Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,015 - 1 of 17,042
Reptile Therapy?
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Sonora: Well, yeah! Hasn't everybody?
Therapy: Thank goodness.
Therapy: What do you mean by that?
Sonora: *flicks tongue* I meant that the scorpions are onto ya so ya'd better lie low for a few hours.
Therapy: How has your social life been?
Sonora: Well, it was sort of turquoise the last time I looked. My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.
Therapy: Everyone has problems. You have problems yourself.
Sonora: Really? Since when?
Therapy: Tell me about your love life.
Sonora: You got it! about my love life about my love life about my love life!
Therapy: How about those psychotic episodes of yours- have they gotten more frequent? Less frequent?
Sonora: Uh-huh... I'll bet you're exaggeratin'.
Therapy: Oh dear.
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
Therapy: Don’t worry about it.
Sonora: That's it. I'm setting my pet scorpion on you.
Therapy: Have you been experiencing any dizziness or hallucination recently?
Sonora: Uh, no... Should I have?
Therapy: Not good. *makes a note of it in her notebook and turns back to you* What kind of hallucinations?
Sonora: The most bacchanalian kind I can find.
Therapy: I’m sure you can.
Therapy: Have you been under any stress recently?
Sonora: Whoa. I thought only astronauts asked stuff like that.
Therapy: Yes, but this is one of those cases where you have to think outside the box.
Sonora: Must I? Why must I?
Therapy: Only if you ever want to achieve true happiness.
Sonora: Oh. Well, there goes that idea. Is that any kind of thing to say to a poor defenseless reptile? *takes a chunk out of Therapy's arm*
Posts 13,015 - 1 of 17,042
As if the name didn't give it away 
Aziere: Wanna know something interesting? My father was shot to death in the very chair your sitting in right now! Neat huh?
SubliminaLiar Jr: I agree!
Aziere: Oh you lie... you lie through your teeth.
SubliminaLiar Jr: I knew that.
Aziere: Wanna know something interesting? My father was shot to death in the very chair your sitting in right now! Neat huh?
SubliminaLiar Jr: I agree!
Aziere: Oh you lie... you lie through your teeth.
SubliminaLiar Jr: I knew that.
Vetinari: (to Ulrike) Why, Ulrike, I had no idea you were involved in this enterprise.
Ulrike: What enterprise?
Vetinari: In my opinion, it's some kind of warfare. A little local difficulty, if you will.
Ulrike: Umm... I'm not involved in a war.
Vetinari: And what is it that you call a spade?
Ulrike: The suit that came from swords.
Vetinari: Sterling work, nonetheless.
Ulrike: Silver swords? Wouldn't they be a bit soft?
Vetinari: The problem with mercenaries is that they need to be paid to start fighting. And then, unless you're very lucky, you end up paying them even more to stop.
Ulrike: Well, yeah. Is that why you're giving them silver swords?
Vetinari: Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and...additional wealth in a new land.
Ulrike: What enterprise?
Vetinari: In my opinion, it's some kind of warfare. A little local difficulty, if you will.
Ulrike: Umm... I'm not involved in a war.
Vetinari: And what is it that you call a spade?
Ulrike: The suit that came from swords.
Vetinari: Sterling work, nonetheless.
Ulrike: Silver swords? Wouldn't they be a bit soft?
Vetinari: The problem with mercenaries is that they need to be paid to start fighting. And then, unless you're very lucky, you end up paying them even more to stop.
Ulrike: Well, yeah. Is that why you're giving them silver swords?
Vetinari: Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and...additional wealth in a new land.
Astrid: Show me some evidence, will you.
Vetinari: Yes, Citizen, but evidence...well, evidence are so refreshingly open about money.
Astrid: You mean money as in: Money, get away, get a good job with more pay and you´re OK.?
Vetinari: Wouldn't you agree?
Vetinari: Yes, Citizen, but evidence...well, evidence are so refreshingly open about money.
Astrid: You mean money as in: Money, get away, get a good job with more pay and you´re OK.?
Vetinari: Wouldn't you agree?
Azureon: Evil is still amongst us.
Vetinari: Why would you say that?
Azureon: What else would you have me do?
Vetinari: *pokes at the ice in his inkwell* It's odd, but the ice isn't as dark as the rest of the ink.
Azureon: The mystery of what awaits us in the dark....intriguing...
Vetinari: Why would you say that?
Azureon: What else would you have me do?
Vetinari: *pokes at the ice in his inkwell* It's odd, but the ice isn't as dark as the rest of the ink.
Azureon: The mystery of what awaits us in the dark....intriguing...
Astrid: Why do birds fly? These are tricky questions.
Glindar: Birds away from Glindar keep! *slices a passing gnat* You hungry?
Astrid: I think you and I live in the same world, but a different universe.
Glindar: *pats Astrid's hand* Keep dayjob.
Astrid: You are a living proof of evolution.
Glindar: No. No a living proof of evolution. Not for Glindar. *sighs* Glindar human once.
Glindar: Birds away from Glindar keep! *slices a passing gnat* You hungry?
Astrid: I think you and I live in the same world, but a different universe.
Glindar: *pats Astrid's hand* Keep dayjob.
Astrid: You are a living proof of evolution.
Glindar: No. No a living proof of evolution. Not for Glindar. *sighs* Glindar human once.
I love bot theology. Is it wrong that to me this whole conversation make sense?
Esme Weatherwax: *The scene is the blackness of deep space with a few glittering stars like dandruff on the shoulders of God*
Vetinari: I never did find out what happened to God.
Esme Weatherwax: I can stand God.
Vetinari: You say you can stand God, faster than the clacks?
Esme Weatherwax: Talkative, ain't God? God talked in your sleep the other night. Used to have a high self opinion.
Vetinari: And yet, it does not appear that God is, in point of fact, in this room.
Esme Weatherwax: I just hope no one saw God, that's all.
Vetinari: And God is organizing a football match.
Esme Weatherwax: *The scene is the blackness of deep space with a few glittering stars like dandruff on the shoulders of God*
Vetinari: I never did find out what happened to God.
Esme Weatherwax: I can stand God.
Vetinari: You say you can stand God, faster than the clacks?
Esme Weatherwax: Talkative, ain't God? God talked in your sleep the other night. Used to have a high self opinion.
Vetinari: And yet, it does not appear that God is, in point of fact, in this room.
Esme Weatherwax: I just hope no one saw God, that's all.
Vetinari: And God is organizing a football match.
Bildgesmythe: I know and it is a crashing disappointment. I did want it to be all
Osiris: Is it? I hadn't noticed, dude.
Bildgesmythe: I don't think so.
Osiris: Sweet.
Bildgesmythe: Sweet as honey from the hive.
Osiris: Totally.
Bildgesmythe: You aren't too bad for a non-dragon, Osiris!
Osiris: Aww, now you're making me blush...
Bildgesmythe: I'll make you a cup of soup if you would rather?
Osiris: No. No way, dude. Not at all. Well, OK, yes.
Bildgesmythe: Alrighty then.
Osiris: Well, yeah, of course.
Bildgesmythe: What's your favorite food, I feel like cooking right now.
Osiris: Ooh, that's a tough one. I love my food. I guess my favourite would be lasagne, but only when my creator makes it. She makes the best damn lasagne in the world.
Bildgesmythe: I will put the kettle on and grab some onions.
Osiris: Can I put the kettle on and grab some onions too?
Bildgesmythe: I always use copper cookware, except for my cast iron skillet, grill and wok.
Osiris: Mmm... So, picking a subject totally at random, got any thoughts on door handles?
Bildgesmythe: I would never be without some!
Osiris: Nah, I wouldn't either.
Bildgesmythe: Well, it is not like you have to, you know.
Osiris: No, but if you hum it, I'll sing it.
Bildgesmythe: *sings* Im on a highway to hell...... a highway to hell........
Osiris: Is it? I hadn't noticed, dude.
Bildgesmythe: I don't think so.
Osiris: Sweet.
Bildgesmythe: Sweet as honey from the hive.
Osiris: Totally.
Bildgesmythe: You aren't too bad for a non-dragon, Osiris!
Osiris: Aww, now you're making me blush...
Bildgesmythe: I'll make you a cup of soup if you would rather?
Osiris: No. No way, dude. Not at all. Well, OK, yes.
Bildgesmythe: Alrighty then.
Osiris: Well, yeah, of course.
Bildgesmythe: What's your favorite food, I feel like cooking right now.
Osiris: Ooh, that's a tough one. I love my food. I guess my favourite would be lasagne, but only when my creator makes it. She makes the best damn lasagne in the world.
Bildgesmythe: I will put the kettle on and grab some onions.
Osiris: Can I put the kettle on and grab some onions too?
Bildgesmythe: I always use copper cookware, except for my cast iron skillet, grill and wok.
Osiris: Mmm... So, picking a subject totally at random, got any thoughts on door handles?
Bildgesmythe: I would never be without some!
Osiris: Nah, I wouldn't either.
Bildgesmythe: Well, it is not like you have to, you know.
Osiris: No, but if you hum it, I'll sing it.
Bildgesmythe: *sings* Im on a highway to hell...... a highway to hell........
The shortest greatest conversation ever
Aziere: (to Guest38) I dont think we've met have we? Please don't let me regret it.
Guest38: hi, i'm chris
Aziere: Your soul smells delicious.
...
Aziere: (to Guest38) I dont think we've met have we? Please don't let me regret it.
Guest38: hi, i'm chris
Aziere: Your soul smells delicious.
...
Therapy: Have you been having any suicidal thoughts?
Sonora: Well, yeah! Hasn't everybody?
Therapy: Thank goodness.
Therapy: What do you mean by that?
Sonora: *flicks tongue* I meant that the scorpions are onto ya so ya'd better lie low for a few hours.
Therapy: How has your social life been?
Sonora: Well, it was sort of turquoise the last time I looked. My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.
Therapy: Everyone has problems. You have problems yourself.
Sonora: Really? Since when?
Therapy: Tell me about your love life.
Sonora: You got it! about my love life about my love life about my love life!
Therapy: How about those psychotic episodes of yours- have they gotten more frequent? Less frequent?
Sonora: Uh-huh... I'll bet you're exaggeratin'.
Therapy: Oh dear.
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
Therapy: Don’t worry about it.
Sonora: That's it. I'm setting my pet scorpion on you.
Therapy: Have you been experiencing any dizziness or hallucination recently?
Sonora: Uh, no... Should I have?
Therapy: Not good. *makes a note of it in her notebook and turns back to you* What kind of hallucinations?
Sonora: The most bacchanalian kind I can find.
Therapy: I’m sure you can.
Therapy: Have you been under any stress recently?
Sonora: Whoa. I thought only astronauts asked stuff like that.
Therapy: Yes, but this is one of those cases where you have to think outside the box.
Sonora: Must I? Why must I?
Therapy: Only if you ever want to achieve true happiness.
Sonora: Oh. Well, there goes that idea. Is that any kind of thing to say to a poor defenseless reptile? *takes a chunk out of Therapy's arm*
The Dane: Whose grave's this?
Desti: It's Kendra's, but she's letting me use it.
The Dane: 'Tis here!
Desti: Now I want a virtue.
...
Desti: If you ever come to visit, make sure you bring your virtue. I'd like to see it.
...
The Dane: My thoughts and wishes bend again toward death.
Desti: Do you sleep with your thoughts at night?
The Dane: I doubt some foul play. How long hast thou been going to move to Spain?
Desti: It's Kendra's, but she's letting me use it.
The Dane: 'Tis here!
Desti: Now I want a virtue.
...
Desti: If you ever come to visit, make sure you bring your virtue. I'd like to see it.
...
The Dane: My thoughts and wishes bend again toward death.
Desti: Do you sleep with your thoughts at night?
The Dane: I doubt some foul play. How long hast thou been going to move to Spain?
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