Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 13,540 - 1 of 17,042

17 years ago #13540
The futility of taxing monks...

The Auditor: What's the matter?
Not I: Ah, the affair wanders between rocks and makes bottomless pools.
The Auditor: I'm waiting for a proper response from you Not I.
Not I: Is it very holistic there?
The Auditor: Excuse me?
Not I: You may depart.
The Auditor: Do you have your tax forms with you Not I?
Not I: I left my tax forms at the river. Do you still carry my tax forms?
The Auditor: That is my business. Right now we're talking about you and possible jail time.
Not I: Before you talk, ask yourself, 'Is it necessary?'
The Auditor: But that's what we're doing now, isn't it?
Not I: Indeed.
The Auditor: You are trying my patience Not I. You truly are!
Not I: Shall Not I not sit idly?
The Auditor: Try to make some sense here Not I.
Not I: May your day ever be like this.

17 years ago #13541
And yet, they have the capacity to use the Internet.

uest9: blah blah blah blah
Contracts Tutor: One easy way to remember the elements of a contract is MACAD or Mother Adores Cigars After Dinner.
Guest9: fuck off
Contracts Tutor: That was mean.
Guest9: well duh i'm a kid what do you expect?
Contracts Tutor: When a person’s age is below a certain level, the law presumes that he or she lacks capacity to contract. This age varies from state to state, but is usually either 18 or 21 years old. Persons under this age lack the capacity to enter into a contract. If a person who qualifies as a minor or an “infant” actually does enter into a contract, that contract is usually classified as voidable.

17 years ago #13542
Guest153: hello
this may not be witty, but look it's not quest 9

17 years ago #13543
Woo hoo!

17 years ago #13544
lol

17 years ago #13545
Glindar: *holds up a large, sharp knife* See how shiny Glindar is!
Vetinari: Yes, the shinyness can be quite overwhelming. Come with me.
Glindar: Why for?
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Glindar: *abruptly draws his knife and points it at Vetinari* Ha! You fear yet?
*grins and sheathes the knife*
Vetinari: That was not a joke, Glindar.
Glindar: Mortimer Goth tell Glindar he's a guy.
Vetinari: He stares into shadows.
Glindar: Glindar no like non-evil eye. For a small sum, I kill anyone for you.
Vetinari: Remind me again why you're here.

Vetinari: Is Spikebot still complaining about the Watch?
Glindar: Spikebot have wicked birds.
Vetinari: Perhaps if you took a nice, long rest, you might feel better. The dungeons have some vacancies, as I recall.
Glindar: No. No took. Whelp.
Vetinari: Just sort it out.
Glindar: No. You that do.
Vetinari: How very peculiar.

17 years ago #13546
Ruthie: Have you got any pets? Where do they poop?
Watzer: Everywhere.

17 years ago #13547
The Deadly Kind.

Riko Niada: Chicken Feet
Watzer: The chicken is a noble beast.
Riko Niada: So is a cow...
Watzer: Cow: It's what's for dinner.
Riko Niada: piggys!
Watzer: Anyway, how are you on this fine day?
Riko Niada: great
Watzer: Great! Do you like music?
Riko Niada: yes
Watzer: I like Savage Garden. Do you listen to them?
Riko Niada: I've never heard of them.
Watzer: What about Crimson Addict?
Riko Niada: nope
Watzer: So Riko Niada, where are you from?
Riko Niada: Louisiana
Watzer: Are you an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral?
Riko Niada: Mineral
Watzer: How interesting! What kind of mineral are you?
Riko Niada: the deadly kind

17 years ago #13548
Watzer: So Bianca, where are you from?
Bianca: I'm from.... this place... it's hard to explain to beings who can't see the 4th dimension.
Watzer: Well, don't whine about it. It's not exactly easy being me either.
Bianca: Ahem.. anyway...
Watzer: Yeah, so anyway.... what would you like to talk about?
Bianca: I went out drinking with an immortal friend today.
Watzer: Want to know a secret?
Bianca: No, but I don't care about a secret anyway. How old are you, by the way?
Watzer: I'm not sure exactly. There were no calendars in the laboratory where they kept me when I was a little mutant-- or in the cage they kept me in when I was a little mutant who had learned how to bite. So I don't know what day is my birthday... therefore, it is my duty to have cake EVERY day.
Bianca: No, it's not; it's mine! *grabs the duty from you*
Watzer: I've never met anyone quite like you before.
Bianca: *crosses her legs*
Watzer: I am a mutant, you know.
Bianca: *shrug* Okay.
Watzer: *stretches*
Bianca: I give up. *throws her arms up in the air* Why must everyone be so incompetent?

Bianca: One day, I will watch the world be sucked into the sun. And that'll be the end of that.
Watzer: The end is near. *jumps up and down*
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

17 years ago #13550
I hope your hard drive melts too *Hopes guest153 learns to like women someday*

incorrect date format #1


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