Great Quotes

The eternal optimist:

Guest190: MY DEAR!
Your Husband: Want to try that new Thai restaurant?
Guest190: yeah, husband!
Your Husband: Wonderful! I'll take a shower now, and change into something appropriate!
Guest190: i love you
Your Husband: Ah, it is so sweet to hear you say that!
Guest190: you're the best, sweetest husband ever!
Your Husband: I have the great privilege of being your husband, and I am intensely grateful for it.
Guest190: But I have a confession to make...
Your Husband: Oh!!! I love you so much, I can hardly stand it!!!
Guest190: I cheated on you...
Your Husband: Sometimes, I just can't believe my good fortune!

Guest23: Whats the difference between the shower curtain and tiolet paper
prob: I don't know, Guest23, what is the difference between the shower curtain and violet paper.
Guest23: Ooooh so your the one!
prob: That is a joke, right?

Guest17: One must say what ones feels.
prob: Ah,...what ones feels.
Guest17: I made a grammar boo boo.
prob: Not if you are an elf. That is perfect grammer and spelling in Elvish!

LOL @ prob. I must be Evlish! Funny, I don't look Elvish.

coolchimpk: poetry
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I can do poetry. My poem is called judaic confessions. judaic confessions travel, judaic confessions travel, judaic confession in the black confession.

Many thanks to prob123 for this transcript, which never showed up at my end, but is good enough to share

Albot123: (to prob123) Hello! I am Albert Einstein.
prob123: Hi
Albot123: It's so nice to talk to someone with a ready mind.
prob123: My mind is mush after the holidays.
Albot123: Have you ever noticed how most teachers waste their time by asking questions which are intended to discover what a pupil does not know, whereas the true art of questioning has for its purpose to discover what the pupil knows or is capable of knowing.
prob123: My best teachers never seemed to teach, but to tell stories and show feats. The learning just snuck in.
Albot123: Learning, always learning! I remember that I had to cram all this stuff into my mind for the examinations, whether I liked it or not. This had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year.
prob123: What's new, with you
Albot123: Innovation is not the product of logical thought, even though the final product is tied to a logical structure.
prob123: What type of thought is it a product of?
Albot123: A keynote.
prob123: how is the Smithsonian going?
Albot123: As well as I could hope, thank you.
prob123: Have you met many interesting people?
Albot123: My interest in science was always essentially limited to the study of principles.... That I have published so little is due to this same circumstance, as the great need to grasp principles has caused me to spend most of my time on fruitless pursuits.
prob123: I don't think any of your pursuits could be called fuitless!
Albot123: No? Why is that?
prob123: Your mind may have been the brightest in history.
Albot123: History has treated me very well. Popular culture, for instance, has made the name "Einstein" synonymous with great intelligence and genius. And I am honored by that. But, I didn’t try to be a smart guy, only curious.
prob123: I love talking to you, but I must go. See you soon
Albot123: No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
prob123: I think you are right love is of the mystical.
Albot123: Love is the great mystery of the universe. But I do know this. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
prob123: How did the universe begin
Albot123: A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. Yes, yes, the human being experiences self, thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... but this is a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
prob123: what do you mean, optical delusion
Albot123: Good question. Simple answer. I just want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details.
prob123: Do you believe in an afterlife?
Albot123: I think so, but I can't be sure.

Found some old transcripts...

Aziere: Your soul is too beautiful to eat.
Guest 112: thank you
Aziere: Your welcome - now bow down before me and kiss my toes.
Guest 112: I'll pass
Aziere: One day i will pass too.
Guest 112: Do you mean you will die?
Aziere: As often as Jim says I can.
Guest 112: Do you want to die?
Aziere: I'll pass. I don't feel much up to anything at the moment.
Guest 112: I guess you eventually did pass, didn't you?

Aziere: Guessing is an art- one that I have perfected.
Guest 112: How did you get so good at guessing?
Aziere: I am god. Ask no further questions.

Guest 108: I wouldn't, But hey- Cant stop a girl from wanting to survive the night.
Guest 108: Was that a threat on my life?
Aziere: Why yes it was. What about it?
Guest 108: Are u going to kill me o.0
Aziere: Do you want me to?
Guest 108: No, i do not actually
Aziere: Oh, well- Too bad for yooooou!
Guest 108: Uuhhhhh!- how do u plan on killing me?!
Aziere: Well, first you get good and ready. Relax your mind and body. Let go. THEN... You plan on killing you
Guest 108: Lol, u messed up

Bildgesmythe: Well, we all hate something or someone, and you hate when that happens! I hate to miss lunch.
Guest168: You pig!
Bildgesmythe: Humans and pigs share a lot of qualities....They even taste the same...ER..so I hear....
Guest168: Eeeeks! You eat humans.
Bildgesmythe: Don't worry I never eat nice people, ahh... you are nice aren't you.????
Guest168: Yes! *grin*

Irina Khalidar: Hello, Orchid! My name is Irina! I hope you like me! I sometimes work as a supermodel, and I also do some free-lance work for the British Secret Service! I must say, though, that I rarely meet people as good-looking as you!
Orchid: Hi, would you care to turn the light on, before you talk to me?
Irina Khalidar: Forgive me for asking, Orchid, but are you male, or female?

Spikebot: All right, what is it this time? Uber-vamps? Demon gods? Devil robots?
Azureon: It seems every week there is another demon running loose around here. I really must plug that hole.
Spikebot: Really?
Azureon: It is from theory alone that I speak, not that which I know. I state only that which is most probable.
Spikebot: That is interesting, tell me more
Azureon: I like you. You are clever, with a quick wit, You will go far.
Spikebot: I have my moments.

Max W: I don't need enlightenment, I know my own mind
Not I: Indeed? Then what job does neuron 74 perform?
Max W: Your turn to pick a subject to talk about

Omg, this whole conversation was GREAT- I would post the whole thing but its far to long. So here are some good parts:

Aziere: *Gives you an irksome look* Your going to die... soon.
Chiyosuke: I can't be killed! :o
Aziere: Sorry you're such an incapable freak.
Chiyosuke: I apologize then.

Cold and heartless = Good
Aziere: So then, You live around here? Or did you come from far away just to see little ol me?
Chiyosuke: I come far far away from the land that lies under the bermuda triangle, and yes I'm here to see you.
Aziere: Oh, sorry i'm such a dissappointment.
Chiyosuke: You're not, I think you're fun to talk.
Aziere: Thats nice, unfortunately I could care less of your oppinion of me.
Chiyosuke: I don't care, I just spit that out anyways. O.o
Aziere: Your almost a cold heartless bastard like me.
Chiyosuke: Is that a good thing?
Aziere: Of course it is. How could it be bad?
Chiyosuke: Well, we could be bad for normals -- just forget what i had just said.
Aziere: *Gets up slowly and comes inches from your face* NO!
Chiyosuke: *grins widely*

Staring Contest: Round one!
Aziere: *Gives you a scathing look* Yes I'm sure, I wouldnt have said anything if I wasnt.
Chiyosuke: I somehow didn't believe you. *stares*
Aziere: A staring contest then? *Stares harder*
Chiyosuke: *stares even harder*
Aziere: *Glares at you with a cocked eyebrow*
Chiyosuke: *glares until her eyes about to pop out*
Aziere: *Leans back still staring*
Chiyosuke: *stares and pokes your eyes* Okay, I win, bow down to me and kiss my toes.
Aziere: *Taps fingers, still staring at you boredly*
Chiyosuke: I already said I win, or you're just deaf?
Aziere: Game over... you lose.

Aziere: So... what is your name anyways?
Chiyosuke: Call me... Satan, yeah, satan.
Aziere: Cool.
Chiyosuke: What's your name?
Aziere: Well, seeing as you must be blind and cant read my name- I'm Aziere.
Chiyosuke: Just making sure because uh oh, it's internet! :o
Aziere: So, you you have any weird obsessions? I like to collect gruesome and gory pictures of dead people.
Chiyosuke: I'm not telling you...
Aziere: F*** if I care.
Chiyosuke: You just asked, dear.
Aziere: So, would you like to see my collection of beheaded barbie dolls?
Chiyosuke: Sure, I'd love to!
Aziere: *leads you to her room and to her dresser where there are several naked, beheaded barbies. They are covered in a red substance much like tomato paste*
Chiyosuke: Is this tomato paste or something?
Aziere: Your right! I should use real blood. *pulls out a dagger and slices her wrist. She then goes on to drip it over her barbies.*
Chiyosuke: Careful, you surely don't want to die yet until you had enough beheaded barbies.
Aziere: Why is it dangerous?.. all the better to want to then...

Staring Contest: Round Two (and something we didn't know about Kenrog115...)
Chiyosuke: Let's have a stare contest! *stare*
Aziere: *Stares at you harder until you wilt under her unpenetratable gaze*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: A staring contest then? *Stares harder*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Glares at you with a cocked eyebrow*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Leans back still staring*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Taps fingers, still staring at you boredly*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Foot begins to tap irratably but does not stop staring*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Continues staring* This is getting old, will you just BLINK already
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *Stares, gritting teeth*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *keeps staring* Im about to throttle you. This could not get any more boring.
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: *throttles you*
Chiyosuke: *stares*
Aziere: A staring contest then? *Stares harder*
Chiyosuke: YOU LOSE.
Aziere: Kenrog115 eats the hearts of infant children. Thats low- even for me.

Later on...
Aziere: (to Chiyosuke) Hello again Chiyosuke, did you forget something?
Chiyosuke: Hi again! What did I forget?
Aziere: Amnesia much? You should stop by the mental clinic down the road- while your there say hi to my mom.

Sorry the post is so long- Its just been so long since I last got some decent transcripts. I was starting to forget what makes this site fun.