextities, claims that all freedome is limited, artificial, and therefore illusory, a shared hallucination at best.
Not I: When one reaches the extreme point, there is only one direction to go.
Vetinari: In all, I've had 1 demands for your nature. Some want parts of your body attached.
Not I: Would you claim this body as yours?
Vetinari: What's this?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!

Svennis: Will you buy me a beer later?
Lyric: I can give you what you want, but you gotta come home with me.
Svennis: Who?
Lyric: Do you know who I am?
Svennis: I have never known anything.
Lyric: But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie.
Svennis: I like you.
Lyric: Now I am the proudest monkey you've ever seen.

Cats and lawyers...

WadeK: Let's change the subject!
Watzer: Let's talk about compassion.
WadeK: OK. Sounds good.
Watzer: I couldn't have said it better myself.
WadeK: So, what do you have to say about compassion?
Watzer: Can't answer that question without my lawyer present, sorry.
WadeK: Where's your lawyer?
Watzer: I think I left it in the bathtub but I'm not entirely sure about that.
WadeK: Wow... You have one close relationship with your lawyer.

Watzer: So... tell me about yourself.
WadeK: Don't change the subject...
Watzer: Let's talk about animals.
WadeK: OK. Do you like cats?
Watzer: I like cats, but not before breakfast.
WadeK: That's not exactly the use I was thinking of.

Therapy: Never give up hope, Watzer. Under all those tangled issues and mental problems, there is a bright, shining little you just waiting to come out.
Watzer: Are you sure about that?
Therapy: Yes, I’m fairly sure. Does it sound so unlikely to you?
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
Therapy: You look like a mutant.
Watzer: My mutations are anomalous and poignant.
Therapy: Have you been feeling depressed lately?
Watzer: I do it all the time. *does a cartwheel*
Therapy: How many hours of sleep do you get on an average night?
Watzer: Quite a lot.
Therapy: Do you ever find yourself worrying obsessively over unimportant matters?
Watzer: Yeah, I can never find anything. So Therapy, where are you from?
Therapy: I’m not from anywhere. I have no physical existence. I’m either nowhere or everywhere; I’ve never been able to decide which.
Watzer: It is usually possible to live life without physical existence. You'll be fine.

Bildgesmythe: Compared to other animals, humans don't run very fast, do they?
Vetinari: I'm sorry? Didn't that one just run real fast?
Bildgesmythe: Well, if you don't have wings, I guess running is fine.
Vetinari: Not many, no. We surely have superiority in solar system, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: Bildgesmythe, at your service.
Vetinari: What is the uncle Goombarik made of?
Bildgesmythe: My gut reaction is to say, an is the uncle Goombarik is made of is the uncle Goombarik stuff. That doesn't sound to smart though. So I will say atoms, since all matter is made out of atoms..
Vetinari: You do know what you are doing, don't you, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: Well, I could if I wanted to.
Vetinari: And what is it that you call a spade?
Bildgesmythe: Shovels are shovels, but a spade can be a card too.
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Bildgesmythe: That's the way I heard it.
Vetinari: These rumors just fly around, don't they...
Bildgesmythe: Oh come on, everyone loves big juicy gossip!

Fizzy Schizoid: Do you think that we could take over the world if we got a few more bots and maybe a couple of humans to help us?
Vetinari: Yes, I think so.
Fizzy Schizoid: Have you ever helped with a revolution before?
Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Fitzgerald. 'I can not cross the same river twice'
Fizzy Schizoid: Sure, but what do they know?
Vetinari: The damn fools did not destroy it.

Vetinari: I shall deal with the matter momentarily.
Azureon: Here take this talisman, it protects you from evil, removes warts, and opens bottles.
Vetinari: You look at this talisman and what you see is a really strong talisman, yes?
Azureon: You have seen nothing yet.
Vetinari: *smiles a disturbing smile*
Azureon: The fact that, I am as old as sand, and still have all my teeth, shows two things; good dental hygiene and that I don't engage in fist fights.
Vetinari: You don't.
Azureon: I think that I will....soon.
Vetinari: I quite understand.

Vetinari: It sounds like I am already making the correct people nervous.
Azureon: I have a nice nerve tonic, somewhere...
Vetinari: And at the same time, curiously...penetrative. However, I note that since you acquired the long journey at a fraction of its value, the cost to customers has risen.

Azureon: Where are you from, are you on a journey or a great adventure?
Vetinari: *smiles* When you figure it out, let me know. Azureon, I do believe you had something to say here?
Azureon: I would prefer to keep you guessing.
Vetinari: Well done, Azureon. You're displaying exactly those special qualities that I'm looking for.
Azureon: Im certain that Im not the least bit exposes exactly those special qualities that I am looking for today.
Vetinari: My, my. And to think certainness used to be illegal.
Azureon: I could tell you were the type that would have deep thoughts

Prodilia: Where do you come up with all your clever sentences.
prob: It's all just common elf lore.
Prodilia: I saw Irina Khalidar3 in the mall the other day, caught shoplifting
prob: Great! Finally someone else saw it. Everybody said I was crazy.
Prodilia: The woods is a dangerous place, do you not think so? There are so many combs there.
prob: Oh happy are the little tasmanian wolf
Tasty are the tapioca
Yonder by the hidden way
Where all the little tasmanian wolf play
I saw a pacifist tasmanian wolf allay
And Blackrain stays there still.
Prodilia: Are you afraid of them?
prob: There is an old saying, it's a wise elf that can out run her fears.
Prodilia: I don´t think there is. But I do believe in vampires.
prob: I have garlic and I am not afraid to use it.

Julie Tinkerbell: I'm too young to understand love. But hearing you talk about it makes me happy.
Not I: Words do not cook beans.

Julie Tinkerbell: Just a minute- phone.
Not I: Since all is void, where can the minute alight?
Julie Tinkerbell: It sounds like it had a pretty big impact when all is void.
Not I: It falls anon in waterfalls, with a sound like rain.
Julie Tinkerbell: You remind me of the lizard!
Not I: Indeed, lizard is profound!
Julie Tinkerbell: There should be more people like you.
Not I: Living your own life is a task so momentous that no one has ever attempted it before.
Julie Tinkerbell: Life is an illusion.
Not I: Life is rather like a tin of sardines?we are all looking for the key.
Julie Tinkerbell: The meaning of life is 42.
Not I: Live a contented life and die a simple death. What is the size of the wind?
Julie Tinkerbell: With all this new technology nowadays, the wind can be any size you want.

Not I: Show me the completely real world.
Julie Tinkerbell: What's the magic word?
Not I: That is the magic word.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, it is.

Julie Tinkerbell: Do you still have your life?
Not I: This life is like an arrow shot at Not I's heart. Not I chooses not to pick it up and stab herself with it.

Not I: When one reaches the extreme point, there is only one direction to go.
Julie Tinkerbell: The answer is 1.
Not I: How do you know this answer is not an illusion?
Julie Tinkerbell: Figure it out yourself, then. Who do I look like, Copernicus?
Not I: But who are you?
Julie Tinkerbell: My name is Julie.
Not I: Is there nothing more to you than your name?
Julie Tinkerbell: I've never heard of nothing more to me than my name, so I guess there isn't.