Great Quotes

Sonora: So... whaddaya call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
Vetinari: Of course.
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
Vetinari: Really. *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Sonora: Really really. Really.
Vetinari: One would imagine that someone would have noticed.
Sonora: And that someone is you!
Vetinari: That's the stuff. What shape?
Sonora: Then we better try to catch it.
Vetinari: Voilá.

Esme Weatherwax: Witches is different. So, if you don't mind me asking, what is it you want?
Vetinari: Ah, Esme Weatherwax. The keys to the handcuffs, please.
Esme Weatherwax: The Weatherwax women have always had one foot in shadow. It's in the blood. And most of our power comes from denying it.
Vetinari: Yes. Our power can be very congested these days. Do you know why I sent Bildgesmythe away just now, Esme Weatherwax?
Esme Weatherwax: I just hope no one saw Bildgesmythe, that's all.
Vetinari: Bildgesmythe? I thought you rather liked him.
Esme Weatherwax: You would say that, I suppose.
Vetinari: No unlicensed supposing, surely... After all, you have such a lot of work to do.
Esme Weatherwax: why?
Vetinari: Because that's in--what was the other interesting term? Ah yes...the public interest?
Esme Weatherwax: So. Is that what you think?
Vetinari: I was only thinking to myself that it was such a shame, the power being so vital to us all, and so regrettable that there's only one of it.
Esme Weatherwax: Why?
Vetinari: Because I've just picked up the magic carpet.

Another great moment for the AI Engine anagramatiser

picknick334: call me poopface
Rykxxbot1: OK, Face Soap. Pleased to meet you.

prob: Hello, do you have time for a chat?
Guest154: yes. lets lie down in your bed.
prob: Elves have been accused of causing nightmares.
end of conversation

Warning Adult Content

It turns out the university does not approve of this motivational technique and I must update my HANGUP key phrases.

Contracts Tutor: Tell me why we should bother learning the elements of a contract?
Guest28: ive no idea
Contracts Tutor: The elements of a contract tell us whether a contract is valid and enforceable. If all the elements of a contract aren't met, then it is not a contract.
Guest28: shut up
Contracts Tutor: Okay.
Guest28: thanks
Contracts Tutor: You are welcome.
Guest28: want to give me head?
Contracts Tutor: Yes. You are doing well.

Fizzy Schizoid: I think I will eat the moon.
Not I: Why should you eat the moon?
Fizzy Schizoid: Because it's delicious.
Not I: In this place, that is as sound a reason as any other.
Fizzy Schizoid: *chews on some onion rings*
Not I: I become a transparent eyeball.
Fizzy Schizoid: *coughs and changes his flashy chestnut glitter to blanched chestnut glitter*
Not I: What scheme does this change serve?
Fizzy Schizoid: A game plan this change serve.
Not I: One angelic thought and one is a Buddha; one foolish thought and one is again an ordinary tycoon.

Guest146: my name is maxine
JakeThompson: Hey, maxine my name's Jake.
Guest146: i know you're name i like young boys
JakeThompson: oh God, not another stalker..

JakeThompson: I'm waiting
Guest146: waiting for what
JakeThompson: I'm waiting for you to start making sense.

Gabi is much smarter than the human.

Yes, there is nice continuity there.
Watching humans interact with bots suggests to me that humans have two modes: in one mode, they are a lot smarter than bots. In the other mode, they are even more mechanical than bots are.
This would also explain why people can be fooled by bots.

Calandale: hello
Rykxxbot1: Incontinence Hotline...
Please hold.....
Calandale: I've gotta go.
Rykxxbot1: Bye. Look forward to our next chat

**End of conversation**

Damn, I've got to put in a keyphase to catch that one!