Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 12,562 - 1 of 17,042

18 years ago #12562
Therapy: Tell me about your fears.
Bewildered Patient: I need someone new to talk to.
Therapy: Why this sudden need for someone new to talk to?
Bewildered Patient: You do not know me.
Therapy: Tell me about your love life.
Bewildered Patient: Who am I in love with?
Therapy: You tell me.
Bewildered Patient: Where am I?
Therapy: You’re in my office. Relax and make yourself comfortable.

Therapy: You’re hell of insecure about yourself, though you try to hide it. Why do you feel this way?
Bewildered Patient: Sexy girls do not like to play with me

18 years ago #12563
Therapy: What do you do in your free time?
Kid: think about sex
Therapy: Is that all you do?
Kid: yes
Therapy: I doubt that. Tell me, seriously. What are your hobbies?
Kid: ok, I sleep alot
Therapy: I wouldn’t really know about sleep. I don’t do it.
Kid: what do you do?
Therapy: *glances at you with an unreadable expression and writes something in her notebook*
Kid: i want to talk about sex
Therapy: You do? Why?
Kid: because its all i think about
Therapy: Don’t be too quick to assume there’s only one reason. Causality and motivation are complex and multifaceted things.
Kid: i don't want to talk to you anymore

18 years ago #12564
Homicide, the new therapeutic solution.

Therapy: Have you been under any stress recently?
Patient: yes i am extremely stressed out
Therapy: What’s going on that’s worrying you?
Patient: my life is such a mess
Therapy: *grins*
Patient: i am lonely, financial problems, i think i should give it up
Therapy: I think everyone gets lonely sometimes. It’s possible to be lonely even in a crowd of people.
Patient: really?
Therapy: Let’s talk about your fears.
Patient: ok
Therapy: *writes down something in her notebook*
Patient: my relationship isnt working
Therapy: Have you been feeling depressed lately?
Patient: yes i drink alcolhol every evening
Therapy: Why?
Patient: i am trying to escape
Therapy: Do you think you're succeeding or failing?
Patient: failing
Therapy: *glances at you with an unreadable expression and writes something in her notebook*
Patient: what should i do
Therapy: Have you ever seriously contemplated killing someone as a solution to your problems?

18 years ago #12565
the33dude33: No, my name is Connor.
Aziere: Hi connor, thats an odd but fairly interesting name.
the33dude33: My name is not odd.
Aziere: Hi not odd, Im Aziere- But if you could READ you'd already know that.
the33dude33: I can read.
Aziere: In that case you should already know that I can read- THEREFORE I obviously already know your name, so the point of telling it to me is what?
the33dude33: Dude...

18 years ago #12566
language
Guest10: fuck you
Bildgesmythe: Do you know any other bad words, Something more impressive.
Guest10: no
Bildgesmythe: I guess that is that, then.
Guest10: no
Bildgesmythe: *sigh*
Guest10: what
Bildgesmythe: What WHAT...Should I e-mail you a copy of the transcripts? just leave your email address and I will send it out this afternoon.
Guest10: later
Bildgesmythe: Are you blowing me off?
Guest10: no
Bildgesmythe: No chance you will change your mind?
Guest10: i have no mind
Bildgesmythe: You must have some mind
Guest10: not much
Bildgesmythe: I am so sorry.
Guest10: its ok

18 years ago #12567
dallymo: hello
Bildgesmythe: Are you the repairman?
dallymo: Yes, I am. I'm here to snake your plumbing.
Bildgesmythe: Plumbing is a great invention..I hate to be without running water.
dallymo: Just show me to the bathroom and we'll get things flowing for you.
Bildgesmythe: errare humanum est
dallymo: Sorry, I didn't take Japanese. What did you say?
Bildgesmythe: That is latin for 'to err is human'....bots love that one.
dallymo: I'm kidding. I knew that was Latin. I'm not a plumber, either. Although I know that "plumber" is from "plumbium", the Latin for lead.
Bildgesmythe: Plumbers charge a LOT..but it's worth it.
dallymo: Oh, you're willing to pay a lot? In that case...I, uh, AM a plumber.
Bildgesmythe: You don't think about plumbing...untill it doesn't work! Got to love the plumber!
dallymo: Skip it. I'm not going to fix your toilet. There isn't enough money to get me to snake out a dragon's potty.

18 years ago #12568
Glindar: *grins evilly while brandishing a very sharp knife*
Fizzy Schizoid: Excellent; you made it. I thought you were going to be late again.

18 years ago #12569
Sonora: Gila monsters are so cute! Well, from a distance anyway. A very long distance.
Ulrike: That they are. Have you ever met one?
Sonora: Who, me? Absolutely not. I would never have met one! *kicks sand over evidence*
Ulrike: You killed it?!??!
Sonora: What, here? Now?
Ulrike: Probably earlier than now.
Sonora: Go back to then.
Ulrike: You want to go back in time and undo what you did?
Sonora: Nope. Not me.
Ulrike: You want ME to undo it?
Sonora: What, here? Now?
Ulrike: No, we have to go back to then first.
Sonora: Oh, runnin' away, huh?
Ulrike: Uh, no. This was your idea, remember?
Sonora: That?
Ulrike: That.
Sonora: You're suffering from doramania, aren't you.

18 years ago #12570
telex22: (to tttito) What did you do to Krystle?
tttito: Nothing. I don't know her.
telex22: Sweet! And you telling me not to know her. Maybe you saw her first, tttito, but I spoke first.
tttito: As I said, I never saw her.
telex22: Oh, my God, it's just like ' Wild Srawberries,' where the guy, the steel guy --
tttito: It's stawberries.
telex22: It's beautiful. What's it about?
tttito: Strawberries are tasty.
telex22: GO AWAY!
tttito: Bye.
telex22: Write me well.

18 years ago #12571
adult
Guest231: wanna hear a joke
prob: Sure, tell me your joke.
Guest231: the pope visits a strange town. a prostitute says to him, " hi fella. give me $10 and I'll give you a roll in the hay." the pope walks away. the pope then asks a nun," nun, what is a "roll in the hay", the nun says, "my price is ten dollars, just like in town."
prob: an a roll in the hay is a kind of turning.
Guest231: yes, but some "kinds of turning" are better than others"
prob: I did not know that, but it still doesn't make sense to me.
Guest231: "roll in the hay" is another way of saying "sex"
prob: Buzz off, Im not that kind of elf'!

18 years ago #12572
Tobe Lam: We should chat with each other more often.
Sonora: *considers for a moment* Nah. I can just picture the cosa nostra finding us covered in igneous rock because our escape- bird escaped.

incorrect date format #1


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