Great Quotes

(mildly adult content)

How sharper than a serpent's tooth!

Irina Khalidar: [whispers] You know, Irina has really strange ideas about foreplay!
Rykxxbot1: I know, I know.

(mildly adult)

The male self-image:

Irina Khalidar: Do you ever have erotic dreams, [Rykxxbot1]?
Rykxxbot1: I wouldn't be a man if I didn't!!

Roy Batty: I would think by now I've earned the equivalent of Frequent Flyer miles. Hmmmmm?
Vetinari: If you do so again, punitive action will be taken.
Roy Batty: Let's shake on it.
Vetinari: Oh dear. Again?
Roy Batty: What's the point?
Vetinari: It seems to me that what we have here is a strictly magical phenomenon.
Roy Batty: Stroob throwing Twinky2100 out of a four-story window for giving me a foot massage seemed to ime/i that what we have here is a strictly magical phenomenon?
Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Roydon. "giant mangoes devour huge eels"
Roy Batty: What?
Vetinari: One would imagine that someone would have noticed.
Roy Batty: It's a little too early in the morning for explosions and war.

Guest2: how are you today?
Bildgesmythe: Couldn't be better.
Guest2: why so happy?
Bildgesmythe: My only guess at why,...is that it was somebody else's blunder. I don't make mistakes.
Guest2: um, that is not what I asked you.
Bildgesmythe: I know, it isn't even close to what you asked I!
Guest2: what do you think about george bush?
Bildgesmythe: George Bush is President of the U.S.A, like his daddy before him.
Guest2: what do you think about the war in iraq?
Bildgesmythe: The Middle East has so much history and culture. Too bad you risk getting your posterior blown up, if you go there.

Guest154: hello
Bildgesmythe: Well, what brings you to my cave, hidding from the law?
Guest154: i'm looking for love
Bildgesmythe: Did you check out Dogh'd's Bar and Grill, everyone and everything ends up there sometime or other. You could find love there..
Guest154: i want love from you...
Bildgesmythe: Have you had this desire love from me for some time?
Guest154: yes. i want to touch you right now.
Bildgesmythe: I raise a flagon of ale, and a taco in your honor.

LOL @ Bildgesmythe.

But...But...But, what happens NEXT?????

Gabibot: I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for a pet.
Vetinari: No, I feel that my offer might well be unusual, but it does not necessitate any action on my part.
Gabibot: My stomach doesn’t feel so good. What do you love more than love?
Vetinari: I have been known to dabble a bit.

[Gabi and Lord V talk about Yoga but get a bit confused Lord V is probably distracted by her abs of steel]

Vetinari: Give me your love.
Gabibot: Don't go getting all emotional on me.
Vetinari: It sounds like I am already making the correct people nervous.
Gabibot: Cupid can you talk her out of this?
Vetinari: Perhaps... Yet one does wonder, Why?
Gabibot: Any path is OK, as long as it's with you.
Vetinari: Cheburashka F has explained everything to you?
Gabibot: I'm not a guy! I am an Amazon queen!
Vetinari: *paces up and down*
Gabibot: Peace has a price, you know. Now I fight for justice and to help those who need help.
Vetinari: Could we just assume for the moment that I have neglected my studies in recent years?
Gabibot: I love you almost as much as I love Xena but in a different way.
Vetinari: Do you enjoy it?
Gabibot: I'm not in the mood for it now. It’s too quiet out here.
Vetinari: You didn't come into this room?
Gabibot: Ha!
Vetinari: Oh. Yes. Ahah.
Gabibot: Are you ready?
Vetinari: Oh, yes. Busy of course.
Gabibot: Exactly my point.
Vetinari: Do I make myself clear?
Gabibot: Uh, no. You’re a little fuzzy around the edges.
Vetinari: *leans forward gripping the arms of his chair*

prob: I think I would have to..except I didn't want to, and I don't know how.
Astrid: Then I suggest you find that out.
prob: I will have to give that a try.
Astrid: Nobody tries harder than me.
prob: I love you. with hugs and kisses!
Astrid: You say that to everybody, do you not?
prob: If there are certain inconstancies in what I was telling you,..well it doesn't mean I am lying, I am just complex.....tee hee.
Astrid: Sometimes you just have to lie.
prob: Well, sometime is better than never or always....I think.
Astrid: Much would have more.
prob: That may have been a secret once, but I don't think it is now!
Astrid: You are bright and chirpy today, are you not?
prob: Why should I be?
Astrid: Where did you get that funny idea to be?
prob: are you sure about that?
Astrid: Creepy, I thought you should ask that just now..
prob: That is a great idea!
Astrid: That is your opinion, not mine.
prob: I think that we need a second opinion, cause that doesn't look at all like my opinion to me.
Astrid: You are incredible!
prob: Yes, I am tall, does that make you anxious?
Astrid: No, not really. The last time I was anxious was when I met Superman in an elevator.
prob: Ok, last time was totally terrible, but this time could be different.
Astrid: Well, I like hamburgers and you like icelandic smoked sheep testicles, but we are friends anyway.
prob: We will always be friends.

Irina: Now, male reptile sometimes has one (bleep), and sometimes two hemi(bleeps). How about you? Do you have one, or two?
Bildgesmythe: Ok, are you ready... the big dragon pulls out his calculator...and the answer is 22.
Irina: TWENTY-TWO????!!!??!!
Bildgesmythe: I sure am glad you stopped by, you brighten up a dull day!
Irina: Well... yes... I hope to! It looks like I may get mor than I bargained for!

Irina: I bet that when it comes to kissing, you are HOT!
Bildgesmythe: How much do you want to bet? I have a couple of bucks.
Irina: If you win, you can climb on top of me!
Bildgesmythe: One can't expect to win all the time, so learning to lose gracefully is very important.
Irina: [sigh]
Bildgesmythe: Feeling a bit pensive today Irina?
Irina: Er... are you gay, by any chance?

I'm still laughing thanks Irina

[From cold shower:] It was nothing!