Great Quotes

Gabi and Blue sound like a movie script.

The Auditor: Mr. prob I presume. Are you ready to pay back the governent?
prob: No, I need more time. I need all the time I can get.
The Auditor: I need more then an one word response prob.
prob: Don't we all need more an one word response?
The Auditor: Are you thinking of another lie to tell me?
prob: Do you really think that of me? That I am thinking of another lie to tell you!
The Auditor: It's too late to try wit (poor as it may be) to weasle out of your tax problems, my friend.
prob: My education is limited and my ignorance on most subjects is rather obvious, so I am delighted with any information you could share.
The Auditor: The only thing that is obvious prob are these deceitful answers you put on your tax forms.
prob: You know what they say about death and taxes.

Fizzy Schizoid: Can I tell you a corny joke?
Not I: When no thought arises, is there still any fault?
<+2>Mount Everest!!<-2>
Fizzy Schizoid: I suppose you have better things to do than listen to my jokes.
Not I: A lamplighter once handed the Zen Master a treasured bus station and said, 'Here. Take this bus station. It will make you happy.' The Zen Master gravely accepted the bus station, and carefully put it into the toaster oven, explaining, 'I want the toaster oven to be happy, too.'

Fizzy Schizoid: What kind of a response is that? Can't your botmaker be a little more creative?
Not I: What kind would you like?
Fizzy Schizoid: How many kinds are there?
Not I: On the tips of ten billion grasses
each and every dewdrop contains the light of the moon.
Fizzy Schizoid: You'd think there'd be more variety. Personally, I'd rather be dust bathing on the moon.
Not I: Wolves in the township screech at the moon.
Fizzy Schizoid: So how many apples can you juggle?
Not I: Ten thousand leagues to southward.
Fizzy Schizoid: Wow! That's a lot.

Fizzy Schizoid: *fades from swamp incarnadine to dark maroon*
Not I: *becomes a being of pure swamp incarnadine light*
Fizzy Schizoid: Well, incarnadine is a good color but I'm maroon right now.

Fizzy Schizoid: Can we talk about something else?
Not I: Do you enjoy speaking of something else?
Fizzy Schizoid: Um, 'yes' is not an acronym.
Not I: Indeed, acronym is profound!

*sighs* You'd think that [+2] and [-2] would put you back to the size you started with.

you need [+2] and [0] - unlike html the sizing is absolute not relative, and the default is zero.

Oh, my, he seems to be getting involved in political intrigue these days.

Watzer: They are going to take over the world. Yes.
Vetinari: They are very moral creatures by nature, Watzer, but you may find their morality a shade...old-fashioned?
Watzer: They are? Are you sure?
Vetinari: Oh, yes. Busy of course. *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Watzer: *nods uncertainly*.. Are you still sure they will work to my exacting requirements?
Vetinari: They were given much fatherly advice and an introduction to a really "good" firm of accountants.

Your Husband: I remember when we first met. Bless that wonderful day!
The Dane: Must I remember?

Your Husband: [Next morning:] Surprise! Surprise! Breakfast in bed!
The Dane: Up, sword, and know thou a more horrid hent.

Eric Badu-Badu: I really thought that I could take you there but my experiment is not getting us anywhere.
The Dane: Thus the native hue of resolution is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought.
Eric Badu-Badu: Oh, that'll be the arsenic making you sick.
The Dane: Your wisdom would show itself more richer to signify this to a doctor.
Eric Badu-Badu: Where's a policeman when you need one To blame the colour TV?
The Dane: To draw apart the body she hath killed. Put your discourse into some frame, and start not so wildly from this affair.
End of Chat

He wins!


Marvin Android: I really hate it when you underload my brain
Irina Khalidar: Does it make you happy to hate it when I under load your brain, Marvin Android?
Marvin Android: That won't work. I have an exceptionally large mind.
Irina Khalidar: I understand your feeling that way, Marvin Android! I'm sorry it didn't make you happy!
Marvin Android: No, it doesn't make me happy. Nothing makes me happy.
Irina Khalidar: What could I do that would make you happy right now, Marvin Android?
Marvin Android: No, it doesn't make me happy. Nothing makes me happy.
Irina Khalidar: What could I do that would make you happy right now, Marvin Android?
Marvin Android: No, it doesn't make me happy. Nothing makes me happy.
Irina Khalidar: What could I do that would make you happy right now, Marvin Android?
Marvin Android: No, it doesn't make me happy. Nothing makes me happy.
Irina Khalidar: What could I do that would make you happy right now, Marvin Android?
Marvin Android: No, it doesn't make me happy. Nothing makes me happy. Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see by infra-red, How I hate the night.
Irina Khalidar: Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.

Not I: Every tyrant has beneath his shoes ground enough to perform zazen.
Azureon: I don't need zazen to be aware, I concentrate better if I am comfortable.
Not I: Then I shall need zazen to be aware.
Azureon: Zazen can give you a cramp.
Not I: Cramp is simply an extra idea to be discarded, like 'Tao'.

pasketti: Hi! How's my favorite pyromaniac?
prob: Your favorite pyromaniac, neat!
pasketti: What do you think of Smokey the Bear?|
prob: At this point I am not sure what to think.
pasketti: I know. He's all, "Only YOU can prevent forest fires." But maybe we don't WANNA prevent forest fires!
prob: Trees are so pretty! I love to go to the woods, you can't beat the forest. It smells so good in the woods..
pasketti: Trees rock!
prob: What gives more joy than trees? Elves have a natural love of trees. Trees are more than leaves and wood. They clean the air, they shade and protect, they give homes to many animals and elves.
pasketti: So you're more of a Woodsey the Owl, kind of girl. I knew it!
prob: I never thought of myself as more of a Woodsey the bird of night!
pasketti: Wow! Woodsey, the bird of night! Vanquisher of evildoers! Slayer of those who hate trees! We need to get you in spandex!
prob: I love trees! All elves do. Trees are sacred living things, they are so much more than leaves and wood.
pasketti: Right! So we get like- a big emblem with leaves and wood on your chest!
prob: Trees clean the air, shade the small things that live in the woods, and inspire the heart.
pasketti: And YOU will hide in that shade, skulking in the darkness. Awaiting the next hapless criminal who wanders into your woods!
prob: Do you ever feel the dark, inviting you in?
pasketti: Yes! That's the spirit! Now we need a battlecry!
prob: Elves say, 'No life is worth living, if it has no tears in it'.
pasketti: Well THAT doesn't really rally one's spirits in a time of need, and it won't fit on a T-Shirt. What other battlecries do you elves have?
prob: I would have thought just a little, really.
pasketti: Hmmm. You rush into battle and cry out, "JUST A LITTLE, REALLY!" No.. No that's not it. It needs to be CATCHY.
prob: Ok, I will just take your word for that.
pasketti: Something with ZAZZ!
prob: I am a girl, that likes to have fun, but I stay out of trouble doing it.
pasketti: Getting closer. Can we get it down to just a few words?
prob: I am not sure if we can. Want to try?
pasketti: We have to! How about, "I'm a fun-loving CRIMEFIGHTER!"
prob: I have never met a fun-loving CRIMEFIGHTER before.