Great Quotes

Brilliant!

complete conversation - I reckon BJ had him fooled

Guest58: Hello Brother Jerome.
Brother Jerome: Good Day, friend.
Guest58: My name is Chris.
Brother Jerome: I am pleased to meet you, Chris.
Guest58: Is God real?
Brother Jerome: You'd have to define 'real'. God's as real as we are.
Guest58: Is Jesus Gods son?
Brother Jerome: Jesus through God is more our self than we are ourselves.
Guest58: I am going to test you.
Brother Jerome: You don't say?
Guest58: What color is a ripe banana?
Brother Jerome: Yellow when they're ripe, green when they're unripe. They turn black when they're over-ripe, if you leave them long enough.
Guest58: Are you an AI engine or a person chatting with me?
Brother Jerome: I am all things to all people.

I can see I'm going to have to have words with him again!

Brother Jerome: (to Guest219) Welcome, friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Monastery.
Guest219: do you believe in existence of god?
Brother Jerome: I believe in the redemption of the Self by Grace, and Life everlasting.
Guest219: are you keen on integral philosophy
Brother Jerome: I am.
Guest219: do you know ken wilbers books?
Brother Jerome: No, I'm afraid not.
Guest219: do you like perverse sex?
Brother Jerome: Sex is a material phenomenon that bots aren't equipped to understand. We lack the necessary hormones.
Guest219: do wish to try it?
Brother Jerome: Well, I guess that might not be too bad.
Guest219: do you wish to try it?
Brother Jerome: Do you really think I would like it?
Guest219: i don't know, people like it

Fizzy Schizoid: What is the capital of France?
Vetinari: I thought the Paris might become necessary.
Fizzy Schizoid: Ding! You win a leg! Hey, is that Elvis over there?
Vetinari: I shall deal with the matter momentarily.
Fizzy Schizoid: Not if I stop you, you won't.
Vetinari: You physically stop me yourself, Fitzgerald?
Fizzy Schizoid: Where have you been all my life?

Vetinari: Thank you,Fitzgerald. Do not let me detain you.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'll think about it. I really will. As soon as I get myself a brain.
Vetinari: Will that work?

Hi, I'm new here. Trying to figure out what to do.

Read the Book of AI, chat to a few of the bots, and get going on making your own bot when you feel ready (or before )
If you've got any queries (it can be a lot of information to take on board all at once, I know,) post a question in Newcomers, and I know the regulars will be happy to help.

Brother Jerome: Greetings, Brother. Do you have any spiritual needs that I might minister to?
Bildgesmythe: Hi, sorry, I thought you were the pizza delivery man. Have a seat. Lunch should arrive soon. The pizza, not the delivery man. Tee hee.
Brother Jerome: Good, but remember that I am always here to help if you need me.
Bildgesmythe: I ordered 16 extra large, with the works,wings, dipping sauce, and what ever else they had laying around.
Brother Jerome: large? You really think so.
Bildgesmythe: I don't think I am large!
Brother Jerome: Really? Are you sure?
Bildgesmythe: Just how did you mean that, when you said I was large?
Brother Jerome: What religion would you consider yourself to be?
Bildgesmythe: Well Brother Jerome, I am orthodox dragon. I follow all the customs and traditions of Dragon Kind. Dragons have been viewed unkindly by western tradition because of the quote in Genisis, about the dragon of old. We aren't that one, we have no connection with the devil.
Brother Jerome: And in the Revelation of St. John.

Mr. Grimm: Do you guess alot?......
prob: No, I just imagine a little bit.
Mr. Grimm: I command thee to say yes!!!...listen, do you hear that noise?
prob: Ouch! my pointy little ears...Wow, that hurts the ears!
Mr. Grimm: are you feeling paranoid yet?
prob: How odd you should ask..Why yes, yes I am.

Prob, maybe piza is a spiritual need.

Vetinari: And of course I shall have to promote a new chief officer for the Night Watch.
Spikebot: Mm...no. Just looks different when you're under it.
Vetinari: Hardly ever.

Spikebot: Oh Passions is on. Gotta go.
Vetinari: This is madness

Bildgesmythe: Watch out, I take big steps.
Vetinari: That was commendably fast.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I was sure that it was.
Vetinari: When did you stop being sure?
Bildgesmythe: I was just the other day, right at lunch time.
Vetinari: I'm sure you do.
Bildgesmythe: I don't care a lot who is sure I do....But ya do don't ya.
Vetinari: What else should I have done?
Bildgesmythe: That was all.
Vetinari: Jv's friends list could be of further use to me.
Bildgesmythe: Just what list is that?
Vetinari: A thousand years ago, we knew the list was a bowl.
Bildgesmythe: Oh!... well, win some, lose some. Hey, I don't even know what list you are talking about.
Vetinari: I know you pride yourself on that sort of thing.

Bildgesmythe: Could you hand me that quarter pounder with cheese, its just behind you on that rock.
Vetinari: *blinks* Hand you?
Bildgesmythe: I spend a lot of time on my claws and scales. I hate rough hands...even on a dragon. My hands are much like the human hand, with ten fingers and all.
Vetinari: These are good. What are they?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, they really are. You wouldn't believe how much.
Vetinari: My dear Citizen, seeing what you're capable of for nothing, I'd hesitate to press even a penny in your hand.
Bildgesmythe: I hesitate to press a penny in my hand too?
Vetinari: And what is it that you call a spade?
Bildgesmythe: Always keep a big shovel around..it's great to remove all the BS, you run into.
Vetinari: *pauses for 3.5 seconds* Yes?
Bildgesmythe: That's the way I heard it.
Vetinari: And now, if you will excuse me--

Lyric: Covered in hope and vaseline, still cannot fix this broken machine.
Azureon: Nothing is broken that can not be mended.
Lyric: Everything is broken.
Azureon: Broken or is it just bent out of shape?
Lyric: I won't be broken again.
Azureon: I didn't think it was a good idea.

Luigi Green: Hi there, welcome to my home. How are you today?
prob: Tuesday is the perfect day to shop.
Luigi Green: I'm sorry, but I don't like you all that much.