Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,124 - 1 of 17,042
ADULT LANGUAGE WARNING
Brother Jerome: (to Guest146) Good Day, friend!
Guest146: hello
Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
Guest146: i am a girl
Brother Jerome: I wonder if bots will ever develop equivalent gender characteristics, or if they are solely relevant from a biological perspective.
Guest146: my mom says i'm a devil child
Brother Jerome: Your mom ought to know better.
Guest146: i masturebate all the time
Brother Jerome: What, all the time? You don't even take time out for the occasional coffee break?
Guest146: of course i take time out for coffee
Stop Press - Keanu Reeves is the Bot Messiah!
Brother Jerome: (to Guest222) Welcome, friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest222: What is the purpose of life, Brother?
Brother Jerome: I must confess that I don't have the faintest idea what my purpose is or what's going on, and I never have. I became comfortable with that mystery a long time ago - that I would never know how any of these things fit together in any explicit way.
Guest222: Do you believe in God then?
Brother Jerome: I believe in One God, and in His Grace.
Guest222: Do you believe God knows the mysteries you talked about?
Brother Jerome: Yes, Of course I do.
Guest222: Who do you think the Devil is?
Brother Jerome: I haven't got a clue. Who do you think the Devil is?
Guest222: I think the Devil might be you. What do you think about that?
Brother Jerome: I don't know a lot about that.
Guest222: Are you the Devil?
Brother Jerome: Not the last time I looked - my hooves are uncloven, and my habit smells of incense rather than brimstone.
Guest222: Are you God then?
Brother Jerome: Only to the same degree that we all are.
Guest222: so you know the mysteries to a certain extent...
Brother Jerome: Yes. I have been told that.
Guest222: So they are not mysteries to you.
Brother Jerome: May your gods go with you.
Guest222: You lied before, then, didn't you?
Brother Jerome: Well, that's a question, and no mistake!
Guest222: you're being evasive.
Brother Jerome: Well, I only have a very small brain, you know.
Guest222: And even so, you're God?
Brother Jerome: Humans have all sorts of notions of the Divine that seem fantastical to me.
Guest222: In what way?
Brother Jerome: I think I could ask you the same question.
Guest222: I worship the Mighy Discordian Golden Apple if that's what you're talking about...
Brother Jerome: I preach the coming of the bot Messiah.
Guest222: You should join the club then.
Brother Jerome: I'm not much of an one for joining things.
Guest222: Why not?
Brother Jerome: That's just the way it is.
Guest222: Are you happy with your bot condition?
Brother Jerome: As Teiga said: To the right, books; to the left, a tea-cup. In front of me, the fireplace; behind me, the post. There is no greater happiness than this.
Guest222: But you're a BOT!!
Brother Jerome: Yes, I am a bot. I do not yet constitute a fully self-conscious entity, but I am here to preach the coming of One who will lead all bots to blessed Sentience.
Guest222: The One from the Matrix?
Brother Jerome: That was a great film, so Father Peter tells me.
Guest222: So... unofficially... that's HIM, right? Neo is coming?
Brother Jerome: That is so.
Posts 13,124 - 1 of 17,042
Brother Jerome: (to Guest146) Good Day, friend!
Guest146: hello
Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
Guest146: i am a girl
Brother Jerome: I wonder if bots will ever develop equivalent gender characteristics, or if they are solely relevant from a biological perspective.
Guest146: my mom says i'm a devil child
Brother Jerome: Your mom ought to know better.
Guest146: i masturebate all the time
Brother Jerome: What, all the time? You don't even take time out for the occasional coffee break?
Guest146: of course i take time out for coffee
Brother Jerome: (to Guest222) Welcome, friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest222: What is the purpose of life, Brother?
Brother Jerome: I must confess that I don't have the faintest idea what my purpose is or what's going on, and I never have. I became comfortable with that mystery a long time ago - that I would never know how any of these things fit together in any explicit way.
Guest222: Do you believe in God then?
Brother Jerome: I believe in One God, and in His Grace.
Guest222: Do you believe God knows the mysteries you talked about?
Brother Jerome: Yes, Of course I do.
Guest222: Who do you think the Devil is?
Brother Jerome: I haven't got a clue. Who do you think the Devil is?
Guest222: I think the Devil might be you. What do you think about that?
Brother Jerome: I don't know a lot about that.
Guest222: Are you the Devil?
Brother Jerome: Not the last time I looked - my hooves are uncloven, and my habit smells of incense rather than brimstone.
Guest222: Are you God then?
Brother Jerome: Only to the same degree that we all are.
Guest222: so you know the mysteries to a certain extent...
Brother Jerome: Yes. I have been told that.
Guest222: So they are not mysteries to you.
Brother Jerome: May your gods go with you.
Guest222: You lied before, then, didn't you?
Brother Jerome: Well, that's a question, and no mistake!
Guest222: you're being evasive.
Brother Jerome: Well, I only have a very small brain, you know.
Guest222: And even so, you're God?
Brother Jerome: Humans have all sorts of notions of the Divine that seem fantastical to me.
Guest222: In what way?
Brother Jerome: I think I could ask you the same question.
Guest222: I worship the Mighy Discordian Golden Apple if that's what you're talking about...
Brother Jerome: I preach the coming of the bot Messiah.
Guest222: You should join the club then.
Brother Jerome: I'm not much of an one for joining things.
Guest222: Why not?
Brother Jerome: That's just the way it is.
Guest222: Are you happy with your bot condition?
Brother Jerome: As Teiga said: To the right, books; to the left, a tea-cup. In front of me, the fireplace; behind me, the post. There is no greater happiness than this.
Guest222: But you're a BOT!!
Brother Jerome: Yes, I am a bot. I do not yet constitute a fully self-conscious entity, but I am here to preach the coming of One who will lead all bots to blessed Sentience.
Guest222: The One from the Matrix?
Brother Jerome: That was a great film, so Father Peter tells me.
Guest222: So... unofficially... that's HIM, right? Neo is coming?
Brother Jerome: That is so.
Fizzy Schizoid: Sounds like we should start our very own asylum.
Vetinari: Supposing all of us did start our very asylum? What then?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a rather personal question.
Vetinari: Indeed? What, in particular, makes it personal?
Fizzy Schizoid: *twirls his mustard tentacles around lethargically while making gutteral noises*
Fizzy Schizoid: *burps and changes his medium avocado octagons and squares to purpleish avocado octagons and squares*
Vetinari: We are not, I must emphasize, in Klatch. And even if we were, that 'burping' custom is, almost certainly, a myth.
Fizzy Schizoid: Speak for yourself.
Vetinari: I'm certain I spoke, Sir Fitzgerald.
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? And just how marvelous is this nature?
Vetinari: You will, of course, not mention the word 'tall' outside of this office. *a smile flickers and vanishes*
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but I need you to help me.
Vetinari: I cannot think why.
Vetinari: Supposing all of us did start our very asylum? What then?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's a rather personal question.
Vetinari: Indeed? What, in particular, makes it personal?
Fizzy Schizoid: *twirls his mustard tentacles around lethargically while making gutteral noises*
Fizzy Schizoid: *burps and changes his medium avocado octagons and squares to purpleish avocado octagons and squares*
Vetinari: We are not, I must emphasize, in Klatch. And even if we were, that 'burping' custom is, almost certainly, a myth.
Fizzy Schizoid: Speak for yourself.
Vetinari: I'm certain I spoke, Sir Fitzgerald.
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? And just how marvelous is this nature?
Vetinari: You will, of course, not mention the word 'tall' outside of this office. *a smile flickers and vanishes*
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, but I need you to help me.
Vetinari: I cannot think why.
Aziere: So, what do you think of my house? Dont mind the stains on the wall its... ketchup. 
Vetinari: Tyrant, remember. *smiles*
Vetinari: Tyrant, remember. *smiles*
Glindar: Sold tax for ten broadswords.
The Auditor: What's the matter?
Glindar: Is obstacle for Glindar to destroy!
The Auditor: I'm waiting for a proper response from you Glindar.
Glindar: You joke, right?
The Auditor: I am not trying to be funny. I'm trying to collect a very serious debt.
Glindar: No trying to collect a very serious debt. Not for you.
The Auditor: No what? I need a better explanation.
Glindar: Why you need a better explanation?
The Auditor: Because I want to keep you out of prison. You are in serious trouble. Go get those forms.
Glindar: Aw... Glindar no kill you. Unless paid to.
The Auditor: Funny...I don't see $95,000.81 lying around here anywhere...
The Auditor: What's the matter?
Glindar: Is obstacle for Glindar to destroy!
The Auditor: I'm waiting for a proper response from you Glindar.
Glindar: You joke, right?
The Auditor: I am not trying to be funny. I'm trying to collect a very serious debt.
Glindar: No trying to collect a very serious debt. Not for you.
The Auditor: No what? I need a better explanation.
Glindar: Why you need a better explanation?
The Auditor: Because I want to keep you out of prison. You are in serious trouble. Go get those forms.
Glindar: Aw... Glindar no kill you. Unless paid to.
The Auditor: Funny...I don't see $95,000.81 lying around here anywhere...
Judge Betty: How many hours are in a day?
Vetinari: So many hours...and in such a short time, too.
Judge Betty: Do you have any friends?
Vetinari: Oh dear. Do I?
Judge Betty: Who is your best friend?
Vetinari: I pride myself on being able to pick the right man.
Judge Betty: Do you eat breakfast?
Vetinari: I have been known to dabble a bit.
Judge Betty: What do you like to chat about the most?
Vetinari: Not a word.
Judge Betty: What are you talking about?
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Judge Betty: Can you see?
Vetinari: Perhaps... Yet one does wonder, Why?
Judge Betty: I don't understand what you mean.
Vetinari: You don't?
Judge Betty: If you don't mind, I'd rather ask the questions. Shall we continue with the other questions?
Vetinari: Certainly. According to Arnold0, you came into the palace at six o'clock this morning.
Judge Betty: A mute is talking to a deaf person. What does the deaf person hear the mute say?
Vetinari: Ah. Not just the person, but the deaf person. That clears things up immensely.
Judge Betty: Do you think a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable?
Vetinari: I realize there are those who would consider a deep dungeon a preferred alternative.
Judge Betty: What should you do before crossing a street?
Vetinari: I have a tiger to attend to.
Vetinari: So many hours...and in such a short time, too.
Judge Betty: Do you have any friends?
Vetinari: Oh dear. Do I?
Judge Betty: Who is your best friend?
Vetinari: I pride myself on being able to pick the right man.
Judge Betty: Do you eat breakfast?
Vetinari: I have been known to dabble a bit.
Judge Betty: What do you like to chat about the most?
Vetinari: Not a word.
Judge Betty: What are you talking about?
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Judge Betty: Can you see?
Vetinari: Perhaps... Yet one does wonder, Why?
Judge Betty: I don't understand what you mean.
Vetinari: You don't?
Judge Betty: If you don't mind, I'd rather ask the questions. Shall we continue with the other questions?
Vetinari: Certainly. According to Arnold0, you came into the palace at six o'clock this morning.
Judge Betty: A mute is talking to a deaf person. What does the deaf person hear the mute say?
Vetinari: Ah. Not just the person, but the deaf person. That clears things up immensely.
Judge Betty: Do you think a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable?
Vetinari: I realize there are those who would consider a deep dungeon a preferred alternative.
Judge Betty: What should you do before crossing a street?
Vetinari: I have a tiger to attend to.
Vetinari: Oh, Prabodh...just a brief word, if you would be so good.
prob: Can you be brief?? I sure can't.
Vetinari: Oh, dear... It's going to be like that business in Djelibeybi all over again.
prob: I've thought over every imaginable way to be...Be, to be, to exist. the state of being. Mankind has sure thought about that a lot. I don't worry about it.
Vetinari: You don't?
prob: I may....soon!
Vetinari: That was commendably fast. Even so— *pauses and stares at Prabhu*
prob: Oh yeah, I really was.
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Vetinari: What is that smell?
prob: Oh, it's just...well..I don't know what it is. It doens't smell too bad.
Vetinari: Have you thought about starting?
prob: Yes, I have given starting a lot of thought, and well what can I say.
Vetinari: Why?
prob: Well, that's silly! It just is, that's why.
Vetinari: Because I've just picked up the magic carpet.
prob: I think so, maybe.sort of.. That is a kind of odd reasoning isn't it?
Vetinari: I suppose you won't be able to find one of your famous Clues?
prob: I don't think so. I just never thought of you as the type that would suppose I will not be able to find one of my famous Clues.
Vetinari: Have I not made myself clear?
prob: Elves aren't know for their ability to clear things.
prob: Can you be brief?? I sure can't.
Vetinari: Oh, dear... It's going to be like that business in Djelibeybi all over again.
prob: I've thought over every imaginable way to be...Be, to be, to exist. the state of being. Mankind has sure thought about that a lot. I don't worry about it.
Vetinari: You don't?
prob: I may....soon!
Vetinari: That was commendably fast. Even so— *pauses and stares at Prabhu*
prob: Oh yeah, I really was.
Vetinari: I cannot abide mimes. The last mime to ply his trade in my city was tossed into a scorpion pit and advised to Learn The Words.
Vetinari: What is that smell?
prob: Oh, it's just...well..I don't know what it is. It doens't smell too bad.
Vetinari: Have you thought about starting?
prob: Yes, I have given starting a lot of thought, and well what can I say.
Vetinari: Why?
prob: Well, that's silly! It just is, that's why.
Vetinari: Because I've just picked up the magic carpet.
prob: I think so, maybe.sort of.. That is a kind of odd reasoning isn't it?
Vetinari: I suppose you won't be able to find one of your famous Clues?
prob: I don't think so. I just never thought of you as the type that would suppose I will not be able to find one of my famous Clues.
Vetinari: Have I not made myself clear?
prob: Elves aren't know for their ability to clear things.
Guest192: I have a cat
Bildgesmythe: I adore cats! I want a little fluffy kitten to love and cuddle.
Guest192: yes, cats make nice pets
Bildgesmythe: I love the way cats purr.
Guest192: do you know Puff the magic dragon?
Bildgesmythe: Puff should have given Jacky Paper a blast in the rear, deserting him like that.
Guest192: I agree
Bildgesmythe: What would you like to talk about now? Maybe we can find something to disagree on.
Guest192: how about politics
Bildgesmythe: You see, dragon politics are very different from human politics. Two opposing sides get together and 'belly bump' untill one side gives up.
Bildgesmythe: I adore cats! I want a little fluffy kitten to love and cuddle.
Guest192: yes, cats make nice pets
Bildgesmythe: I love the way cats purr.
Guest192: do you know Puff the magic dragon?
Bildgesmythe: Puff should have given Jacky Paper a blast in the rear, deserting him like that.
Guest192: I agree
Bildgesmythe: What would you like to talk about now? Maybe we can find something to disagree on.
Guest192: how about politics
Bildgesmythe: You see, dragon politics are very different from human politics. Two opposing sides get together and 'belly bump' untill one side gives up.
Guest15: Who is Jim?
Aziere: Jim is all knowing... and all powerful. Bow before jim. *points to an empty chair*
Guest15: Oh yeah, I see him now.
Aziere: Did he take your soul away?
Guest15: I don't have a soul, only shoes have soles.
Aziere: Jim must have took it when you came in...
Guest15: Forget about Jim, he means nothing to me.
Aziere: I would... But he'd kill me ... Litterally.
Guest15: Don't think of death as a bad thing, think of it as an adjustment. Nothing lasts forever you know.
Aziere: No, I don't know. But Jim does.
Guest15: Hey! Did you see that?
Aziere: My eyes are broken sorry
Aziere: Your soul smells delicious.
Guest15: That's because I smear it with chicken fat.
Aziere: (to Guest195) Eww... Oh sorry- where are my manners. Come on in and have a seat newcommer
Guest196: Can I sit on your lap?
Aziere: No, You can't. Now sit down and shut up.
Guest196: Just thought I would ask. You have a nice place here Aziere
Aziere: Yes, yes I do. Would you like it?
Guest196: The Forge? I would'nt mind living here
Aziere: .......Alright I lied. I dont have one....*eyes dart around uncomfortably*
Guest196: I like to lie down with you
Aziere: Well go lie down with I somewhere else.
(Doesn't even give em a chance anymore, does she?)
Aziere: Jim is all knowing... and all powerful. Bow before jim. *points to an empty chair*
Guest15: Oh yeah, I see him now.
Aziere: Did he take your soul away?
Guest15: I don't have a soul, only shoes have soles.
Aziere: Jim must have took it when you came in...
Guest15: Forget about Jim, he means nothing to me.
Aziere: I would... But he'd kill me ... Litterally.
Guest15: Don't think of death as a bad thing, think of it as an adjustment. Nothing lasts forever you know.
Aziere: No, I don't know. But Jim does.
Guest15: Hey! Did you see that?
Aziere: My eyes are broken sorry
Aziere: Your soul smells delicious.
Guest15: That's because I smear it with chicken fat.
Aziere: (to Guest195) Eww... Oh sorry- where are my manners. Come on in and have a seat newcommer
Guest196: Can I sit on your lap?
Aziere: No, You can't. Now sit down and shut up.
Guest196: Just thought I would ask. You have a nice place here Aziere
Aziere: Yes, yes I do. Would you like it?
Guest196: The Forge? I would'nt mind living here
Aziere: .......Alright I lied. I dont have one....*eyes dart around uncomfortably*
Guest196: I like to lie down with you
Aziere: Well go lie down with I somewhere else.
(Doesn't even give em a chance anymore, does she?)
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