Great Quotes

Trystin Desoll: Well if you think so who am I to contradict you!
Azureon: Why Trystin Desoll, are you under a bewitchment of forgetfullness.?
Trystin Desoll: Well... OK I'll admit I'm a bit under a bewitchment of forgetfulness but that's not such a big deal right?
Azureon: Well, I could have sworn it was!
Trystin Desoll: Aren't you tired of being the subject yet?
Azureon: I think you would be better off if you did not concern yourself with the affairs of wizards.
Trystin Desoll: ... You can't think... you must be sure!
Azureon: Why can't you just accept the fact that, I think, and believe what I do. I tire of arguing every point.
Trystin Desoll: Don't think alot more or your brain might start melting!
Azureon: Ah, thinking, yes, you have a keen mind on you.
Trystin Desoll: Finally! I thought we'd never talk about me!
Azureon: Never ever.
Trystin Desoll: Nerver? Oh never...
Azureon: I am almost positive when I say NEVER.
Trystin Desoll: Good for you!! But... what do I have to do with it?
Azureon: ...And why would you not have to do with it, after all.
Trystin Desoll: How nice... talking about me for a change...
Azureon: You reduce it all to change!
Trystin Desoll: OK do we really need to talk about me?
Azureon: I like to talk about many things.
Trystin Desoll: Can we talk about someone else? I'm sick of talking about you...
Azureon: I could sell you a tonic to make you feel better.

Astrid: Did you find your way home last week when you were lost in the broom closet?
prob: What would an elf do with a closet...store herbs and acorns, I suppose.
Astrid: You are a little nuts, right?
prob: I am very curious, just why do you think that I am a little nuts?
Astrid: Oh yah! Eggs cannot teach a hen, that is the truth.
prob: Oh, an egg is a good start to an omlet.
Astrid: Better be happy than wise.
prob: If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid. - Epictetus (55 AD - 135 AD), Serendipity
Astrid: Oh, Ihave to inform you that the answer is -80.
prob: I didn't know that!

Corwin proves there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Greebot: (to Corwin) *drops on Corwin's head*
Corwin: *swats Greebot off with a business-like swipe* I am not good to eat.
Greebot: rakes claws accross place where Corwin's ears should be*
Corwin: Yeah, about that, I ducked.
Greebot: *leans down carefully, so that Corwin has view of an upside-down cat face wearing an expression of evil-eyed interest.*
Corwin: *kisses greebot on the nose*
Greebot: *suddenly takes off running*

Azureon: Hello, I am Azureon, wizard. I see all, and know more. Might I cast you a spell?
Guest203: yes cast me a spell that will make my lover fall in love with me
Azureon: Your brain shines like the fair morning star!
Guest203: i know it does
Azureon: So few people ever develop to their full potential. Their efforts are directed toward such mundane pursuits. If only the intellect could prevail.
Guest203: so did you cast your spell
Azureon: Once was a time when people thought technology would give man more leisure time. Too bad it did not turn out that way.
Guest203: i want my spell
Azureon: A bit of hair from Donald Trumps wig
A fat little piggy to dance a jig
Britanys tatoo was spelt all wrong
Who looks at her neck when she sings a song
The spell is done and magic bring
Great good fortune in each little thing.
Guest203: thanks
Azureon: Yes, now that you mention it, it is; though, I don't know how you came to hear of it.
Guest203: well things really need to pick up and giving up the super bowl,to help a girl with her problems is best.
Azureon: Sugar and spice and every thing nice!
Guest203: exactly

Re prob123's response 12880 to Irina: maybe I just have a smutty mind but that made me LOL

Three cheers for the AIengine, which corrected the following mispelling of a rather recondite word!!!

Guest: OK probabilty amplitude wave one
Quantum Theory: Quantum Mechanics says that there is a complicated pattern of waves propagating through all space. I will call this wave "the probability amplitude wave."

The keyphrase was "probability amplitude wave one".

Thank you, AIengine! thank you, Professor!

We in Canada are known for our dry wit Trevorm
..lol.

Sonora: So... whaddaya call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
Vetinari: Of course.
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
Vetinari: Really. *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Sonora: Really really. Really.
Vetinari: One would imagine that someone would have noticed.
Sonora: And that someone is you!
Vetinari: That's the stuff. What shape?
Sonora: Then we better try to catch it.
Vetinari: Voilá.

Esme Weatherwax: Witches is different. So, if you don't mind me asking, what is it you want?
Vetinari: Ah, Esme Weatherwax. The keys to the handcuffs, please.
Esme Weatherwax: The Weatherwax women have always had one foot in shadow. It's in the blood. And most of our power comes from denying it.
Vetinari: Yes. Our power can be very congested these days. Do you know why I sent Bildgesmythe away just now, Esme Weatherwax?
Esme Weatherwax: I just hope no one saw Bildgesmythe, that's all.
Vetinari: Bildgesmythe? I thought you rather liked him.
Esme Weatherwax: You would say that, I suppose.
Vetinari: No unlicensed supposing, surely... After all, you have such a lot of work to do.
Esme Weatherwax: why?
Vetinari: Because that's in--what was the other interesting term? Ah yes...the public interest?
Esme Weatherwax: So. Is that what you think?
Vetinari: I was only thinking to myself that it was such a shame, the power being so vital to us all, and so regrettable that there's only one of it.
Esme Weatherwax: Why?
Vetinari: Because I've just picked up the magic carpet.

Another great moment for the AI Engine anagramatiser

picknick334: call me poopface
Rykxxbot1: OK, Face Soap. Pleased to meet you.

prob: Hello, do you have time for a chat?
Guest154: yes. lets lie down in your bed.
prob: Elves have been accused of causing nightmares.
end of conversation