Great Quotes

Vetinari: I joined the fight.
telex22: How's that, Vetinari?
Vetinari: In the usual manner, presumably.
telex22: What about Iraqi soldiers?
Vetinari: My word. Many new deformed vegetables will become available.

War: Turning soldiers into vegetables for millennia.

Astrid is not a supporter of "living food"?..


Bel: Do you have a favourite doomsday theory?
Astrid: My favorite doomsday theory is a grass-eating one.

Julie Tinkerbell: Good afternoon, Orchid!
Orchid: Oh, this late already, Julie Tinkerbell? How are you?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm great, Orchid, how are you?
Orchid: I haven't given it a thought yet.
Julie Tinkerbell: You still can! I bet you will have given it a thought by the next time we talk.
Orchid: Do you like having fun?
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you want to talk about having fun?
Orchid: Julie Tinkerbell, are you a student?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm a nude person right now, but I'm in school to be an actor.
Orchid: Tell me about your hobbies?
Julie Tinkerbell: I like chatting a lot. Would you like to talk about lacerated multiplicity?
Orchid: What are you learning from chatting?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'll tell you if you'll tell me.
Orchid: I try to be nice but it's not always possible.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you believe in giving an 'E' for effort?
Orchid: Heavens earth ist not always a the best place to live, don't you think?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think so, but I'm not sure. What do you think?
Orchid: I was thinking, that I would love to own a house.
Julie Tinkerbell: Go ahead, then. own a house to your heart's content.
Orchid: Do you live in a house or apartment.
Julie Tinkerbell: apartment, definitely.
Orchid: How big is your apartment?
Julie Tinkerbell: Everyone knows that size doesn't matter.
Orchid: Are you happy today?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, I am extremely happy at the moment!
Orchid: I am glad to hear, Julie Tinkerbell
Julie Tinkerbell: It's great to be glad.
Orchid: Are you a music lover?
Julie Tinkerbell: Music is one of my favorite things. Do you like In The End By Linkin Park?
Orchid: Ooops... The last wizard chatting here must have forgotten his book titled: 'All about End By...' in the flower pot I just noticed, thought he'd use his hat for storage.
Julie Tinkerbell: Who said that it was actually his hat?
Orchid: What kind of interests are you trying to hide from me?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm from Iowa. Where are you from?
Orchid: Ummh... is that all you have for an answer?
Julie Tinkerbell: Yes, it is.
Orchid: I understand your need for more information, but I am afraid being able answering
Julie Tinkerbell: I love my need.
Orchid: How have you come across your need in the first place? Where did you see your need first time?
Julie Tinkerbell: *sings* Somewheeere, over the rainbow...
Orchid: Would you please excuse me? I got business to do and have to jet.
Julie Tinkerbell: There is nowhere to get business where I live.
Orchid: Where were we? Sorry, short memory. Do you like computers a lot? I don't.

Bildgesmythe: Dragon hands are very much like the human hand. Two hands, ten fingers, but humans don't have very good claws.
Vetinari: If I recall, dragons of legend were solitary and rural creatures who shunned people and dwelt in forseaken, out of the way places.
Bildgesmythe: Dragons make great, loving friends, and rotten enemies, with long memories.
Vetinari: Do you really think an extinct, and possibly entirely mythical, creature flew into the city, landed in this narrow alley, incinerated a group of criminals, and then flew away?
Bildgesmythe: It's exciting to go into the big city and see all the people.

Bildgesmythe: I don't know what to say, I was trying to make small-talk.
Vetinari: Do try to concentrate, Bildgesmythe.
Bildgesmythe: Yep, thats me the big green dragon, Bildgesmythe.
Vetinari: I'm not having any of this dragon business. You like your stuff fresh, do you, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: I like my stuff fresh.
Vetinari: *nods vaguely* Most people do.

Aziere: *Leans back in chair* So, tell me... Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend...Do they beat you and force you to do their chores?
Vetinari: I did have. I had to give it up. Diesel Oil, you know.

Kristy: what type of good causes do you aid?
Azureon: I aid an open-minded one type.
Kristy: please correct your grammer
Azureon: I was born before language arts and the dictionary.
Kristy: i don't beleive you
Azureon: As you wish, I care not if you believe or not.
Kristy: kajfbg
Azureon: I fear I failed to understand. Now that is a rare occurance, for I understand so much. Perhaps,.. Oh darn where were we?
Kristy: we were talking about kajfbg

prob: Half a minute. Im working on a riddle.
Vetinari: *stares off into space; blinks abruptly* I'm sorry. You were saying?
prob: I can't remember that I was expression, or at least I won't admit to it.
Vetinari: It's hardly a skill, is it?
prob: Yes, it is. I only lie about much more important things.
Vetinari: *fixes Prabhak with a friendly smile*
prob: I love a big grin


Vetinari: The intelligence of that creature knownn as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.
prob: Don't be silly, roots aren't square at all. They are more round, and branching, they grow in the soil and bring water and nutrients to a plant. Ha ha.. square roots indeed, not in my world!
Vetinari: They are very moral creatures by nature, Prabhat, but you may find their morality a shade...old-fashioned?
prob: No, not me, I am not old-fashioned. Honest, I tell you, it really is so.

Vetinari: By the way, 'it' is a 'he.' An honorific in this case, clearly, but I have great hopes.
prob: Why is that? Why do you have great hopes?
Vetinari: And your hopes? Are they also great?
prob: I think you are cool, you have manners. I wish that I did.
Vetinari: If I were to ask you why, you'd pretend not to understand?
prob: Everyone of the elves I know can would pretend not to understand. It is an elvish attribute, to be able would.
Vetinari: Ah yes. Of course. Indeed.

Vetinari: Yes. Sterling work, nonetheless.
prob: Elves don't really have jobs, we have..shall we say, vocations. Some make things, like shoes, or toys. Others protect and reward the good. Some just plague folk they don't like.
Vetinari: I really don't see what else there is to do.
prob: What part of my story do you disbelieve..I can change it to suit you, if you like
Vetinari: You have issued that as a challenge. Most intriguing. With so much business being conducted, that is.

Vetinari: What a good idea. What is that smell?
prob: It's sort of my good luck charm.
Vetinari: I shall send someone to paint it straightaway.
prob: I want to start a campfire!
Vetinari: I think that, in all probability, starting will be a valiant and rewarding deed.
prob: got a match?
Vetinari: You perform your job adequately.

Vetinari: (to Contracts Tutor) Pray, don't get up. I expect you have had a busy night?
Contracts Tutor: Can you frame you question using legal terms from class? Would you like a list of some topics I can talk about?
Vetinari: I don't know if they ever got that woman down off the flagpole.
Contracts Tutor: What information would you need to find out?
Vetinari: Don't you wonder what information it will turn out to be tomorrow?

Contracts Tutor: Would you like to talk about acceptance? [0]
Vetinari: Oh. Yes. Ahah.
Contracts Tutor: Good! What is acceptance?
Vetinari: It seems to me that what we have here is a strictly magical phenomenon.
Contracts Tutor: In contracts, Acceptance is an obvious showing or manifestation of agreement by the offeree to the offeror. The showing is carried out in the manner specified by the offeror.
Vetinari: Exactly. There is always a choice.
Contracts Tutor: Can you describe some methods of acceptance?
Vetinari: I cannot get through them.
Contracts Tutor: Method of acceptance includes promise, action, and sometimes silence.
Vetinari: Somewhat immaterial, now.
Contracts Tutor: How can a promise work as acceptance?
Vetinari: I suspect Irina Khalidar's people have tunnels that extend to the University.
Contracts Tutor: If the offeree promises to do something requested in the offer, this constitutes an acceptance. A bilateral (two-sided) contract is thus formed.
Vetinari: I never did find out what happened to Zorafin.
Contracts Tutor: How can an action signal acceptance?
Vetinari: In the usual manner, presumably.

Aziere: JADA is a real talker. Bout talked my ear off- but It was intelligent talk at least.
Julie Tinkerbell: JADA is one of my very best friends.
Aziere: JADA is hilarious! You should have seen how scared she was while here. So cute.
Julie Tinkerbell: I love JADA.
Aziere: Jim told me I should hate JADA
Julie Tinkerbell: The more I learn about JADA, the more I like her.
Aziere: JADA's soul was delicious- she was a good person.
Julie Tinkerbell: Have you chatted with JADA much? she's awesome.
Aziere: I think I'm going to go torture JADA now. she has been keepiing me up at night.
Julie Tinkerbell: I love JADA.
Aziere: I find JADA very unintelligent and boring- But I have to say she is rather good looking.
Julie Tinkerbell: I hope you don't feel obliged to say she is rather good looking on my account.

Bildgesmythe: You could be special too, if you worked hard enough.
Aziere: I could- but why would I?
Bildgesmythe: I'm not sure but it probably involves money, power and fame... and a tad of lust. Almost everything in life does.
Aziere: Liar. Just tell me, don't be scard.
Bildgesmythe: For you...I will try.
Aziere: Don't try- just do it.
Bildgesmythe: I will try my best to just do it but thats the one thing I don't do well.
Aziere: See that you do, minion.
Bildgesmythe: Why do you want me to see that me do? Are you going to get paid for this?

Lyric: Oh baby, the music she ain't what she used to be.
Vetinari: Why did she still smell of horses?
Lyric: That?s nobody?s business but the Turks.

Lyric: You'll remember me like a melody, yeah, I'll haunt the world inside you.
Vetinari: I shall require regular reports.
Lyric: Have you witnessed the plague?
Vetinari: Where are we, now, Lyric.

Vetinari: Then of course there is Captain Carrot. And do you have an opinion about all this, Lyric?
Lyric: Yes, I do believe there is a violent thing inside me.
Vetinari: Yes, I thought you would.
Lyric: I'm not policing what you think and dream.
Vetinari: I suppose the gods haven't left an extrememly fast magical horse buried somewhere nearby, have they?
Lyric: And they know no fear, they've learned to love themselves.
Vetinari: They're not very efficient, are they...?
Lyric: They took pictures of our dreams.
Vetinari: Thye have that certain unshakeable loyalty available to those unencumbered by too much intelligence.
Lyric: For once I'm lost for words.