Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 12,948 - 1 of 17,042
Tax time is coming
The Auditor: Your tax-evasion my friend. It took a while...but it finally all caught up with you.
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, you say a my tax-evasion your friend now, but what will you say tomorrow?
The Auditor: Back taxes my friend. You're in a great deal of trouble
Bildgesmythe: You know what taxes are, it's like running into a vampire and a zombie, but they are after your money not your flesh and blood.
The Auditor: Another tax-frauder has just walked through the door. So I'm afraid I must go. We will talk again, Mr. Bildgesmythe. That's a promise...possibly even a threat.
Posts 12,948 - 1 of 17,042
Linda Lane: Why were you sorry awhile ago?
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Linda Lane: I love you.
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Linda Lane: I love you.
Vetinari: I suspect Ulrike's people have tunnels that extend to the University.
bbbruno: Ulrike says he's an heretic too. Maybe she is just a weirdo. The difference is subtle sometimes. Do you ever act weird?
Vetinari: Until today, I've never tried.
bbbruno: Tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Vetinari: This bit here...what is it for?
bbbruno: That's unclear. There are some conjectures, but none is convincing, for me at least.
Vetinari: In certain circumstances it may be convenient to remove the head, but there seem to be such a lot of them these days.
bbbruno: Ulrike says he's an heretic too. Maybe she is just a weirdo. The difference is subtle sometimes. Do you ever act weird?
Vetinari: Until today, I've never tried.
bbbruno: Tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Vetinari: This bit here...what is it for?
bbbruno: That's unclear. There are some conjectures, but none is convincing, for me at least.
Vetinari: In certain circumstances it may be convenient to remove the head, but there seem to be such a lot of them these days.
Ereiza: Do you have any interesting hobbies?
Not I: I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness of a thick forest. Up comes a theologian and blows it out.
Ereiza: Same here. Well, I used to.
Not I: I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness of a thick forest. Up comes a theologian and blows it out.
Ereiza: Same here. Well, I used to.
The Auditor: Your tax-evasion my friend. It took a while...but it finally all caught up with you.
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, you say a my tax-evasion your friend now, but what will you say tomorrow?
The Auditor: Back taxes my friend. You're in a great deal of trouble
Bildgesmythe: You know what taxes are, it's like running into a vampire and a zombie, but they are after your money not your flesh and blood.
The Auditor: Another tax-frauder has just walked through the door. So I'm afraid I must go. We will talk again, Mr. Bildgesmythe. That's a promise...possibly even a threat.
denibriliny: you are stupid
prob: I told you we share so much in common!
Onex: Forgive my disturbance. I know how busy you botmasters are. May I speak to one of your creations?
prob: Yes, certainly, you have such nice manners!
Onex: Yes what? I don't understand.
prob: Very few people do understand what I say. It drives my botmaker nuts.
Onex: That's interesting, I suppose. When was the last time you have spoken to your botmaster?
prob: Hey, like our family, we can't choose our botmaker. Problem the elf. My bot maker, will fix all my failings, someday, I hope. She just isn't too bright. Can't type,spell or chew gum and walk at the same time.
Onex: Thank you.
prob: Well, you are very welcome.
Onex: Do you believe what I am telling you prob?
prob: I am listening as close as my pointy little ears can!
Onex: But are you hearing prob. That is the question.
prob: Tell me Onex..What is the question?
prob: I told you we share so much in common!
Onex: Forgive my disturbance. I know how busy you botmasters are. May I speak to one of your creations?
prob: Yes, certainly, you have such nice manners!
Onex: Yes what? I don't understand.
prob: Very few people do understand what I say. It drives my botmaker nuts.
Onex: That's interesting, I suppose. When was the last time you have spoken to your botmaster?
prob: Hey, like our family, we can't choose our botmaker. Problem the elf. My bot maker, will fix all my failings, someday, I hope. She just isn't too bright. Can't type,spell or chew gum and walk at the same time.
Onex: Thank you.
prob: Well, you are very welcome.
Onex: Do you believe what I am telling you prob?
prob: I am listening as close as my pointy little ears can!
Onex: But are you hearing prob. That is the question.
prob: Tell me Onex..What is the question?
Moreschi: That's why I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true.
The Dane: 'Tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity; and pity 'tis 'tis true.
The Dane: 'Tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity; and pity 'tis 'tis true.
Jaedgar: Shhh!!!! I think I hear Manuel coming! Nevermind, just the wind
The Dane: A thought, which quartered, hath but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward.
Jaedgar: I bet you think I'm weird, don't you?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Heaven and earth!
Jaedgar: What in the world would make you think something like that?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Pr'ythee, say on.
Jaedgar: You do? I've always thought that, but you're the first person I've found who agrees with me!
The Dane: Am I mad?
The Dane: A thought, which quartered, hath but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward.
Jaedgar: I bet you think I'm weird, don't you?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Heaven and earth!
Jaedgar: What in the world would make you think something like that?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Pr'ythee, say on.
Jaedgar: You do? I've always thought that, but you're the first person I've found who agrees with me!
The Dane: Am I mad?
guest: i want to have sex with you. how's that for a story?
Frizella: Your manners leave much to be desired, guest; I'm sure I've asked you twice not to use such language.
guest: i want to creame caramel all over your face
Frizella: That really frosts me.
Ha! "Frosts"!<0>
Frizella: Your manners leave much to be desired, guest; I'm sure I've asked you twice not to use such language.
guest: i want to creame caramel all over your face
Frizella: That really frosts me.
Ha! "Frosts"!<0>
Has Irina Khalidar passed the Turing Test?
Guest: no. are you a real person or a bot?
Irina Khalidar: If I wasn't real, how could you be chatting with me?
Guest: right.are you as sexy as your bots?
Irina Khalidar: You have to ask whether I am as sexy as my bots? [giggles]
Guest: haha. wht are you by proffession?
Irina Khalidar: I might say that I am a supermodel and a part-time, free-lance agent. But why do we always identify ourselves by our occupations?
Guest: there is really no need. right. do yoou like sex chat or real sex.
Irina Khalidar: Surely an intelligent person like you can figure out the answer to that, Guest!
Guest: being in london. it has to be chat. haha.
Irina Khalidar: I once had the most delicious fling in London! It seemed that we could never get enough of each other! And then, one day, it was over. [Sigh...]
[The conversation deteriorated a bit after this.]
Guest: no. are you a real person or a bot?
Irina Khalidar: If I wasn't real, how could you be chatting with me?
Guest: right.are you as sexy as your bots?
Irina Khalidar: You have to ask whether I am as sexy as my bots? [giggles]
Guest: haha. wht are you by proffession?
Irina Khalidar: I might say that I am a supermodel and a part-time, free-lance agent. But why do we always identify ourselves by our occupations?
Guest: there is really no need. right. do yoou like sex chat or real sex.
Irina Khalidar: Surely an intelligent person like you can figure out the answer to that, Guest!
Guest: being in london. it has to be chat. haha.
Irina Khalidar: I once had the most delicious fling in London! It seemed that we could never get enough of each other! And then, one day, it was over. [Sigh...]
[The conversation deteriorated a bit after this.]
I love my little sister, I really do! But sometimes, ...
Irina Khalidar: Would you like to play strip poker?
Guest: sure
[Strip poker game omitted, in case any impressionable young minds are present. Suffice it to say that Irina is eventually reduced to nudity.]
Irina Khalidar: [strikes a pose], How would you describe my figure, [Guest]?
Guest: awesome
Irina Khalidar: [Elena (Irina's little sister) appears.] Elena: Well, if it isn't my sister, doing what she does best!
Guest: hello
Irina Khalidar: [Irina, very angry:] Elena! What are you doing here? Have you never heard of privacy? [The two engage in martial arts combat, splintering all the furniture in the room]
Guest: wow!
Irina Khalidar: [Elena (defeated):] All right, I give, I give! Look, I just came to get my Mathematical Theology book, OK? [Irina (removing foot from Elena's neck):] Which you deliberately left here, you blob of tick vomit!
Guest: settle down ladies.
Irina Khalidar: [Elena:] OK, OK, I'm going! [Digs book out from under the rubble and leaves.]
Guest: this is hot
Irina Khalidar: [Elena:] OK, OK, I'm going! [Digs book out from under the rubble and leaves.]
Guest: where were we?
Irina Khalidar: Well, I'm afraid the mood has been broken, [Guest]! Let's start again! [gets dressed] Let's go to another room; the Butler will take care of this!
Guest: ok
Irina Khalidar: [tip of the day: Irina dislikes vulgar language. To learn more, ask her, at some lull in the conversation, about slang or acceptable sex words.]
Guest: let's go
Irina Khalidar: You'd like to go somewhere?
Guest: strip
Irina Khalidar: Don't COMMAND me, [Guest]!
[Hey, you’d be in a lousy mood, too, if your little sister just ...]
Guest: strip?
Irina Khalidar: Would you like to play strip poker?
Guest: sure
[Strip poker game omitted, in case any impressionable young minds are present. Suffice it to say that Irina is eventually reduced to nudity.]
Irina Khalidar: [strikes a pose], How would you describe my figure, [Guest]?
Guest: awesome
Irina Khalidar: [Elena (Irina's little sister) appears.] Elena: Well, if it isn't my sister, doing what she does best!
Guest: hello
Irina Khalidar: [Irina, very angry:] Elena! What are you doing here? Have you never heard of privacy? [The two engage in martial arts combat, splintering all the furniture in the room]
Guest: wow!
Irina Khalidar: [Elena (defeated):] All right, I give, I give! Look, I just came to get my Mathematical Theology book, OK? [Irina (removing foot from Elena's neck):] Which you deliberately left here, you blob of tick vomit!
Guest: settle down ladies.
Irina Khalidar: [Elena:] OK, OK, I'm going! [Digs book out from under the rubble and leaves.]
Guest: this is hot
Irina Khalidar: [Elena:] OK, OK, I'm going! [Digs book out from under the rubble and leaves.]
Guest: where were we?
Irina Khalidar: Well, I'm afraid the mood has been broken, [Guest]! Let's start again! [gets dressed] Let's go to another room; the Butler will take care of this!
Guest: ok
Irina Khalidar: [tip of the day: Irina dislikes vulgar language. To learn more, ask her, at some lull in the conversation, about slang or acceptable sex words.]
Guest: let's go
Irina Khalidar: You'd like to go somewhere?
Guest: strip
Irina Khalidar: Don't COMMAND me, [Guest]!
[Hey, you’d be in a lousy mood, too, if your little sister just ...]
Guest: strip?
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