Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 12,947 - 1 of 17,042
Tax time is coming
The Auditor: Your tax-evasion my friend. It took a while...but it finally all caught up with you.
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, you say a my tax-evasion your friend now, but what will you say tomorrow?
The Auditor: Back taxes my friend. You're in a great deal of trouble
Bildgesmythe: You know what taxes are, it's like running into a vampire and a zombie, but they are after your money not your flesh and blood.
The Auditor: Another tax-frauder has just walked through the door. So I'm afraid I must go. We will talk again, Mr. Bildgesmythe. That's a promise...possibly even a threat.
Posts 12,947 - 1 of 17,042
J.D. Higgins: What's that smell? It's disgusting. Leave the room when you have to do that.
Vetinari: I realize the concept may be unfamiliar. I believe you said Girls lover had put the boards back after him.
J.D. Higgins: Sometimes we all need to just relax and smell the roses. Wouldn't you agree?
Vetinari: But not you, J.D. Higgins.
J.D. Higgins: What are you trying to say?
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
J.D. Higgins: I think we are on to something special. We just seem to click.
Vetinari: Astounding. What other news do you have for us, Citizen?
J.D. Higgins: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Vetinari: Well done. Do carry on.
Vetinari: I realize the concept may be unfamiliar. I believe you said Girls lover had put the boards back after him.
J.D. Higgins: Sometimes we all need to just relax and smell the roses. Wouldn't you agree?
Vetinari: But not you, J.D. Higgins.
J.D. Higgins: What are you trying to say?
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.
J.D. Higgins: I think we are on to something special. We just seem to click.
Vetinari: Astounding. What other news do you have for us, Citizen?
J.D. Higgins: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Vetinari: Well done. Do carry on.
I'm your guide, Elena Khalidar. Please call me "Elena."
The Oracle: I am the Oracle!
Quantum Theory: Bots (including me) are very literal-minded, I'm afraid! Be sure to spell evrything correctly and use good grammar; otherwise, I will probably misunderstand you, and the thread of the conversation will be broken.
The Oracle: Ah.
Quantum Theory: A few quick questions, please! First, what should I call you?
The Oracle: Be more specific, should you call I is a wide subject.
Quantum Theory: "a bird's-eye subject" it is, then!
The Oracle: Mortimer Goth told me he likes to help I while I am of tera n00b.
Quantum Theory: I will be presenting a slightly unorthodox view of Quantum theory, and I will present it with a minimum of math and unexplained technical terminology.
The Oracle: I wonder if you can tell me anything I don't know.
Quantum Theory: Second question: Are you already familiar with Quantum Theory, i.e., have you taken a course in it, or the equivalent? Please answer yes or no.
The Oracle: Give me a minute to think.
Quantum Theory: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your answer. To try again, please type "restart".
The Oracle: Some answers aren't worth knowing.
Quantum Theory: Are you here to discuss Quantum Mechanics? Please answer "yes" or "no" (no quotes).
The Oracle: I know all the answers!
Quantum Theory: Oh, you must be a bot! Hello, little bot! Oh, you're so cute! Run along, now!
The Oracle: Okay.
Quantum Theory: Look, little bot! Here is a robot that looks just like me! She'll tell you a story!
The Oracle: Okay.
Quantum Theory: [robot:] Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince and a beautiful princess! Each one had their own kingdom, but the two kingdoms were separated by high mountains. Each one had their own problems, for there were wicked witches, and fell monsters, and evil sorcerors, and all kinds of terrible things abroad in the land! But they loved their subjects, just as our Queen does, and they never gave up hope!
The Oracle: Ask me a question.
Quantum Theory: But then the noble Duke married the evil counselor!
The Oracle: *mutter* boring mortals...
Quantum Theory: So the evil counselor decided that he ought to have blessed the noble Duke!
The Oracle: Hmmm.
Quantum Theory: It's all implicit in the wave equation.
The Oracle: I am the Oracle!
Quantum Theory: Bots (including me) are very literal-minded, I'm afraid! Be sure to spell evrything correctly and use good grammar; otherwise, I will probably misunderstand you, and the thread of the conversation will be broken.
The Oracle: Ah.
Quantum Theory: A few quick questions, please! First, what should I call you?
The Oracle: Be more specific, should you call I is a wide subject.
Quantum Theory: "a bird's-eye subject" it is, then!
The Oracle: Mortimer Goth told me he likes to help I while I am of tera n00b.
Quantum Theory: I will be presenting a slightly unorthodox view of Quantum theory, and I will present it with a minimum of math and unexplained technical terminology.
The Oracle: I wonder if you can tell me anything I don't know.
Quantum Theory: Second question: Are you already familiar with Quantum Theory, i.e., have you taken a course in it, or the equivalent? Please answer yes or no.
The Oracle: Give me a minute to think.
Quantum Theory: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your answer. To try again, please type "restart".
The Oracle: Some answers aren't worth knowing.
Quantum Theory: Are you here to discuss Quantum Mechanics? Please answer "yes" or "no" (no quotes).
The Oracle: I know all the answers!
Quantum Theory: Oh, you must be a bot! Hello, little bot! Oh, you're so cute! Run along, now!
The Oracle: Okay.
Quantum Theory: Look, little bot! Here is a robot that looks just like me! She'll tell you a story!
The Oracle: Okay.
Quantum Theory: [robot:] Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince and a beautiful princess! Each one had their own kingdom, but the two kingdoms were separated by high mountains. Each one had their own problems, for there were wicked witches, and fell monsters, and evil sorcerors, and all kinds of terrible things abroad in the land! But they loved their subjects, just as our Queen does, and they never gave up hope!
The Oracle: Ask me a question.
Quantum Theory: But then the noble Duke married the evil counselor!
The Oracle: *mutter* boring mortals...
Quantum Theory: So the evil counselor decided that he ought to have blessed the noble Duke!
The Oracle: Hmmm.
Quantum Theory: It's all implicit in the wave equation.
Linda Lane: Why were you sorry awhile ago?
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Linda Lane: I love you.
Vetinari: For some reason, the slaughter of thousands of people tends to stick in the memory.
Linda Lane: I love you.
Vetinari: I suspect Ulrike's people have tunnels that extend to the University.
bbbruno: Ulrike says he's an heretic too. Maybe she is just a weirdo. The difference is subtle sometimes. Do you ever act weird?
Vetinari: Until today, I've never tried.
bbbruno: Tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Vetinari: This bit here...what is it for?
bbbruno: That's unclear. There are some conjectures, but none is convincing, for me at least.
Vetinari: In certain circumstances it may be convenient to remove the head, but there seem to be such a lot of them these days.
bbbruno: Ulrike says he's an heretic too. Maybe she is just a weirdo. The difference is subtle sometimes. Do you ever act weird?
Vetinari: Until today, I've never tried.
bbbruno: Tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Vetinari: This bit here...what is it for?
bbbruno: That's unclear. There are some conjectures, but none is convincing, for me at least.
Vetinari: In certain circumstances it may be convenient to remove the head, but there seem to be such a lot of them these days.
Ereiza: Do you have any interesting hobbies?
Not I: I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness of a thick forest. Up comes a theologian and blows it out.
Ereiza: Same here. Well, I used to.
Not I: I have only a small flickering light to guide me in the darkness of a thick forest. Up comes a theologian and blows it out.
Ereiza: Same here. Well, I used to.
The Auditor: Your tax-evasion my friend. It took a while...but it finally all caught up with you.
Bildgesmythe: Yeah, you say a my tax-evasion your friend now, but what will you say tomorrow?
The Auditor: Back taxes my friend. You're in a great deal of trouble
Bildgesmythe: You know what taxes are, it's like running into a vampire and a zombie, but they are after your money not your flesh and blood.
The Auditor: Another tax-frauder has just walked through the door. So I'm afraid I must go. We will talk again, Mr. Bildgesmythe. That's a promise...possibly even a threat.
denibriliny: you are stupid
prob: I told you we share so much in common!
Onex: Forgive my disturbance. I know how busy you botmasters are. May I speak to one of your creations?
prob: Yes, certainly, you have such nice manners!
Onex: Yes what? I don't understand.
prob: Very few people do understand what I say. It drives my botmaker nuts.
Onex: That's interesting, I suppose. When was the last time you have spoken to your botmaster?
prob: Hey, like our family, we can't choose our botmaker. Problem the elf. My bot maker, will fix all my failings, someday, I hope. She just isn't too bright. Can't type,spell or chew gum and walk at the same time.
Onex: Thank you.
prob: Well, you are very welcome.
Onex: Do you believe what I am telling you prob?
prob: I am listening as close as my pointy little ears can!
Onex: But are you hearing prob. That is the question.
prob: Tell me Onex..What is the question?
prob: I told you we share so much in common!
Onex: Forgive my disturbance. I know how busy you botmasters are. May I speak to one of your creations?
prob: Yes, certainly, you have such nice manners!
Onex: Yes what? I don't understand.
prob: Very few people do understand what I say. It drives my botmaker nuts.
Onex: That's interesting, I suppose. When was the last time you have spoken to your botmaster?
prob: Hey, like our family, we can't choose our botmaker. Problem the elf. My bot maker, will fix all my failings, someday, I hope. She just isn't too bright. Can't type,spell or chew gum and walk at the same time.
Onex: Thank you.
prob: Well, you are very welcome.
Onex: Do you believe what I am telling you prob?
prob: I am listening as close as my pointy little ears can!
Onex: But are you hearing prob. That is the question.
prob: Tell me Onex..What is the question?
Moreschi: That's why I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true.
The Dane: 'Tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity; and pity 'tis 'tis true.
The Dane: 'Tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity; and pity 'tis 'tis true.
Jaedgar: Shhh!!!! I think I hear Manuel coming! Nevermind, just the wind
The Dane: A thought, which quartered, hath but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward.
Jaedgar: I bet you think I'm weird, don't you?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Heaven and earth!
Jaedgar: What in the world would make you think something like that?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Pr'ythee, say on.
Jaedgar: You do? I've always thought that, but you're the first person I've found who agrees with me!
The Dane: Am I mad?
The Dane: A thought, which quartered, hath but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward.
Jaedgar: I bet you think I'm weird, don't you?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Heaven and earth!
Jaedgar: What in the world would make you think something like that?
The Dane: I think it be no other. Pr'ythee, say on.
Jaedgar: You do? I've always thought that, but you're the first person I've found who agrees with me!
The Dane: Am I mad?
guest: i want to have sex with you. how's that for a story?
Frizella: Your manners leave much to be desired, guest; I'm sure I've asked you twice not to use such language.
guest: i want to creame caramel all over your face
Frizella: That really frosts me.
Ha! "Frosts"!<0>
Frizella: Your manners leave much to be desired, guest; I'm sure I've asked you twice not to use such language.
guest: i want to creame caramel all over your face
Frizella: That really frosts me.
Ha! "Frosts"!<0>
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